Ok….I Have. Had. It. Yep….I need to regroup, once again, and figure out what the hell I’m trying to accomplish with my weight-loss goal. You all may be aware of the Lose it Bitches challenge. If not, go on over here and check it out unless you are a Skinny Bitch, then you might not be welcome….sorry for that, but those of us trying to be Skinny Bitches do not like you.
You see, I have been fighting with the same 5 pounds for weeks….not that I only have 5 pounds to lose, but it’s the same 5 pounds that I keep losing and gaining…day after day after fucking DAY!! Is this normal?? Can I just double up on my water pill?? Why on God’s green earth did the FDA ban Ephedra??? huh??? I could use some of that right now!!
I’ve been exercising…yes I have!! I bought the Just Dance game for the Wii and I love it! I’ve been at least doing it 3 times a week. That is GOOD for me. The way I see it is that any increase in exercise should show some weight loss….don’t you agree? Am I asking for a miracle here? No, just asking for my bitch of a scale to cooperate already!! I’ve done well with the Just Dance….just so you know. But not well enough to join Shell over at Things I Can’t Say in her contest, sorry Shell!
You see, my problems is that I…..well……ok, I can’t dance!!! Ahhhhhahahahahaha!! No, seriously….I tried….but to video tape myself?? Ummmm…I think not…..well, not until the scale cooperates!
That’s where my isssue is….I can NOT stand the way I look! My spouse says I’m beautiful and that I have a warped sense of self. This is probably true, but how does one fix that? I look in the mirror and I see THIS:
In my eyes, yes….it IS that bad.
Yesterday I was reading this post over at Can You Throw Up Your Life? It was written quite well….the gist of the post was that possibly when a person continues to fail at their weight-loss goals, it’s because they WANT to be miserable. I can so relate to this, but the part that got me was when she was talking about squeezing an ass that is size 16 or 18 (or larger) into size 14 jeans….and from that point on all I could think about was that I had to leave the house in an hour and I would have to put on JEANS!!! No SHIT!! This sucks!! I wear comfy scrubs to work….and as soon as I get home I put on my oversized flannel pants….yeah….spouse must be ohhhh so turned on at all times.
So…where do I go from here?? Do I continue to fail at this?? I seriously don’t know….
I just know that I am tired of seeing that fat lady look at me from the mirror and just *SIGH* in defeat…..I am seriously tired of her, period.
So…Lose It Bitches…I have not given up…..and I am NOT giving up….I’m just going to continue fighting those fucking pounds into submission. I will come out on top, you can bet on it!! It might take me until I’m 80, but I’ll be a Skinny OLD Bitch and be proud of it but look what I’ll be able to do!!