It’s time to link up with Glamazon over at Glamazon Mormon Mom and confess your sins….or not….you decide!
So, my main confession of the week is that I am totally undecided about anything. I think maybe I have so much on my agenda that I don’t know where to begin. Should I get the plastic eggs and put candy in them for an egg hunt for the short people? or not? Should I just do the egg hunt or should I also make up Easter baskets? Should I color the Easter Eggs or just leave them white?? Whaaat? They are pretty when white!!
All week I’ve been undecided as to what patient to see first. Which direction would be best? Or could I just skip some and get paid for it anyways?? (That would be ideal!!)
Should I take the little ones out to play or should I stay inside? If I stay in, they will be beating the crap out of each other. If I take them outside I spend most of my time chasing Little Man because he doesn’t know yet to stay out of the street. And Little Lady is always saying, “My Mom!! My Mom!! Look!!” but I can’t look because then Little Man gets away from me….
I confess that I got so befuddled when trying to figure out what to make for dinner that I totally lost track and never fed the children. No wonder they were still up at 11pm and cranky as all get out!!
I confess that I nearly beat the crap out of the tween that wouldn’t get out of bed for school…but I faltered, I waivered….I couldn’t decided how hard to hit, what part of her body I should connect with….and so I didn’t beat her. But I’m pretty sure I would have felt a little better if I had.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we had some toll free number that we could call to get the answers to these questions? Sort of like Information 411…..but step it up a little bit. We wouldn’t have to decide anything for ourselves!!
I confess that I put a little too much thought into this idea of a toll free number….
I wasted alot of time on this….
Then as I was sitting there trying to decide who could be the person at the other end of the line when someone would call with a question……I was diligently taking notes…..
….and I saw this red ball in the tub of bath toys. I picked it up….it looked like a freakin meatball!! What?? Yeah….it WAS a meatball. On one side it has a pic of the iCarly gang….I’m thinking this THING came from a McDonald’s happy meal or something…not that WE get McDonald’s happy meals at OUR home….but you know, like someone gave it (the meatball…not the happy meal) to one of my children.
I said to myself, “Self…is this a fucking meatball??” I pressed the button on the side of it and THIS is what I heard….
Holy Fucking Monkey Balls!! Are you kidding me??
Ok, now what are the odds of this?? Me…looking for something/someone to answer my simple questions because I don’t have a freakin bit of decision-making-skills and THIS MEATBALL showing up out of the blue?? Seriously…is this a sign….or what??
I confess that I was quite thrilled with this meatball. I have found the answer to my prayers!! I don’t have to be the adult anymore and make all the decisions!! This is so fucking awesome!
I ask if I should cook dinner and the Meatball says NO!!
I ask if we should eat out and the Meatball says YES!!
I ask if I have to feed the kids too and the Meatball says NO!
(I’m liking Mr. Meatball!)
I ask if I have to go into work tonight and the Meatball says NO!
I thought I would try some personal ego stroking here….
I ask if I’m fat and the Meatball says NO. (awesome!)
I ask if I’m a good mother and the Meatball says YES!
Right about now I’m in love with the Meatball.
I ask if he will marry me…..this Meatball…this lovely, lovely Meatball…
This is what I get….
Apparently the Meatball is undecided….
That’s ok, I feel better just knowing that I have someone/something to help answer my questions when I’m stuck. And I don’t have to marry the fucking Meatball….I’ve got my own!! (My own spouse, I mean….of course….not my own meatball).
Go ahead….link up with Glamazon!! Confess away…or not. And Have a Great Weekend….or not. Shit…still undecided…..