I love Wednesdays first of all because of the relation to “humping”, and secondly because I get to say WHAT I MEANT TO SAY with Chief over at Hiding from the Kids !!
You can too!! Just link up and play along!
When the tween stood in the kitchen and said in her whiney morning voice, “I don’t evennnn have a snaaaaack for the buuuuuuuuus!!”, I said, “wow, tone it down a bit….”
What I meant to say: “What the fuck is your problem?? Who on earth do you think you are?? You get up late, you whine the entire time, you mosey on in the bathroom and sit up on the sink top like it’s your jeezus throne and do your hair and make up as if you have all the time in the fucking world. Then you come out here and whine some more about not being able to find your glasses….and having too many things to carry…and you need to know what’s in your lunch since you aren’t willing to pack the fucker yourself….and THEN whine about not having a snack for the freakin bus???? HOW OLD ARE YOU??????? Shove a BINKIE in it already!!!”
When the Caribou gal asked how I liked the cappuccino with toasted marshmallow flavoring that she helped me concoct this morning in an attempt to lower the calorie count of what I like to drink, I said….”Ehhh, it was…..ummm….weird…..”
What I meant to say was: “Good God Lady, it was disgusting!! It tasted like some hairy rat crawled into your espresso machine and laid down the law in there or something. It was putrid, and bitter, and had not one hint of a marshmallow taste….whether toasted or not!! WTF did you really put in there?? In my opinion, the fewer calories tasted like ape shit…so, give me my white chocolate mocha no whip please….thankyouverymuch….and we’ll call it a learning experience on both our parts!”
When my BFF agreed to babysit so the spouse and I could go out and get a few things done, and she asked…”for how long?” , I said, “indefinitely”. Ohhhhhhh yes I did!! And I meant to say each and every word!!
She, of course, badgered me into giving her a time that we would be home. We are actually just going shoe shopping for some good walking shoes.
I really do need new shoes….mine look like THIS….
Ok…not really, but they look like THIS:
And I really just want new shoes !
Anyshoes…the BFF apparently thinks that I take a long time when I shop because she was a little concerned. I reminded her WHO I was shopping with, for Pete’s sake!! How much time can I spend shopping for shoes with the spouse?? Oh wait…he’s the one that has to weigh the pros and cons of EVERYTHING!! And THEN he has to determine which buy is best for the old pocketbook….yep, this might take a while!!
Thank the heavens above for my BFF!!
So, here’s to BFF’s, new shoes and What I Meant to Say Wednesdays!!