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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Is My Brain Leaking?

Alrighty…it’s time to link up with one or both of the lovely sponsors below for What the Hell Wednesday and What I Meant to Say!!  Just do it…I’m not in the mood to beg!!

Blue Monkey Butt

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Ok, here’s a little history of me before I get into my story for this lovely Wednesday.  Basically, I have sinus issues.  I take Claritin D every day otherwise I can’t stay awake my nose gets stuffed up.  My doctor is aware of this and believes I am addicted to Claritin D and does not feel I should take it everyday.  I’ve asked him for something else to become addicted to to help me stay awake my sinuses but he hasn’t come up with anything yet.

I know I need to make a doc appointment because soon I will be out of the water pill that he ordered when I held him at gunpoint because I was gaining weight he felt I was retaining a little bit of fluid in my ankles.  Also, I’ve been hearing….feeling?….some crackling in my left ear.

I like my doctor, after all, I’ve worked closely with him in a nursing capacity and he “adopted” me when I couldn’t get into my previous doctor and I thought I was dying.  Turns out I just had bronchitis at that time….but ya never know, right??

That’s the thing…my sis and I have a fear of the worse….if we stub our toe, it’s BROKEN; if we have a pain somewhere, we are certain it’s a tumor, and most importantly, if we have a headache??  Yep, it’s most likely an aneurysm.  Sorry, that’s just how we think.  It’s either hereditary or the way we were raised, but at least every other day we are dying.  Go check out her blog before she kicks the bucket!!  You can find her at 2010-Year of Miracles!  Hurry!!

Anyhoozle….this is what happened to me the other day while helping the tween put dishes away because you know, she’s lived here for 12 years and still doesn’t know where they go…..

All was well, the tween wasn’t bitching about having to put the dishes away, we were laughing, joking….the spouse was not home so there was no fighting and no “life lessons” on why it’s important to know where the dishes go.  It was nice.  Until……I bent over to pick something up and I felt something dripping from my nose.  At first I thought, OH SHIT!!  I got a bloody nose!! and I grabbed my nose quickly…..
 

When I got the balls felt brave enough to look, what did I see?? 

NO BLOOD!!!!

WHAT THE HELL?????

Seriously….why was their clear…..I repeat C-L-E-A-R drops of fluid on my kitchen floor?  From. My. Nose.

WHAT THE HELL is THAT????  I DONOTHAVEARUNNYNOSE because IAMADDICTEDTOCLARITIND!!!  So, why on earth would my nose drip??  Where did it come from??  Is my BRAIN LEAKING??  OMFG!! 

Because I am a nurse, I am certain it’s cerebral spinal fluid coming out my nose.  I’m sure it has nothing to do with having sinus issues and a crackling ear for the past 3 weeks.  So, what do I do?  I call my sister, of course!!

I tell her about the fluid….the CLEAR fluid….and she says….

“Oh my fucking lord!!  I hope it’s not cerebral spinal fluid!!!”

Me: WHY WOULD YOU SAY SUCH A THING??????!!!!!

Sis: Oh shut up, you know you thought it too!!

Yep…thank you, Dear Sister, for putting my worries to rest.

Now what??  You got it, I have to call my doc for an appointment.  I call….get the answering service stating someone will be in the office at 1 pm.  I call at 1:02pm……no answer.  I call at 1:03pm…no answer.  Finally someone answers at 1:04pm.

“Dr. H’s office, how may I help you?”

Me:  I need to make an appointment for a possible leaking brain….

*****crickets*****

Seriously, I told her I  needed an apointment ASAP with the doc….that I will be running out of my water pill and I had a few “other issues” going on that I felt needed immediate attention.  She says, “ok….how about April 24th….ummmm….2pm?”

Me:  Wait….aren’t we in March??

Her:  Yes we are.

Me: Ok…if that’s the soonest you have available….



You got it…..WHAT I MEANT TO SAY was THIS:

“Listen here you secretary-without-a-brain!!  My fucking brain is leaking!!  The last time you made me wait for an appointment was when I told you I thought I was losing my fucking mind….now it’s leaking and you can’t get me in there TODAY????  I know I sound ridiculous, but can’t you have a heart and take care of me??  Didn’t I give the doc a break when he kept forgetting that he never addressed my hip pain???  Sure I did!!  I promise not to roll my eyes when he asks me to tell him yet once again what “we” did to fix my tennis elbow that he NEVER fixed.  Please have mercy on me….if I drip any more brain fluid on my kitchen floor I am seriously afraid it’s going to excite me just enough to blow this aneurysm that my sister and I are certain we both have!  At that time I will certainly be going after your ass!!”

**pause**

“What?  Oh, yes, ma’am…I can be there at 3 today….thankyouverymuch”

And that’s my story…..Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go sit down and not do any bending over….because, well….you just never know…..

Happy Wednesday everyone!!

16 comments:

That One Mom said...

Leaking spinal fluid? For realz? Who comes up with that stuff? LOL... I hope your brain stops leaking.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Please do let us know if brain can indeed leak out your nose. Some of us can't afford to lose any.

Tina said...

ROTGLMAO!!! omFg!!! Too funny!

Small Town Girl said...

We MUST be related! I have something that I'm sure in an aneurysm too! My doctor says it's probably just a spike in my blood pressure every now and then, but what does she know?!

Linda Medrano said...

I'm so glad you addressed the issue of a leaking brain. I have had numerous ailments including a "floating ovary", a "cauliflower vagina", leprosy, shankers, an abdominal blockage, mumps, and radiation sickness. None of my doctors have ever agreed with my diagnosis either. Please let us know what the doc says. I really question that brain matter is clear, but I'm just guessing since I'm not a nurse.

seriously? said...

Please please please...go lay down and don't let any more of that fluid leak out of your brain. This really does get you out of dishes and such for at least a week. Glad to see there are others out there with the same thought process as me. :)

The Reader said...

LMAO...that was the BEST post! I actually had to stop laughing long enough to type a response. You are awesome Terry! You know that EVERYONE thinks like that (but won't say it).

Now keep your head tilted back slightly so the spinal fluid remains safely inside your skull and please do let us know how the doc appt goes. :D

Kat said...

NURSES! THAT'S who comes up with that stuff! And why? Because these things are drilled into our heads and every freakin' sign is sign of God that WE. ARE. DYING!! LMAO!! Wait. Did you get an appointment?????

Stacy said...

Okay, that conversation with your sister was HILARIOUS!!!! OMG, I almost spit soda out my nose (soda, not brain fluid). I hope you aren't leaking any fluids you shouldn't! Thanks for joining us today!

Brittney said...

OMg im trying not to laugh really I am!!! leaking brain!!! :) you crack me up! But on a serious note.. I hope all is well when you go to the doc!

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

I didn't know you could leak brain fluid from your nose. I find that...disturbing. My nose used to do that (out of the blue start dripping, especially if I bent over)but stopped after I had sinus surgery. I hope you start feeling better soon.

I'm still very disturbed by the idea of my brain leaking out of my nose...

Nat said...

Ugh... doctors. Now, I'm going to try not to generalize, because I know there are great doctors, but they are so frustrating to deal with sometimes! It is such a hassle to even get an appointment in the next couple of months, let alone anytime soon. I feel ya on this.

That's funny about you and your sister. I do the same thing sometimes, but I'm not brave enough to admit it very much.

"Anyhoozle" - awesome.

WhisperingWriter said...

LOL

I'd have been freaking out too.

Frugal Vicki said...

WTF! I am all about the aneurism-no, I am not going to backspace and fix the spelling-and the tumors etc etc, but DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME THINK MY BRAIN IS LEAKING? I thought I just needed a damn tissue all of the time.
Hmm.I wonder if the test is anything like the test for checking for amniotic fluid?

Chief said...

OMG!!! that picture is totally awesome!

I know Im late <-----total loser

Thanks for playing I will do better next week

Anonymous said...

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Bella Hakkinen