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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Shit Happens

Ahhh, Post It Note Tuesday, I love you!  And Supah??  Yeah, I love you, too, for making it all possible!!

You can join Supah over at Adventures of a WannaBe SupahMommy and link up, or just read some blogs, or do nothing but browse…it’s your choice!

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For those of you who have been reading my blog, you know that I’ve been having some babysitter issues.  I am pleased to say that my tween (actually, she’s a TEEN tomorrow!!) has been doing quite well on the days that she has been babysitting.  It’s the time with the regular sitter that has been an issue.  You see, I had to cut her hours because of the inability to pay her.  At that time she told me she was planning on asking for “more money”….even after I said I couldn’t pay her what I was currently paying her.  WTF? 

When I hired her, I was pretty certain the only language she spoke was ENGLISH, so I’m not sure what part of “I can’t pay you” she didn’t quite understand. 

Anydumbass, this week alone she took off Monday for a doctor’s appointment of her own, and then Monday afternoon she called to say she wouldn’t be able to work today because she had 2 appointments for her kids.  I was dumbfounded…here she is getting pissy with me for cutting her days, and then telling me she can’t work on the days I have available for her.  I don’t understand.

So, in honor of all the people out there that think they can do whatever it is they please and that their EMPLOYERS need to bow down to them and kiss their ugly-ass feet….here’s my Post-It Notes for the week!

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I’m seriously hoping we can all move on from this and think of it as a learning experience.  I know I have learned plenty.  I’ve learned that people aren’t always what they appear to be; I’ve learned that when I have to come home early every other Wednesday so the sitter can make it to her “counseling appointment”…this is NOT a good sign, and I’ve also learned to stay outa da way when the Sicilian gets ticked off!!  I’ve also learned that I am NOT the one with the balls in this marriage….

What??  I seriously didn’t know!!

Ok, ok…yes I did, but the spouse stepped up to the plate and hit a homerun, and I’m proud of that. 

I’m proud that he stood up for his wife and family.  I’m proud that I didn’t have to twist his arm remind him that this was HIS job.  I’m proud that he took the BIOTCH bull by the horns and did what was needed.

Yep.

I’m proud to be Sicilian by marriage…..and now I feel I must

…and just move on.

How about you?  How was your day?

Friday, June 25, 2010

Confessions

Are you a church-goer?  I am not.  It’s not something that I’m proud of, it’s just that when I had my first child it became more of a chore to attend church.  I remember when my late spouse was converting to Catholicism and he asked why we are supposed to kneel when we first come into a mass.  You see, he really didn’t know that much about being a Catholic…he was Jewish. 

*Gasp!!*

No, our religious beliefs never were an issue.  And it was NOT my idea for him to convert….I swear!!

My answer to his question about kneeling when you first go into church??  “To pray, my dear.”  He asked what I prayed for.  I told him I prayed that I would be able to make it through an hour in church with our kid who was a non-stop talker, the queen of Fidgets, and one who used the bathroom as an excuse to get up every 15 minutes. 

His reply to this? 

“Oh…..me too then.”

So, instead of going to church now that I have 3 children, I choose to confess to Glamazon.  Yep…you can too.  And you will feel just as good as if you spent a grueling hour in a church with hypocrites people that don’t really like you but pretend they do when you are in the House of the Lord.

Link up!

Friday confessional

Here we go !!

  • I confess that when my soon to be teenager offered to babysit a couple times a week when she saw me crying big fat crocodile tears sweating over paying the bills, I was dumbstruck.  Was this MY kid offering her services so that I didn’t have to pay the regular babysitter so much??
  • Of COURSE this had nothing to do with her upcoming birthday, and everything to do with her growing generosity.  I confess that I believed this for about 2 seconds.  (what???  she’s gonna be a teenager!!!)
  • I confess that I think I have the cutest little boy in the whole wide world.  Seriously…when he “introduced” himself and ME to his 3 year old sister the other day….yeah….I was grinning with love for this little guy.  To hear him say to her, “Hi, I’m Man-nayyy.”  *pause*  “…and this is Mommy.”, like she had no idea who I was….I swear…this was priceless.
  • I confess that I nearly wet mySELF when my middle child peed on the potty yesterday morning.  I woke up the rest of the brood with my wailing in glee.  My near teenager was snarling at me as I shook her awake to hear the good news.  Little Man was all “Yeahhhhhhh” like he had a clue as to what just happened.  He just knew it was something quite awesome and he wanted to be a part of it.  You see…Lil lady is past the 3.5 mark…..by 2 months……she should have her shit (and pee) together by now.
  • So, doing the potty dance is tough.  It is not for us…ahem…seasoned Mom’s….I needed a bit of a muscle relaxer afterwards….

 

  • I confess that I threatened to fire the near teenager and suspend all pay even for the time she already has babysat if she crawled back under the covers one more time yesterday morning.  It was her day to be a responsible sitter and she needed to GET UP!  She said, “you have to pay me for the time I already worked…it’s the law.” 
  • Who the fuck told her??
  • We are planning a garage sale so that we can pay the mortgage have a few extra bucks.  I confess that clearing out the garage WITH the spouse is turning into a nightmare.  Have you ever tried to work side by side with someone when you aren’t on the same page??  or even the same book??  He wanted to sell the corn hole game, for Pete’s Sake!!  What IS he thinking?? 
  • The garage is in total disarray because we could not find a reasonable way of organizing the shit…..we gave up after an hour the other night.

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garage2  I have NO IDEA who all this shit belongs to….no effing idea…….

  • I confess that I think I will get alot more accomplished if I do some of the garage sale planning on my own….without interruptions….
  • I confess that I am a bit of a bitch on edge lately.  Mostly because of the financial strain we are under. 
  • I confess that I felt I was the only one capable organized enough to pay the bills, and  I wouldn’t even let the spouse touch them for more than 2 seconds at a time….but since I have thrown in the towel allowed him to be involved in bill paying, it’s been nice to know that he is also to blame when things are fucked up he is taking care of it.  What a weight off my shoulders!!
  • I confess that I will gladly rob Peter to pay Paul for a White Chocolate Mocha No Whip Please.  I have one more Tier 4 reward left which will get me a free large drink at Caribou Coffee….then I’m fucked.  Bottom line. 
  • Without my mochas I might commit murder.
  • or at least incapacitate a person a two.
  • That would be “a person or two” EACH DAY….until I get my mocha.
  • I confess that I am addicted.
  • But that’s nothing new. 
  • The Caribou worker is planning on providing stock options….just for me.  I love this place!!

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  • In an attempt to save some cash, I spent $150 on two gift certificates to a laser therapy treatment place for Quitting Smoking.  One was for the spouse, the other was for his wife that doesn’t admit to everyone that she smokes.  In fact, most people are surprise to hear that I smoke.  Are you?  Oh come on…admit it.  I am sooooo not smoker material.
  • Anyclosetsmoker…..I confess that I am a wee bit worried it won’t work.  Maybe it’s not that the laser won’t work, but maybe I won’t be able to do my part.  It worked for my brother in law….I have to keep that in mind.  I KNOW an actual real live living breathing human being that it worked for.  Right?
  • I confess that I still need to make the appointment to get lasered. 
  • That sounds freaky, no? 

  • Yes.  Yes it does.
  • I confess that I KNOW this will save us oodles of dollars immediately.  And saving these dollars will provide for my Mocha addiction. 

I’m going now to make that appointment.  If it means more mochas, then it’s only fair that I make it asap.  Don’t cha think??

So, go link up with Glamazon.  There are some awesome posts over there….it’s always fun to read what someone else confesses…makes you feel like an angel sometimes.  Go!!  What are you waiting for??

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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Who’s in Charge Here???

It’s time for What I Meant to Say with Angel and Brittany over at Not Your Average Teen….go ahead…click the button below and link up!  Or just go there and read some awesome posts!  You won’t be sorry!

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If you’ve been reading my  blog you might be under the impression that my babysitter is walking a thin line.  If you ARE under that impression, you are absolutely right.

You see, when my sitter told me last week that my 3 year old fell and scraped her knee and “acted like a drama queen” wanting to be carried in the house and the sitter refused…..telling my precious 3 year old drama queen with the bloody knee, “you know how to walk”…..

….I said, “wow, that’s a little mean….”

What I Meant to Say Was THIS:

“You lousy rat-ass SOB….that’s fucking awful to not carry my baby in the house when she is crying and has a bloody knee!  Who in their right mind WOULDN’T carry an injured child??  And for you to agree that yes, you are a “mean mean babysitter” and laugh about it…..yeah, that was pretty much the straw that I’m going to poke you in the eye with broke the camel’s back.”

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When the sitter comes in and plucks the binkie out of my 3 year old’s mouth and doesn’t bat an eye even though my daughter is about to wail…..I just look at the situation, dumbfounded.  Yes, my daughter should NOT need her binkie….she should be a big girl…..but isn’t there a better way to go about this??

What I Meant to Say instead of looking like I just got MY binkie plucked is this:

“Hey dumb ass….I’m sure you think you are an awesome sitter because you can bully get my children to do what you say, but ya know what?  Being a bully-bitch to toddlers does not make you the better caregiver.  It’s ME they want to snuggle up with, and it’s ME that they would come to if they needed love…not YOU.  You apparently think it’s cool to scare little children.  You must be high on yourself by the time you leave my house because you’ve accomplished so much….you’ve portrayed yourself as the “bigger man” …..which ain’t so cool when you are comparing yourself to toddlers.  Trust me…you are making yourself look like an ass and you are wearing your welcome thin.”

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Seriously people…..what am I supposed to do?  This sitter of mine can be very good…but it’s moments like these that just make me cringe.

When the sitter helped my oldest clean out her closet and her dressers and then had a bag of clothes for her friend’s daughter (without clearing this with me first)….and then said how MY daughter said possibly she could have this sports bag of hers for helping her…..

Well, I looked at the bags of clothes that might be sold for a little something at our up-coming garage sale but were being given to the sitter’s friend’s daughter for FREE…..and I looked at the sports bag that my daughter used for less than 2 weeks of track…a bag that cost $30 and is just about brand new….I said…”ummm….wait one second here….”

What I Meant to Say was:

“Whoaaaa Nellie!!  Back up a step or two!!  These are NOT YOUR child’s clothes to be giving away!  These are clothes I bought MY child and it’s up to ME to give these things to who I want.  I am not here for you to accumulate shit for free for yourself or for your friend’s children.  YOU need to back it up…..get a grip!!  That sports bag is brand new and cost a pretty penny….yeah, I hardly think I’m giving it to you for helping my kid get her chores done when I never asked you to help her in the first place!!  I appreciate you helping her, but did you do it for HER?  or did you do it for your FREE BENEFITS??  Bottom line…who the FUCK do you think you are???”

So, why do I keep her? 

THAT is the QUESTION of the year, my friends.  I am finding more and more reasons to NOT keep her.  She is the only one that can sway me one way or another.

All I DO know is that I am NOT going to leave my children with less than adequate caregivers.  I will not stand for it. 

I AM THE MOM!!

Dammit!!

And that is all I have to say. 

Thanks for letting me link up, ladies!!  I hope y0u all had a wonderful day!! 

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

My Birthday Dinner

Soooo….time is running out for Post-It Note Tuesday so I am going to hurry it up here!  This ought to be quite interesting considering I usually do this while I am A-L-O-N-E…..

Yes, the spouse is standing behind me, reading this, shaking my chair…

…irritating the fuck out of me…..

….and laughing…..

…quite cynically.

So, Link Up  with Supah over at Adventures of a WannaBe SupahMommy before I kill someone.

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Today was my birthday.

Yep.

Ok, ok…thank you very much. 

You can stop now.  Yes….I am another year older….well, only one DAY older than yesterday….but a year older since my 42nd birthday.  Does that make me 43?  Maybe….

…maybe  not.

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When I got home I had to pretend that I wasn’t upset with my babysitter.  Ohhhh, that’s hard to do.  But….you see, she’s really walking the a thin line lately.  I’m just trying to maintain the boundaries of employEE/employER.   

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That’s right…I am EVERYWHERE.

We went out to dinner for my birthday because there was  nothing to cook, I didn’t feel like doing dishes, and I was longing for the torture of 3 kids in a restaurant.

Dinner went without any mishaps…

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The best….the absolute BEST part of the evening was right after we paid for our meal (except for mine, of course), this sweet older lady stopped by our table.  At first I thought, oh SHI-OT!!  This can’t be good….

 

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So, all you parents out there, when you are thinking your kids are not suitable to take out in public, think again….because they are your angels….especially when out in public.  It doesn’t matter what they do at home…it’s what they do OUT THERE that counts!

 

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