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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

What I Meant to Say to Sears

Alrighty...post #2 for the day because I just can't resist playing What I Meant To Say Wednesdays with Chief over at Hiding from the Kids!  Click below to link up and play along!!

So, this week I had an absurd interesting conversation with Sears about my current bill.  I tried to tell them that when they increased my rate I was quite upset.  They said, "I am so sorry".
 
Then when I told them that with the increase in rate and the decrease in limit, my monthly minimum due was too much for me to handle because most of my payment was going toward the finance charges.  Again, they said, "I am sorry".

I thought we were gettting somewhere since they were "so sorry".  I was wrong.  The man said there was nothing he could do for me.  The minimum amount was due on the 17th.  Period.  I was getting irate yet trying to stay calm.  I told him I kept my Sears card because they have always been good to me.  He said..."I am sorry this is happening to you."  Oh yeah...he was sorry alright.  If he wasn't yet sorry, he was sure gonna be.

He finally said, "How about if I connect you to someone who could maybe explain why we can't do anything at this time?"  Sure, that was just peachy.  "But," he said...."before I do that, would you be interested in our payment protection plan that includes us waiving your payments for 6 months to a year of you becoming disabled or hospitalized or out of work?  The cost would be $0.99 for each $100 of your balance.....the payment would be added to your balance so it wouldn’t be a separate bill…."
Aaaaaaaaand.....THIS is where I lost it!!


 
I said, "What did you just say??"

What I meant to say was THIS:

"What the fuck are you talking about??  Are you fucking serious??  I am trying to NOT pay as much on my bill yet you offer me a scam program that will up my balance causing my minimum to go up???  The minimum that I cannot currently pay?  What fucking planet are you from??  Do you have even one goddamn freakin brain cell in that head of yours?  Did they train you to be this ridiculously stupid or does it come naturally for you??”

****deep breath…trying to be calm…****

“So, no, SIR, I am not interested in your fucking payment protection plan, your credit scam plan or any other fucking plan you may offer unless it helps me to either NOT have to pay you another fucking cent, OR it causes you so much physical ailment that you need months of rehab at the place where I have to work a second job on nightshift in order to pay my bills in the first place!! “



“Because, MISTERASSMONKEY, if you were MY patient???  Yeah, you'd be oh so very sorry you ever uttered the words "payment-protection-plan" in my case.  So, if you are done with your barrel of bullshit you are handing me, I would like to talk to your supervisor and get this matter straight.”

****just wait….not done yet****but feeling so much better already****

“If your supervisor is not as helpful as I think he needs to be, you can kiss your lovely job good-bye and call your fucking creditors so they can tell YOU how sorry THEY are for your fucking hardship!!  Maybe THEY will offer YOU the payment-fucking-protection-plan due to your new-onset disability!!  Ya never know!!  So……Fuck you very much and have a nice day.  Oh, and thank you kindly for NOT helping me on this glorious day!!"

Wow…thank you, Chief, for this opportunity!!  You totally rock!  If others haven’t been to her blog yet…hop on over, you won’t be sorry!

Have a day filled with assmonkeys that give you reason to play What I Meant To Say Wednesday next week  sunshine!!

11 comments:

CRAZYMOM said...

ugh! Creditors suck!

suzicate said...

Do you feel better?! Oh, if we could only say what we really want to sometimes! Sounds like the credit departments is about as good as their automotive department. I had some work done there once and they pulled the sterring wheel off and expected me to drive away like that. When I told them they said they didn't do it! Yeah like I drove my car there like that or even knew how to get it off if I tried....they fixed it but swore they didn't do it!!!!!!

VandyJ said...

So not a fan of Sears. I'll go anywhere else to shop but there.

Brittney said...

LOL!!! Im glad you feel better now!! See when im dealing with people like that i actually blow up & say stupid shit and they dont try to help me at all after that.. actually i get hung up on a lot. haha! maybe i should save it for WIMTSW...

Mommy is in the Bathroom said...

The funniest part is that he probably would have been reprimanded by his boss for not following the script and asking you if u wanted that... they;re paid to repeat, not think

Hope they work with you!!!

mrs.messi said...

Hey - I found your blog through "The Breathing Post" and am now following :)

Homesick Cajun said...

Lol...what an idiot!!

WhisperingWriter said...

I'd be ticked too. I'd have said he could take his sorry and shove it up his arse.

Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

They've got SO much nerve, don't they? This makes my blood boil! Sorry you're having to deal with this, but glad you were able to come here and vent!!

Hope it gets better soon!!

Slurkin' Stasha said...

UGH! Sorry that you're having to deal with the customer service idiots... Hope things get better for you!

gayle said...

Well what did the manager say?? To bad you couldn't say everything you felt!!