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Friday, February 26, 2010

Forgive Me…

It’s time to suck it up and confess those weekly sins to Glamazon over at Glamazon Mormon Mom.  I know what you are thinking….what on earth would I have to confess?  I know…I am the nearest thing to a saint that you have stumbled upon for a long time, but we all have our secrets.  We all have those things that we say, or don’t say, or WANT to say….or things that we actually DO…..those things that maybe if we didn’t confess to, they might eat us up inside.  So, link on up and you will feel so much better after doing so!!  (Yes, you may thank me now for sending you to Glamazon)

Friday confessional
  • So,  first of all, I probably should confess that I am sitting in my newly found coffee shop watching the snow fall outside when I really should be working.  (shhhhhhhhh)
  • I have a three year old that thinks she has a princess ass and won’t sit on the potty.  No bribing, threatening or beatings have helped.  I’m feeling like a bad mom.
  • Sometimes I get the heebie-geebies when anyone touches me.  You know, when you are stressed and people are in your space??  When toddlers are literally attacking you and the the tween is gabbing a mile a minute and the spouse leans in for a kiss….I confess that at that moment I am thinking “what the fuck do YOU want????”
  • I seriously love my spouse despite all the times he pisses me off.  Without him I might not have very much blog fodder.  Just sayin…
  • I totally dropped the ball on my diet…errr…lifestyle change this week.  I thought I was doing well but when the scale barked that I was up 5 pounds I smashed the fucker into a kazillion pieces and now I need a new one.  From that moment on I have felt powerless over my weight. (and ashamed that my anger-management classes went to waste)
  • No….I am NOT “pregos” dear BFF!!  We’ve already established that my doc tied my tubes and he has a 99% success rate with that….so from this point on, the word “pregos” has been taken out of commission…forever.
  • I probably should confess for wanting to say “holy fucking monkey balls” when speaking to the tween.  Afterall, a 12 year old is quite impressionable and that would have been a very bad thing for her to learn.  I can see her repeating it the next time she gets a “lunch detention” for using up all her bathroom passes in one class and still needs to go…just one more time….
  • Sometimes when I say I have “cramps” I am just in the bathroom playing Bejeweled Blitz on my iPod.  And when the tween says, “I have to GO NOW!!” , I still make her wait until I’ve obtained the highest score.
  • Most people describe me as calm, sweet, relaxed…they say I have it all together all the time.  I confess that if they were a fly on the wall in my house they would be totally frightened for their lives.  Yes, it can get THAT bad.
  • When the spouse let me walk out of my tween’s band concert with the toddlers because they were acting up, and he stayed in there and enjoyed the concert….yeah, I pretty much wanted to whack him
  • I confess that sometimes I need my bloggy friends more than anything else….sometimes nothing can get me in a better mood more than sitting in a quiet coffee shop and reading the blogs that I follow!!  And I thank you all for coming back and reading my ramblings…..
Needless to say, this has been another hectic week with potty-training failure, diet failure, toddler craziness, and everything else that goes with being mom-wife-maid….So, I’m going to stop here…..

You go....I'll just stay here and rest my head for a little bit.......





Thank you once again, Glamazon, for I feel cleansed, refreshed…..like a huge weight has been lifted….and I’m ready to sin again start over and confess again next week be the best I can be!!  Bless you!!

24 comments:

Kiera said...

3 cheers to all of the above. i wanted to comment on the very first one, then the second ,third, ... but i forget each individual one and am too lazy. so HERE HERE!

Kat said...

Amen! And I don't know about you with the potty training...but she will be four in September...maybe you need to figure out something really big that she wants, and promise it to her if she goes potty on the potty for one month. She is smart enough to understand that if you cross the days off on the calendar...

BigSis said...

My son was almost 4 when I finally got him potty trained. I seriously was worried about sending him to kindergarten in diapers!

mrs.messi said...

Sounds like a crazy week! I'm dreading that potty training stuff!

Tina said...
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Oka said...

OH man, I would be scared to have a fly on the wall. things are the same way here, and nobody knows it.

GregoryJ said...

You are just the funniest, Terry. I luv coming here. Linda has made you an idol for Hairy Fucking Monkey Balls. I tried to immolate you and she shot me down.[legitimately, because her grand kids read her blog and i didn't know]
Are all these things true?
I tell Kat that I never want to get on her bad side. I'm adding you to that list.

Tina said...
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Homesick Cajun said...

God I remember potty training! Nothing worked, until I told him that big boys go on the potty and that if he still wearing diapers by his birthday then he couldn't have a "big boy" party. He was potty trained within the month! Lol...cruel? Maybe! Did it work? Yes!

Glamazon said...

Seriously, potty training is the worst. And sometimes I just want EVERYONE to quit touching me all the time. I'm holding a baby, the kids are pawing at me, seriously, ENOUGH!

you are hilarious! Thanks for playing!

Tina said...

I have 1 comment... just 1.... pregos!!!! :)

Tina said...
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Linda Medrano said...

Greg has confused your Holy Monkey with my Hairy Muffins I see. I need to take a look at Glamazon. It would probably be good for my soul to unburden! Dont' worry about potty training. My daughter used the little potty when she was three then promptly emptied the pot on the floor when she was finished. Keep 'em in diapers till they are 11 or so. It's easier that way. (By the time they are 10, they can change their own.)

Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

Oh, you make me laugh! Thanks so much, I needed it so badly!! Good luck with the potty training, I'll send prayers!!

So Over Fat said...

Two words: Spa Day. If anyone deserves it, you do. You're probably up five because your stress is up five more.

Slurkin' Stasha said...

I have moments where I don't want anyone touching me either... It's like, get outta my bubble or I'll MAKE you get outta my bubble...

Tina said...
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Tina said...
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Tina said...

Now I need to be your bloggy friend too or else you won't need me?? Oh the pressure!!!

Brittney said...

Great stuff!!! I love reading your blog!

WhisperingWriter said...

My daughter will be 3 on March 19th and refuses to use the potty too. I beg. I bribe. I do dances. She doesn't care. She loves sporting a diaper. What can I say?

Kat said...

I came back...nice three columns!! :)

Lisa said...

Just so you are not alone. The idea of just one more person in my space demanding my attention or touching can really set me off.....Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Ms. B, Ms. B, Ms. B. ENOUGHT ALREADY...

Also, remember your hubby can't read minds. Next time, tell him, Honey, I promised Tween I would be here. I really appreciate the fact that you will take the little ones out for a walk so I can keep my promise. I know he should know better, but he's a man & they don't. Next time, just ask!

Hang in there and your bloggy buddies are here for you.

gayle said...

I just love this!! It was my life many years ago!!! Believe me she will get potty trained...she sounds like she is just trying to be the boss...I agree with Kat..my daughter also tried a weekly reward with stickers...but I am sure you have tried all that. She will come around and probably sooner than you think.

Hope this week is better but then what would you have to write about!!