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Friday, April 2, 2010

Undecided on my Confessions

It’s time to link up with Glamazon over at Glamazon Mormon Mom and confess your sins….or not….you decide!

Friday confessional

So, my main confession of the week is that I am totally undecided about anything.  I think maybe I have so much on my agenda that I don’t know where to begin.  Should I get the plastic eggs and put candy in them for an egg hunt for the short people?  or not?  Should I just do the egg hunt or should I also make up Easter baskets?  Should I color the Easter Eggs or just leave them white??  Whaaat?  They are pretty when white!! 

All week I’ve been undecided as to what patient to see first.  Which direction would be best?  Or could I just skip some and get paid for it anyways??  (That would be ideal!!) 

Should I take the little ones out to play or should I stay inside?  If I stay in, they will be beating the crap out of each other.  If I take them outside I spend most of my time chasing Little Man because he doesn’t know yet to stay out of the street.  And Little Lady is always saying, “My Mom!!  My Mom!!  Look!!” but I can’t look because then Little Man gets away from me….

I confess that I got so befuddled when trying to figure out what to make for dinner that I totally lost track and never fed the children.  No wonder they were still up at 11pm and cranky as all get out!!

I confess that I nearly beat the crap out of the tween that wouldn’t get out of bed for school…but I faltered, I waivered….I couldn’t decided how hard to hit, what part of her body I should connect with….and so I didn’t beat her.  But I’m pretty sure I would have felt a little better if I had.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we had some toll free number  that we could call to get the answers to these questions?  Sort of like Information 411…..but step it up a little bit.   We wouldn’t have to decide anything for ourselves!! 

I confess that I put a little too much thought  into this idea of a toll free number….

I wasted alot of time on this….

Then as I was sitting there trying to decide who could be the person at the other end of the line when someone would call with a question……I was diligently taking notes…..

….and I saw this red ball in the tub of bath toys.  I picked it up….it looked like a freakin meatball!!  What??  Yeah….it WAS a meatball.  On one side it has a pic of the iCarly gang….I’m thinking this THING came from a McDonald’s happy meal or something…not that WE get McDonald’s happy meals at OUR home….but you know, like someone gave it (the meatball…not the happy meal) to one of my children.

I said to myself, “Self…is this a fucking meatball??”  I pressed the button on the side of it and THIS is what I heard….

Holy Fucking Monkey Balls!!  Are you kidding me??

Ok, now what are the odds of this??  Me…looking for something/someone to answer my simple questions because I don’t have a freakin bit of decision-making-skills and THIS MEATBALL showing up out of the blue??  Seriously…is this a sign….or what?? 

I confess that I was quite thrilled with this meatball.  I have found the answer to my prayers!!  I don’t have to be the adult anymore and make all the decisions!!  This is so fucking awesome!

I ask if I should cook dinner and the Meatball says NO!!

I ask if we should eat out and the Meatball says YES!!

I ask if I have to feed the kids too and the Meatball says NO!

(I’m liking Mr. Meatball!)

I ask if I have to go into work tonight and the Meatball says NO!

I thought I would try some personal ego stroking here….

I ask if I’m fat and the Meatball says NO.  (awesome!)

I ask if I’m a good mother and the Meatball says YES!

Right about now I’m in love with the Meatball. 

I ask if he will marry me…..this Meatball…this lovely, lovely Meatball…

This is what I get….

Apparently the Meatball is undecided….

That’s ok, I feel better just knowing that I have someone/something to help answer my questions when I’m stuck.  And I don’t have to marry the fucking Meatball….I’ve got my own!!  (My own spouse, I mean….of course….not my own meatball).

Go ahead….link up with Glamazon!!  Confess away…or not.  And Have a Great Weekend….or not.  Shit…still undecided…..

14 comments:

Linda Medrano said...

Terry, I want one of those meatballs too!

Brittney said...

Bahahaha i Sooooo know the episode of Icarly the talking meat ball is from... it wasnt so nice to Spencer (Carleys brother) LMAO yes iM a big kid and while im reading this all I can picture is that episode.. sad huh!

Dual Mom said...

You know I've been looking for a way to earn some extra cash...1-900numbers is out because that's just trashy. But I could totally rock making decisions for someone else!!!

Glad you and the meatball have found true love!! Happy Easter!

Elizabeth said...

Hahaha! Awesome meatball.

Frugal Vicki said...

I totally get indecision...but WHITE!! And where do I get me a meatball

Stasha said...

ROFLMFAO!

My daughter has a Magic Meatball... She drives me crazy with it... LOL

Pam said...

BWAHAHA! I love the magic meatball! :D

Lisa said...

That is just the Millenium's answer to the Magic 8 Ball..which in my humble opinion is way more sophisticated. :)

You make me laugh, however, if you don't start confessing some seriously juicy stuff, then I am gonna hack into your blog and write something that would make cheap porn stars blush. :)

Just saying, Lisa

Kat said...

YOU have lost your MIND! Did you find THAT in the tub toys??? Put it back inside your head when you do!! LMAO This is freakin' hysterical!!!

Linda Medrano said...

Terry, Happy Easter to you and yours, Honey! xoox

sammy said...

haha my kiddos are responsible for me knowing that episode as well.


your blog is hilarious and im now following. thank you for the comments about my fam. my daughters got all "squeal-ly" and embarrassed.

im still trying to figure out who your sister is though??

sammy said...

nevermind i got it now. just scrolled down a few posts and figured it out.

Glamazon said...

Grr. My 21-month-old takes of for who knows where if I don't watch her ever stinking second outside of our home. and hahaha, I totally need a meatball, too. That doesn't sound right, but oh well.

Thanks for playing!

Tina said...

Terry too funny!!! Where do you come up with this stuff??