Confessions I Own

Oh wow…the weeks fly by.  I confess on Fridays and feel great.  Then I fuck up all week….only so I can confess again!  Geesh!  The cycle is getting old!!  But, once again, I link up to confess….Why don’t you??

I confess….

Last night, when the tween and the spouse were fighting about freakin’ Barbies…..something about the tween insisting they still belonged to her, when Lil Lady has been playing with them for months…yet the tween decided she once again liked Barbies…..and the fight went on and on as I was trying to take a relaxing bath….yep, I pretty much wanted to exit out the bathroom window and not come back for a very long time.  

 

 

Seriously…..BARBIES????!!!!

 

Also last night when Lil Lady agreed to fall asleep in her OWN bed as long as I read a story, I was so pleased that the spouse and I wouldn’t have this 30 pound lump between us in our bed. 

Then I was just as disgruntled after I read the book to her, told her I’d be right back to check on her, yet when I came back she was gone…..Only to be found in MY BED!!  WTF people??  I need a break.

I seriously want to run off with or without the spouse.  The kids need to stay home.

I’m sure they can take care of themselves.  They can change each other’s diapers…and if not, maybe they will be potty trained when we get home.

They can eat pretzels and pasta (I’ll make sure it’s made in advance….wouldn’t want a toddler using the stove while we are gone).

The Little Man knows how to open the fridge and get a yogurt out.  I hope the tween will open it for him when he asks.  I can’t expect too much from the Little Man…he’s only 2.

The Little Lady will keep the tween in line, I’m sure of it.  After all, she’s like 30 years old in that little 3 year old body.

I confess that I don’t care who knows I want to leave my dysfunctional children alone while I go lay on a beach somewhere with some Jamaican serving me frozen drinks with little umbrellas in them.

I confess also that I blame the “other parties involved” for the dysfunctionalism of the the children.  There is no WAY they get this behavior from ME!

I’ve had a lot of thoughts about wine and medication this week.

 

 

I think that thought alone is telling me I need a break.

I just might partake in the wine and meds this weekend.

I want to send the tween to some sort of school that teaches her how to wake up in the morning and how to go to sleep at night.  A school like that exists, yes??  Please say yes…..

I bought yet another pair of cheater reading glasses.

That makes three pairs.

I still can’t see well.

I’m getting old.

I would seriously like my vacation before I’m too old to enjoy it.

 

 

I also confess that even though my children make me crazy and they make me want to pull every last hair out of my head on a daily basis, I love them, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Well, maybe that last statement was a lie.  I certainly would like my same children, but I would like them to not destroy the house, and go to bed on time, and NOT sleep in MY bed, and not squeeze their juice boxes on the dining room floor, and NOT throw tantrums over fucking BARBIES!!!!  Yes, I want PERFECT children….is that asking too much?????  I want them to look like THIS:

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Oh…..wait….they DO look like that!!  Damn…..

Cute, eh??

Yes, I am blessed……

I confess that I often forget that part of it, the blessing part.  So I need to keep that in check now and then or I seriously might crawl out that bathroom window the next time!!

Have a great WEEKEND!!!