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Monday, March 15, 2010

Mommy Moments!

Oh this is right up my alley because with 2 toddlers and a tween, how can I NOT have Mommy Moments??  It would be absolutely impossible not to laugh at the worst of times…..after all, if you can’t laugh, you might as well buy your plot now because you’ll never survive!!

Mommy Moment Mondays! brought to you by Frugal Vicki over at Frugal Mom Knows Best.  You know we all have them. That beautiful moment that makes you realize you are a mom, the moment that something you swore you would never say comes out of your mouth, those moments you couldn't even make up if you tried? Well, let's share shall we? Those moments in which we are pulling our hair out, trying not to cry, laugh, or scream. Moments we think we would never see, and moments we think we will never laugh at?  LINK UP or I think Frugal Vicki said something about becoming the spam queen.....

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So…here’s one of my moments.

And I must add,  this moment has happened over and over and OVER since beginning the potty-training with Lil Lady.  It starts off with me being the organized mom….I have a bag of prizes, I have tons of stickers, I have a potty that will play music…..and I also have a Little Man who thinks HE needs to sit on the potty.  Lil Lady is 3 1/2 and Little Man just turned 2.

Me to Lil Lady:  "Time to pottyyyyyyyyy!!  Are you ready?" (said in my sing-songy voice I use to make it sound like something fun)

Lil Lady: "No."

Me: "Oh come on…..I have stickerrrrrs!" (sing-songy voice again)

Lil Lady:  "nuh-uh."

Little Man: "Me Me Me!!!"

Me: "Don’t you wanna hear it play musicccc???"  (Sing-songy voice getting a bit weaker)

So I take Lil Lady’s hand and drag her princess ass walk her gently to the potty chair.  You notice I didn’t say “walk her to the bathroom”, because the potty chair is NEVER where it’s supposed to be.  Little Man likes to use it to get up on the highest of places.  He also uses the diaper boxes and his newest item to use as a step stool is his new Sit-n-Spin.  You got it…..

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Lil Lady is already starting to pull away, Little Man is getting all excited and trying to pull his pants down.  Lil Lady has her knees clamped together so I CAN’T get HER pants down.  I’m tackling Lil Lady…..Little Man has his pants and diaper half off….Lil Lady is getting louder and more insistent that she is NOT sitting on the pot….Little Man is still saying “Me Me Me!!”

fight I am breaking a sweat now.

Me:  "Lil Lady!!!  I have a fucking bag of prizes for Pete’s sake!!!!"

Little Man:  "Me Me!!!!"

Oh.  Good. Lord. You. Have. Got. To. Be. Fucking. Kidding. Me.

I finally get a hold of Lil Lady in a death grip turn to sit her little tushy on the pot and Little Man already has his ass on there!  I try to get him off one-handed, this allows Lil Lady some freedom from my death grip and she’s free….

But what does she do??  The sweet Lil Lady that didn’t want to sit on the potty in the first place?  She goes over to Little Man, uses all her power and basically karate chops him off the pot and then says, “It’s MY turn!!”



He’s laying on the floor, she’s towering over him, and she adds….”and YOU don’t PUSH!!”

Wow!!

It ends with neither one of them peeing on the potty, Lil Lady is ticked off, Little Man is planning his revenge and I’m ready for some caffeine and Xanax.

Can potty training be any more fun??

Go on…go link up with Frugal Vicki!!  Every Mom has some Mommy Moments!!

13 comments:

GregoryJ said...

Thank goodness I'm not a parent.
I could never handle that.
Good Luck.

Brittney said...

goodness gracious... hmmm Im thinking maybe Bailey should be an only child! hahaha just kidding, it will get easier, but if Lil man is interested let him try, I potty trained bailey by the age of 2!

Lo said...

A brilliant post.......thanks.
Got no chilluns but I love reading about your adventures with yours.
Your blog is great.

Lo said...

A brilliant post.......thanks.
Got no chilluns but I love reading about your adventures with yours.
Your blog is great.

Frugal Vicki said...

ROFLMAO! That was absolutely hilarious! I have actually gotten to the point now where all I say is "potty or timeout" okay, well scream/say what is the difference. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that story!
Thanks for joining!

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

It's stories like this that make me grateful to have only one kidlet. Thanks for the laugh!

Shell said...

Completely cracking up here!

I despise potty training.

Linda Medrano said...

Terry, my daughter used to use the potty, and then empty the contents on the floor. See, it could be worse. Your girl just has a hard head and will come around when she comes around. Relax. I promise she won't be in diapers when she's 12, and if she is, she can change them herself!

Mad Woman said...

I potty trained my son by locking me, him and a potty in the kitchen with a smorgasbord of drinks and salty snacks (to make him keep drinking). We stayed there until he got the hang of it. Took 3 hours and by gum he was potty trained. Only had ONE accident after that.

Must be a boy thing.

It took me two weeks to train my daughter. Sigh. Stubborn cow.

Awesome story...made me giggle picturing the struggle.

WeaselMomma said...

I am prescribing that you take one shot of liquid courage immediately before you go into potty battle.

Tina said...

I am soooo happy not to deal with potty training anymore!!!

So Over Fat said...

Congratulations!! I am pleased to give you the Creative Blogger Award as one of the most creative blogs around. Here are the rules.

1. Thank the person who gave this to you.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you.
4. Tell up to six outrageous lies about yourself, and at least one outrageous truth.
5. Nominate seven "Creative Writers" who might have fun coming up with outrageous lies.
6. Post links to the seven blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them.

gayle said...

That is so Funny!!! More please!!!