Friday, July 30, 2010

It’s Ohh-kayyy

The Whispering Writer does a fun little thing on her blog on Tuesdays.  It’s not a “meme” per say, and there is no link up, but you should check out her blog anyways!!  Over at Airing My Dirty Laundry (one sock at a time), she says:

“I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. I think I’m going to do this every Tuesday now. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your diary. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either.”

And since she doesn’t care what day I do this, I pick today!  Hey…her “not-meme”, HER rules!

So, without further ado….

It’s O-kay…..

To get all freaked out when the 2 year old is walking along the cut up trees in our backyard.  It’s not like he’ll fall and crack his head on one of the other logs or anything….and he certainly won’t trip and and knock out a tooth, but hey, it’s ok to cringe, just a little.


To feel special when you are handed a boat-load of $1 off coupons from one of your favorite workers at your favorite coffee shop. 


It’s ok to sit in the bathtub with bubbles all around, Diet Coke on the ledge, iPod in hand and scream your head off for politely ask everyone who is on the other side of the door to SHUT THE FUCK UP so you can relax already.

It’s ok to be 2,000 miles OVER the mileage at which you were supposed to get an oil change.  Especially if you have a spouse, because that’s his job, no??

It’s ok to have lost a brain cell or two and not be able to count out $3.89 in change just because you usually hand the fella 4 one dollar bills.  It IS okayyyyyy!  This does NOT mean you have a tumor!!

It’s ok to be pissed at your doctor for putting you on a medication that may or may not cause swelling in your arms and legs.  Especially when he KNOWS your fear of weight gain. 

And it’s ok to take yourself OFF this said medication as you call your doc a Muther Trucker!!

It’s ok to roll your eyes when your patient continually answers your questions as if you’ve asked her something totally different, and then repeatedly DENY she needs a hearing aid. 

It’s also ok to think the spouse needs a hearing aide…yet….NOT one of these:


So….it really IS ok!!  Just ask The Whispering Writer!!

Have an awesome weekend, and if you don’t?? 

It’s Oh-Kayyyyyy!!!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Post It Note Tuesday and Facebook

Alrighty…link up and be happy.  Or link up and be nasty.  Or link up and make someone else happy.  Whatever you do, LINKthefuckUP!!



I somehow don’t understand why people need to share so much information.  Some of the posts I see on there really have my mouth hanging open and the words WHAT, THE, and FUCK come spewing out.




My sis from 2010-Year of Miracles sent a person my way on Facebook.  Apparently this person is pregnant with her second child, does not have much in the way of baby clothes, is some relative of my sister’s husband….like his brother’s wife’s daughter’s cousin or something like that.  Anyway, my sis knows how I like to dispose of my old and tattered baby stuff be generous with things I no longer need, so she asked if I would want to pass some things on to this person.




Really…I exchanged a few emails with this person but I guess it was too early in her pregnancy to really drive to get the free stuff, because she never made an attempt to let me know when she wanted it.  I asked my sister if she wanted to relay to this person that the stuff was still available, but then thought….



So, I left it be.  I figured if the girl was ready, she had my email and could contact me, right?

Well, I saw a post the other day from her on Facebook saying this….

HER: “feels so sad and worried. really dont want history to repeat itself.”

She was referring to being at the end of her last trimester…



Me:  Hang in there....stick to what feels right for you and baby. Don't let people sway your mind. It will be fine.....think of that little miracle that's soon to be here! 

A few other people gave their support as well.  One was a little lengthy, but I figured this was a good friend of hers. 

I should have kept my support to myself because the lengthy responses were amazing…She went from talking about something about abuse, and somethingorother about baking challah and then ending it with something about not having enough TP at one time and having to use washcloths!


I seriously wanted to crawl in a hole FOR her.  When I went to look back on the posts, I saw that SHE also wanted to crawl in a hole because she deleted that post!! 









Just like Mr. C. posted:        She's CUNTry..

Comment ·Like/Unlike · View Feedback (14)Hide Feedback (14)



Seriously, people.  Yes, we love to hear what you are doing, and we love to hear how you are at that particular moment, but nobody, and I mean NOBODY wants to hear all kinds of CRAP!!

If you want to air your dirty laundry, hang it in your own back yard, not FACEBOOK. 


Just sayin….

Happy Tuesday!!

Major Irritation

Ok, I pretty much had a major meltdown on Saturday.  I think my spouse was ready to leave me, my sister was more than willing to self-deliver a few Xanax, and the kids were cowering in their bedrooms.  Well, except for Little Man….he kept being….Little Man! 

I don’t really know what got into me.  I seriously felt like I was going off the deep end.

Somehow on Sunday I was able to pull it all together and function.  This is a damn good thing, because I was ready to strangle my Lil Lady.  She was doing sooooo well peeing on the potty and then all of a sudden yesterday she had “other plans”.  She decided, not one, not TWO, but THREE times to pee in her panties.  Ok, I understand the “accidents”, but what I did not understand was her peeing in the panties and then NOT telling me, and NOT hiding it from me either!!


I had wet panties hanging up all over the place to dry them out.  We only have so many pairs of the cute little padded panties for her. 


The first time I noticed she was wet, I asked her when she peed.  She nicely said, “When I was on the hockey table.”  Holy shibbitz!!  Are you kidding me? 

“Lil!!!  Did you pee ON the air hockey table???”

Lil Lady: “No Mom, on the floor.”


She got a mouthful from me with the third time.  BUT, since I was no longer on the verge of a mental breakdown, she survived.

Before bed we sat her on the potty and she went.  She asked if I wanted to see it.  Of COURSE!!  I would love nothing MORE than to look at your pee for the kazillionth time!!!

I showed her my excitement and told her I was so proud.  She said, “Are  you happy now??”


I said, “Yes, Lil, I AM HAPPY because now I won’t have to BEAT you!”

***************Take a Deep Breath***************

Now I don’t know if this has anything to do with me wanting to kill someone losing it a little bit on Saturday, but I stopped taking the Neurontin my doc prescribed for my pain.  Why did I stop??  Oh, just a bit of weight gain and an increase in my swelling.  I’m not talking about just my ankles, I think my arms were swelling too, although it’s hard to say because my arms are fat anyways my arms are very built….it’s in the genes, I’m sure.


Seriously, I could FEEEEEEL it in my arms…..It was wrong.  So I looked up the med, saw that one of the more serious side effects was swelling in the arms and legs…..yep, that would be me.  But when I told my doc that the water pill he gave me wasn’t working, what did he do??  He upped my dose, of course!!

Nope, I’m smarter than that!  I stopped the Neurontin, cold turkey.   And nearly killed my spouse just because he said good-morning!!!   Thank you, Doc H!!

Speaking of the spouse, I’m trying out  The Love Dare  on him.   A while ago we watched the movie, Fireproof, which was excellent.  Whether you are having marital problems or not, this movie is a must see.

What prompted me to look this up again was my mood swing on Saturday.  I thought we needed serious help.  I thought we were doomed.  I thought I wanted to dismember him.  Yes…it was serious enough for me to search my iPod for an appropriate app to fix this problem of mine.  (Everything SERIOUS gets iPod attention…fyi)

By the time I realized that I was the one having the problem, not him or US, I had already purchased the app on my iPod for the Love Dare, so I’m going through with it…. which is 40 Dares….40 Days….I guess to either make or break your marriage.  Ahhh, who the hell knows!!

Today was day #2 for me.  In addition to doing what day #1 suggested (don’t say anything negative to your spouse) I was supposed to do a simple act of kindness in his favor. 

Well, this morning I had asked him to wash the pan from the chicken that was cooked last  night.  When I got home, I saw the pan was still sitting there.  Of course, the first thing I did was send him a text (he was outside)…

Me:  “I see a pan…if you think I’m leaving it for you now just cuz you say to leave it, you are wrong.  Not nice….not nice at all….”

Then quickly I recalled the Love Dare….

Me again:  “Oops!  I’m supposed to be nice to you…sorry about the pan”

The spouse answered….

“Where did that come from??”

Me:  “Just shut up and accept that I’m letting you off the hook.”

Spouse:  “Yes Ma’am”

See??  It’s working!!  I’m lovin’ this Love Dare!!!

My simple random act of kindess for the spouse??  I baked him a potato for dinner.

That is all.

What???  I’m trying, people, I’m REALLY trying here!!  Shit….I could have washed the pan for the random act of kindness!!  WTF??  I’m no good at this…really….

Oh well….I guess that’s the point, right?  To get better at recognizing these things!!  Sound like alot of work?  It is….

I’ll keep you posted.

I think I need to apologize for this post…it’s quite random….and all over the place, but apparently my life is now topsy-turvy!!

IMG00752                 (My deck furniture after the storm on Saturday….)

Have an awesome day, People!!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Black Cloud

Things around here lately have been crazy.  There has been one thing after another happening, and it hasn’t been for the better.  Nope…not one bit.  It seems that each time I turn around there is just ONE. MORE. THING. that is happening. 

A few weeks ago it was the freakin credit card company helping itself to my checking account, therefore, taking my van payment along with it….I’m still not over THAT one.

The other day the teen and I were coming back from grocery shopping and I kid you not, there was a fucking black cloud chasing us. 

black cloud1

black cloud2

In the pictures it looks like it’s night time.  It was not.  Yes, it was dusk, but not NIGHT TIME.  It was so freaky that I was ducking down while driving!  (as if that would help…)

We made it home, ran in the house and instructed the spouse if he wanted the groceries, he could get them out of the car himself.

Then yesterday we went to a family picnic out at my Aunt’s “cottage” which is more like a mansion, and when we got home, apparently some sort of tornado like winds blew through our back yard.  Several trees were down.  More than “several” were twisted and cracked.  Amazing!!






And…this last one is pretty amazing….down by the creek my spouse and daughter made a memorial to my daughter’s Dad….THIS memorial was basically untouched…all it had was a small branch with leaves covering it…like it was being protected.




Someone above was watching out for things….That’s all I can say.  My sister says she thinks those little angels started the whole mess…


The spouse was all “OMG!” and “WTF!!??”  Me?  I laughed.  Yep, I laughed.  I laughed my ass off KNOWING this was going to cost some money to get cleaned up.  I also knew it wasn’t going to be as easy as calling our insurance company and paying the deductible.  Nope…..

Why?  Because we don’t HAVE the deductible!!  That’s why!!  (And we used our freebie claim when the spouse burned the nipples…

(Noooooo!  Not MY nipples and NOT Lady Gaga’s….the baby bottle nipples….Long story…..Will save it for another time.)

So, the spouse called the person that gave us an estimate on another tree that is about to come crashing down on our bedroom.  Told him to forgo the last estimate, we apparently have a mess that needs cleaning up first.  The last estimate for ONE tree was $1100.  You heard me. 


$1100 freakin bucks!!


THIS estimate is $780…I think…or something like that.  It doesn’t matter….



and UGH! again!!

The spouse and his brother, along with my sister’s hubby and his son, are out there trying to clean up the biggest part of the mess. 

We just can’t seem to get ahead of the game, ya know??

I keep saying…”it can only get better, right??”  But it gets worse.

I have to keep reminding myself that I have things to be thankful for.  I have a spouse that tries really hard to keep me from losing my mind, and 3 awesome children that keep me hopping 24/7.  What more could I want?  There is no money on this earth that could replace them.  So….

….even though I’m feeling quite poor, and my nails need a-fixin, and my back yard is destroyed, I have my family, and that is all I need.

Well, ALMOST all I need. 

I still need THIS:


Friday, July 23, 2010

My First Letters of Intent

Oh…Now THIS is a new one for me!!  Letters of Intent!!  You can link up over at Foursons!!  (Shit, I better go make sure I’m following her…..geesh….I should be sure of this stuff before I blog)

Anyways….I linked up and I hope you do too!  You can write short little letters to people that you love, those that make you smile, those that DON’T make you smile, or even those that piss you off.  Go ahead, give it a try!


Dear Lil Lady,

I am so very proud that you decided peeing on the potty wasn’t such a bad idea after all!  Never in my life have I been happier to hear the words “I have to pee!!” come out of anyone’s mouth.  I’m not sure what did it for you….the million-kazillion of prizes we bestowed upon you, or the fact that your little bro decided he would give it a try, or that Daddy made you wear the real panties and pee down your legs into your sparkly-toed tennis shoes….whatever the reason, I love you for finally giving in to our pleas!!


Proud Mommy

~_to_2010Mar07 248


Dear Patient,

When you asked me to do you a favor and cut your friend’s toenails, I seriously wanted to be helpful.  But….and this is a BIG BUT…..when I saw what I would be cutting, I knew the job was not for me.  I KNEW I could NOT get any closer.  I KNEW it was the last thing on earth that I was going to be performing that Monday morning in 90 degree weather in an apartment with no air conditioning and no home-maker that has been there to clean up after the two of you.  I apologize profusely.  I was honest when I said that toenails really aren’t my thing….


Your Nauseated Nurse


Dear Sis,

Just wanted to tell you that I love you!!  I am so proud of what you have nearly accomplished, you have no idea!!  Soon we will be working together with the old people and we can have all kinds of fun at work (but we are NOT cutting toenails…just so you know).  I wish you wouldn’t have given up your pinning ceremony because you SOOO deserve it, but I also understand your reasoning behind it.  I’m sorry you had a rotten shopping day yesterday, but I’m so happy you received a free paring knife and didn’t use it on anyone at the grocery store.  Just so you know, I would visit you everyday if you had used the knife and gotten incarcerated.  That’s what sisters are for!

Love you,

Your Little Sis

You can find my Sis over at 2010-Year of Miracles!  Stop by her blog and give her some comment LUV!!  She soooo deserves it!

And one more Letter of Intent….

Dear Family,

I know I have been a bit of a bitch lately, but I need to get one thing straight.  When I say I am at the end of my rope, you MUST listen, or at the very least, you MUST take cover a.s.a.p.

That is all.


Stress-Out Mom 


I’ve also linked up with Friday Follow, and you can too!  Just click the button below and follow the directions.  Wow…that’s simple, yes??

friday follow

This weeks hostesses are Shell from Things I Can’t Say, Terri from That’s What She Said, Tami from Hearts Make Families, Harriet from Harriet and Friends, and Ian from The Daily Dose of Reality. Please stop by and see these awesome host/hostesses.

I hope everyone has an awesome weekend!  Stay cool, if possible!!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Just Say No

Yesterday while reading blogs I realized that there were only TWO that made me chuckle.  This is when I realized I was in a funk.  This is when I realized that I need to get some shit off my chest before I explode.  THIS is when I realized I needed to Pour My Heart Out with Shell over at Things I Can’t Say.  It’s easy enough to link up, just click the button below.  What’s not so easy is that you MUST remember to be considerate  in your comments.  Be fair, Be Kind. 


So, lately it seems as if everything that is happening is not going in my favor.  For a while now I’ve been struggling financially.  I’ve gotten a second job only because my patient load with my primary job was cut way low.  I don’t know why this happened other than the company wanted to be able to pay a new nurse less than they were paying me.  I really was dumbfounded….

I begged my supervisor for my patients back.  I begged for new cases.  I TOLD her flat out that we were sinking and that I couldn’t continue this way. 

Nothing.  Not an “I’m sorry”, no explanation, absofuckinglutely nothing!!

The second job was more than willing to give me more hours.  Mostly on night shift.  I could not pick up too many night shifts because I had to be awake during the day for either my primary job or for the kids.  Neither of which is very fun when you are exhausted.  So, I only work at the second job when I feel I physically and emotionally can handle it.

We saw an attorney.

We followed her advice.

We won’t be back on our feet for probably 5 years.

THIS has all taken it’s toll on us.  “US” being me, my spouse, the kids….We are pretty much overwhelmed…

It seems that I am always there to do for someone else when they need something.  It seems I am always offering to help when I see that someone could use it.  Even with our financial situation, I’ve bagged and boxed up tons and tons of baby clothes and baby toys and have them ready to give to so-and-so’s friend who just had a baby and “has nothing”.  My spouse just brought two contractor sized garbage bags full of stuffed animals to the fire department for them to give out to children who are in scary situations, or who have been hurt, or who’s parents have been hurt….

We asked nothing for these things.  We are doing what we feel is in good faith….

I go above and beyond in my job, never saying no to people when they ask me to pick up a gallon of milk or pick up their prescriptions or to come over on a Saturday because they can’t figure out how to regulate their breathing treatments.  I do all this, and more….and this is free of cost….for them.

I do it because I care.  Not because I want anything in return.

The problem is, who is doing what for me??

All I wanted was a half hour to get my hair cut yesterday.  During this half hour I received 4 texts from a friend (no big deal), 4 phone calls from my daughter who was asking me to run around to different stores looking for silly bands while I was already out of the house even though it was pouring outside.   Another text came from the spouse telling me the silver Nintendo DS game was missing……

One more thing, people…just add ONE MORE THING……

Seriously?  Then the last phone call came before I put my phone on mute.  My teen asking for yet another sleep-over.  She is ALWAYS asking for something. 

I lost it.  I screamed and hollered and probably busted a few blood vessels during my rampage, but dammit!!  I have had enough! 

And, of course, I said yes.  Why wouldn’t I?  Who cares if they stay up until all hours making it difficult for anyone else in the house to relax?  No big deal, right?

The night before the teen was having a melt down because I wouldn’t watch a movie with her at 10pm.  I tried to be nice and tell her to wait until the weekend when I didn’t have to get up at 5:30am….she went on and on and ON.

Then she proceeded to tell me that I “do nothing with her”. 

THIS broke my heart.   I felt defeated….once again.


I DO everything I can with her.  I know she doesn’t get the attention she did before the two little ones came along….and I am sorry for that.  The fact remains, she is no longer an only child.

It seems that I live my every moment for everyone else.  I get a few minutes to blog….and that’s usually from my car…..seriously.  I hardly ever get quality time for me.

But am I being selfish for saying that?

Shit…I don’t get quality time with anyone.

I know the spouse feels rejected, and this makes me very upset.  We are losing our “togetherness”….hell, I think it’s already lost.  When it’s time for bed either I am exhausted or aggravated, or he’s waking from the chair and stumbling to the bed, or the Lil Lady has made herself comfortable between us, or the teen is wandering around the house thinking it’s ok to be making a midnight snack because she is starving after declining dinner because she wasn’t hungry then…..

Half the time I am in constant motion from the moment I get home until I wake the spouse from the recliner to tell him it’s time for bed.  And that is when I feel like he’s waited patiently (while sleeping as I continue to be Mom) for it to be “his turn”….And it’s at THAT moment that I don’t want to give him what he wants because I feel like it’s what I’m “supposed to do”….not what I “want to do”.  Once again it feels like I am not saying NO even though I have every RIGHT to say NO.  And when I DO manage a NO, I feel like shit.  I feel like saying, “What about ME????”

In all reality, it’s not about ME.  It’s about everyone else and what I can do for THEM. 

I seriously wouldn’t be surprised if he told me he found someone else who has the time to give him what he needs.  I would be devastated….I would want to die….I would KNOW it’s MY own damn fault.  I would feel like I should have done more for him. I would feel an amazing amount of guilt for not having been the best wife I could have or should have been.  



I should be able to do this.  I really, really should.


…how much can one person do? 

…how much can one person take day after day of giving, doing, and caring for others when this person feels like they are invisible until something is needed or wanted??

Seriously, people……HOW MUCH??

How do you all handle the demands in your life?  I don’t handle them well at all, and I feel like I am the one at fault for not being able to juggle 3 kids, a spouse, and 1 1/2 jobs…..

What is wrong with me? 

I am becoming very bitter.  I am feeling overwhelmed.  I am feeling very alone.

A while ago my sister gave me this poem that she found…..she felt it would help me.  I tucked it away somewhere in my kazillion email folders and left it there to do no good for anyone.  Today I bring it out for you…..and for ME….in hopes of finding that balance that is missing in my life. 

I want my children to grow up knowing their mom did everything she could for them.  I want them to have the strength to say “no” to things that take away from what’s most important to them.  I don’t want them feeling guilty for knowing their limits.  I don’t want them remembering how I would run to the basement to have a good cry when I couldn’t take it anymore.  I don’t want them to remember me as “the Mom that was always yelling”. 

I want them to be able to take care of themselves as well as others….

I end here with the poem.  One that I hope will show you that it’s ok to know your limits, and it’s ok to take care of yourself as you take care of others.  And THIS is something I need to learn….

The poem is written by Barbara Basser…..I can only hope to grow up to be like Angela….


When Angela was very young,
Age two to three or so,
Her mother and her father
Taught her never to say NO.

They taught her that she must agree
With everything they said,
And if she didn't, she was spanked
And sent upstairs to bed.

So Angela grew up to be
A most agreeable child
She was never angry
And she was never wild

She always shared, she always cared,
She never picked a fight,
And no matter what her parents said,
She thought that they were right.

Angela the Angel did very well in school
And, as you might imagine, she followed every rule
Her teachers said she was so well-bred,
So quiet and so good,

But how Angela felt inside
They nevery understood.
Angela had lots of friends
Who liked her for her smile

They knew she was the kind of gal
Who'd go the extra mile
And even when she had a cold,
And really needed rest,

When someone asked her if she'd help
She always answered Yes.
When Angela was thirty-three, she was a lawyer's wife.
She had a home and family, and a nice suburban life.

She had a little girl of four
And a little boy of nine,
And if someone asked her how she felt
She always answered "Fine"

But one cold night near Christmastime
When her family was in bed
She lay awake as awful thoughts went spinning through her head

She didn't know why, and she didn't know how,
But she wanted her life to end
So she begged Whoever put her here
To take her back again.

And then she heard, from deep inside,
A voice that was soft and low
It only said a single word,
And the word it said was NO

From that moment on, Angela knew
Exactly what she had to do.
Her life depended on that word,
so this is what her loved ones heard:

NO, I just don't want to
NO, I don't agree
NO, that's yours to handle
NO, that's wrong for me
NO, I wanted something else
NO, that hurt a lot!
NO, I'm tired, and NO, I'm busy, and NO, I'd rather not!

Well, her family found it shocking,
Her friends reacted with surprise
But Angela was different, you could see it in her eyes

For they've held no meek submission
Since that night three years ago
When Angela the Angel got permission to say NO.
Today Angela's a person first, then a mother and a wife.

She knows where she begins and ends,
She has a separate life.
She has talents and ambitions,
She has feelings, needs and goals.
She has money in the bank and an opinion at the polls.
And to her boy and girl she says,
"It's nice when we agree
But if you can't say NO, you'll never grow
To be all you're meant to be.
Because I know I'm sometimes wrong,
And because I love you so,
You'll always be my Angels
Even when you tell me NO"

Happy WEDNESDAY to you all!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Potty Training Post-Its

Potty training is among us full force….and I mean FULL FORCE!!  So….if you wanna just read about it “PINT” style, be my guest!  If you want to link up with some Post-Its of your own, that would also be fun!!  Link up with Supah!


We’ve been trying and trying to get Lil Lady on the pot.  She’s gone a handful of times but that is it.  She is 3 1/2 and it’s getting a bit embarrassing.  This past weekend the spouse decided to put her in her little training undies and let her pee her pants…or “piss herself” if you know the spouse!

And “piss herself” she did.  Just a few times.  It was amazing to hear her reaction.




















Little Man finally realized this was going to take longer than anticipated, and he just doesn’t have that many boogers to pick.  I guess he felt it was his turn….
















Now,  I must tell you that I told Lil Lady a million-kazillion times to let me know when she has a belly ache because I was soooooo NOT going to deal with a poop in the big girl panties.

We were downstairs, I was playing on my iPod being productive, and this is how it went down….

Lil Lady:  “My belly hurts….” 

Me:   “what??!!  Your belly hurts???”

Lil Lady:  “No, Mom, this girl’s belly hurts, not mine”  (She was playing with the Barbies) 

Me:   “are you SURE ?????”  (a little more frantic now)

Lil Lady:  “Yes, I am sure.”

A few moments later she came to me and said….


And of course, I had to dump the lump into the pot and as I did, it plopped on the floor, and on the way to the floor it hit the toilet seat….ohhhh!!  What a freakin mess just for one poop! 

I TOLD her when her belly hurt to tell me!!

So after this back and forth and back and forth between the two of them on the potty, off the potty, on the potty, off the potty, changing the wet panties, changing the poopy diaper of Little Man, and then dealing with the poop in the big girl panties….I needed a prize.








            A Lil Lady Pedicure!!

Yes, my toes are now blue and sparkly!!  Shut it….I KNOW you are jealous!

Everyone have a lovely day, and watch out for the panties that don’t hold the pee!!