Friday, March 12, 2010

Confession Time

Since I somehow forgot about missed last Friday Confessional, I think I probably have a double load of shit confessions this week.  If you feel like confessing and cleansing your soul so you may confess more next week enjoy your weekend, hop on over to Glamazon’s site and confess away for Friday Confessional.

Friday confessional

First and foremost I need to get this one off my chest….because for some reason it’s bothering me right at this very moment…..
  • bordersSometimes…not ALL the time, mind you…the tween just won’t SHUT UP!  Like for example, when we are at Border’s and I’m trying to BLOG and she is showing me every single page in this dog breeder book and every 2 seconds I have to look up at what she is showing me…..yeah….these are the times that I could just about scream!!  But I won’t scream here…at Borders…..

  • Sometimes I totally forget I’m supposed to be on a diet.
  • I often argue with myself over having yet one more white-chocolate-mocha-no-whip-please….
  • When I say “argue with myself”, I mean it literally.  You know, yelling at myself out loud, then yelling back at myself…out loud.  Pretty embarrassing for both of me.
  • I secretly wish my name was Grace, or Lila or something that sounds like it has some class….Terry just sounds so……blah.  I prefer my spouse to call me Queen.
  • I confess for screaming FUCK YOU! to the person that was honking at me to turn left when I couldn’t otherwise I would have totaled my vehicle.  Not that there is anything wrong with screaming FUCK YOU! unless there is a tween present.  Pretty sure I got bumped from first place for Mom Of  The Year…..
  • Sometimes I sneak off to bed without the spouse and insist the next morning that I DID try to wake him up from the recliner.  I swear I DID!!
  • I look in the mirror and see someone that others don’t see.  Why is that??  I wish the person I saw was the one that my sister saw last Saturday…you know the one….the one that she feels doesn’t need to lose any weight.  Yes, that would be the one I would like to see.  Unfortunately, I see someone that needs to lose a ton of poundage.  Sad….so sad.
  • I’m confessing early for beating the crap out of my BFF’s spouse for not going to the ER when he was told…for an infection in his knee….What’s wrong with these men???  Suck it up and GO!!
  • Sometimes I stare out into space and see…..nothing.  Abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING!!  Does that mean I need therapy of some sort?
  • I think my brain has stopped leaking for now although I confess that I am still worried about the spinal fluid that was on my kitchen floor…..I wonder if I should have obtained a sample for the doc….
  • I confess to getting a little uptight when my shoe stuck to the carpeting at my patient’s home.  I probably shouldn’t have said, “WHAT THE FUCK??”  and I probably shouldn’t have gagged when I walked in the bedroom, and most certainly could have held back the groan when I opened the microwave to warm up my coffee.  But….seriously….this man has a HOMEMAKER!!!  That means his HOME should be MADE!!
  • I also confess to to sort of shoving a little too hard removing a patient’s flea-infested cat off my coat.  I could have been a bit more gentle.  And when one of the other 12 cats attached it’s front claws to my thigh??  Yeah, I probably could have gently scolded it instead of giving it a swirlie ride in the commode. 
Forgive me, Glamazon, so I may have a peaceful weekend!! 
And happy happy weekend to everyone!!   I will be back next week….yeah, I say this because I know how my weekends go…my poor little laptop sits there begging me to come on over…yet I can only get so close before I am detoured to break up a toddler fight or to help the tween read the directions on a box of mac-n-cheese…or to show the spouse where the broom is…for the kazillionth time…..yeah, my weekends are pretty much shot.  So…as I was saying, enjoy YOURS and I’ll be back on Monday!!


Lolee said...

I am glad that I found your blog! Your confessions are so much more festive than mine! I am going to have to step it up!

Everyone needs therapy. I could talk for two years about my mother alone. The sad thing is that I AM a therapist, but I haven't had much success with therapizing myself:)

I <3 gender nuetral names. (my mom is a Terry) never know what will show up in your mail..Mr. Terry.. or Mrs. makes every day an adventure!

Linda Medrano said...

Terry, you are a sinner extrordinaire! I am so impressed with your sins! Mine are not nearly as fun as yours! And by the way, I'm so glad about the cessation of the brain leaking! Thank goodness! Have a great weekend!

Kat said...

And I will miss you! And YOU ARE beautiful :) Just the way you are. You look fantastic. I am aiming MY diet so I can end up looking like you do right now. I would be OH SO PLEASED. Truly. :)

Kellyansapansa said...

Oh my, what fun sins you have committed!

Have a great weekend :o)

Dual Mom said...

I too am glad to hear you are no longer leaking spinal fluid.

I told Kat the other day that she's insane - I think it may run in your family. It totally rocks, by the way. Sane people are totally boring.

Frugal Vicki said...

HA! Okay, I will admit to maybe saying "MOVE WOMAN!" maybe one to many times, and now whenever my son hears a horn honk he says the same thing. oops

She woke up FAT said...

OMG,that was good read.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Cracking up over the cat swirlie. My mom has a cat that I would love to clean the toilet with.

Brittney said...

Lol these are soo funny! I would have been the same way as far as yelling FUck you.. I do it all the time. OOps!!!

Ewww I dont like cats.. 12 of em.. yea they would have all been accidentally let outside.

gayle said...

Hope you have a great weekend!!

The Reader said...

Great post Terry, really enjoyed it! Have a great weekend! :D

Nicky said...

I confess that my toddler now says "shit" for me when I drop something.

I'm not Catholic. Is this the part where you tell me how many Bloody Mary's I need to be absolved?

Ginger said...

Love those confessions! I often wish that I could see myself through someone else's eyes.

And if screaming FUCK YOU! disqualifies you from winning 'Mom of the Year', I will be joining you in the losers circle!

Small Town Girl said...

I gave you an air high-five over the recliner confession. I do that ALL the time. LOVE IT!

Glamazon said...

Love your confessional! Of course you are forgiven-it is as easy as that. Dieting bites the BIG ONE, I am hating hating hating it. But I think I may hate my cellulite more. We can hang in there, right?

Tell the tween you need some quiet time.