Ok, here’s a little history of me before I get into my story for this lovely Wednesday. Basically, I have sinus issues. I take Claritin D every day otherwise
I know I need to make a doc appointment because soon I will be out of the water pill that he ordered when
I like my doctor, after all, I’ve worked closely with him in a nursing capacity and he “adopted” me when I couldn’t get into my previous doctor and I thought I was dying. Turns out I just had bronchitis at that time….but ya never know, right??
That’s the thing…my sis and I have a fear of the worse….if we stub our toe, it’s BROKEN; if we have a pain somewhere, we are certain it’s a tumor, and most importantly, if we have a headache?? Yep, it’s most likely an aneurysm. Sorry, that’s just how we think. It’s either hereditary or the way we were raised, but at least every other day we are dying. Go check out her blog before she kicks the bucket!! You can find her at 2010-Year of Miracles! Hurry!!
Anyhoozle….this is what happened to me the other day while helping the tween put dishes away because you know, she’s lived here for 12 years and still doesn’t know where they go…..
All was well, the tween wasn’t bitching about having to put the dishes away, we were laughing, joking….the spouse was not home so there was no fighting and no “life lessons” on why it’s important to know where the dishes go. It was nice. Until……I bent over to pick something up and I felt something dripping from my nose. At first I thought, OH SHIT!! I got a bloody nose!! and I grabbed my nose quickly…..
WHAT THE HELL?????
Seriously….why was their clear…..I repeat C-L-E-A-R drops of fluid on my kitchen floor? From. My. Nose.
WHAT THE HELL is THAT???? I DONOTHAVEARUNNYNOSE because IAMADDICTEDTOCLARITIND!!! So, why on earth would my nose drip?? Where did it come from?? Is my BRAIN LEAKING?? OMFG!!
Because I am a nurse, I am certain it’s cerebral spinal fluid coming out my nose. I’m sure it has nothing to do with having sinus issues and a crackling ear for the past 3 weeks. So, what do I do? I call my sister, of course!!
I tell her about the fluid….the CLEAR fluid….and she says….
“Oh my fucking lord!! I hope it’s not cerebral spinal fluid!!!”
Me: WHY WOULD YOU SAY SUCH A THING??????!!!!!
Sis: Oh shut up, you know you thought it too!!
Yep…thank you, Dear Sister, for putting my worries to rest.
Now what?? You got it, I have to call my doc for an appointment. I call….get the answering service stating someone will be in the office at 1 pm. I call at 1:02pm……no answer. I call at 1:03pm…no answer. Finally someone answers at 1:04pm.
“Dr. H’s office, how may I help you?”
Me: I need to make an appointment for a possible leaking brain….
Seriously, I told her I needed an apointment ASAP with the doc….that I will be running out of my water pill and I had a few “other issues” going on that I felt needed immediate attention. She says, “ok….how about April 24th….ummmm….2pm?”
Me: Wait….aren’t we in March??
Her: Yes we are.
Me: Ok…if that’s the soonest you have available….
You got it…..WHAT I MEANT TO SAY was THIS:
“Listen here you secretary-without-a-brain!! My fucking brain is leaking!! The last time you made me wait for an appointment was when I told you I thought I was losing my fucking mind….now it’s leaking and you can’t get me in there TODAY???? I know I sound ridiculous, but can’t you have a heart and take care of me?? Didn’t I give the doc a break when he kept forgetting that he never addressed my hip pain??? Sure I did!! I promise not to roll my eyes when he asks me to tell him yet once again what “we” did to fix my tennis elbow that he NEVER fixed. Please have mercy on me….if I drip any more brain fluid on my kitchen floor I am seriously afraid it’s going to excite me just enough to blow this aneurysm that my sister and I are certain we both have! At that time I will certainly be going after your ass!!”
“What? Oh, yes, ma’am…I can be there at 3 today….thankyouverymuch”
And that’s my story…..Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go sit down and not do any bending over….because, well….you just never know…..
Happy Wednesday everyone!!