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Sunday, October 3, 2010

Welcome To My World

Ok, people....I've been saying for a while that my house is out of control.  Not only the people that reside here, but the entire PLACE is out of control.  Ever since Little Man came around it seems I can't keep up.  I clean and I pick up toys and I do the laundry and I put the clothes away only to have more laundry that very same day.  I help the teen pick up her room and I try to keep up with what the spouse doesn't put away....

.....bottom line.....

It's never ever ending!!!


I KNEW it was out of control, but last Friday my Sis was nice enough to babysit, and she reminded me that it's NOT ALL MY FAULT.  You can see here that she's got my back.  We both would like to know..

WHO HAS DONE THIS TO MY HOUSE??

Seriously....I look around and I see what could be the makings of a brand new episode of "Hoarders".  I've tried to tell the spouse this as I notice him stack yet another thing up high.  He stacks mostly because he is moving the shit out of the reach of the toddlers.  But, come on...if it has to be moved out of reach of the little ones, how about it we find it a new home permanently??  And not have stacks and stacks of shit all over the place? 

Exhibit A



Exhibit B



Let's do it again.....

Exhibit A



Exhibit B



Ok, now...Just so you know, either Exhibit A or Exhibit B are pics of MY fucking mess.  The other pics were taken from the web....more specifically, they were taken from the homes of HOARDERS!! 

This is quite scary.

This is insane!!

In my defense, I CAN clean.  I CAN pick up certain areas and make them look nice.  The problem is KEEPING the areas that way.  I clean it up, I walk away, and when I come back it's like I never touched it!!  How the hell does this happen??

Yes, I've had talks with the persons here that can comprehend that I am losing my mind, and when the talk is over I feel like I've at least gotten them to understand where I'm coming from. 

Then....

This.....



Stacking....at it's finest....


I GET IT that Little Man likes to beat the shit out of people and objects with the Lincoln Logs, so why stack 'em up where he can't reach 'em??  Why not throw the fuckers away????  Or put them in a closet out of sight where I had them in the first place??

You see...I CAN clean....



And then 10 minutes later...


It's not rocket science...

As my Sis said over on her blog, my home has been a "daycare" for the past 4 years (since Lilli came along).  My nephew's wife is the current sitter.  I KNOW it's hard to watch all three toddlers (one of them is hers), but I also KNOW it can be done without the house looking like a tornado has gone through it while I was at work.  I'm not certain how she watches them...I know she keeps them safe, but I'm thinking that is her goal, and if  no one is bleeding or being rushed to the ER with a broken bone, then I think she feels her job is done. 

Yes, I like nice things.  And I like things to look nice. 
For example:



Yet, when I come home to find THIS on the floor underneath my NICE thing....



Well, you can see why I get disturbed!  Yes, that is a window blind.  Happens to be from the kids' room where the all three little ones AND the puppy were jumping on the bed.  Lilli admitted to pulling the string too hard as they were jumping, and off it came....

WTF??  How come they were allowed to all be jumping in there in the first place?  I don't allow that!!  In fact, I've beaten asses for that!!

One time I came home from work, the sitter just about ran out the door.  I thought, "wow, must have been a bad day!!"  Then I looked at what normally looks like this:



And THIS is what I saw:



Seriously??

Here's something that may or may not surprise you, our bathroom has turned into the "smoking room".  I can live with this, hell, I even participate in such behavior!  But...and I repeat...BUT...I DO NOT flick anywhere BUT in the ashtray.  The spouse?  Yeah....he has issues....



Why you gotta flick in the sink, my Man??  Huh???  Is this necessary?  Are you showing me I can't tell you where to flick??  Huh?  are ya??  Well...let me tell you, Mister....

Flick THIS!!


                                                                        I apologize for this public display of marital bliss.


Come on, people....can't I get a break?  My sister was right....I am really a  neat freak, and I normally have a nice clean home.  Not that there is dirt, just stuff, and stuff and even more stuff.  My shelves that I'm certain used to look like this:

Well, close enough...
Now they look like this (this pic has not been altered in any way, I promise you that):



Huh...well, not horrible, I guess....maybe my mind is warped a bit and I see things as really bad when maybe they are just slightly crowded.

As I'm sitting here blogging, the spouse throws a few things down the steps and says, "Here's a few things to file away, one of them may look a bit familiar."  I hear thump, thump, WHACK...as the "things" bounce down the steps. 



Oh, niiiice, real NIIIIICE, Spouse!!  For Pete's Sake, why you gotta remind me of the wooden puzzle ordeal??  Why?  Why do you mock me so??

In all fairness, I do try to warn people before they come in that the house may not be up to code, and I hope they can understand that it's NOT MY FAULT....



Yes, this is hanging on my front door.  What more can I say??

I hope you all had a great weekend!! 










5 comments:

JKP said...

I feel your pain! It's the same around here, but my kids are teens. I want to ask, "Do you need all those cups by the computer? Are you expecting the ceiling to leak so you're strategically placing them to catch the drips?"

A part of me hopes all the stacking is for some brilliant physics experiment that will win one of them the Nobel Prize.

Rebecca said...

You poor thing! I'd be going nuts! Husband is a paper and "empty box in case we ever need to return it" hoarder...drives me insane!!!

Pam (The Reader) said...

I can relate. I have four girls and it's like pulling teeth to get them to help. When I travel, it is my husband's responsibility to oversee chores to ensure things don't get out of control. It seems his idea of "doing" chores and mine are slightly different (as in I expect them done daily and he doesn't). I even left a short list with detail on how exactly these chores should be done to eliminate confusion (yes, I actually do expect the person in charge of the bathroom to actually wipe the sink clean). I mean really, the chores are not major (10mins work after school) and I have to clean everything else...is it too much to ask to have a bit of help around here?

I still keep fighting the good fight to maintain order, but I've accepted that my house will never truly be clean until the children are off in the world no longer leaving their stuff lying around. Then the problem will be that I'll miss them. So I try not to obsess about the mess too much. :D

Hmm...where do I get one of those signs for my front door. LOL!

Kat said...

If it is ANY consolation, when I lived in that house on Westwood, the boys had the family room and their bedrooms. I used to point the family room out and say "The boys do that," while the rest of the house was clean. And I guess at least you don't have dad over there telling you (and your neighbors) what a pig you are...he actually feels bad for YOU - LOL!

gayle said...

I know how you feel!! My husband will not go through his mail until I get fed up and blow up!! It drives me crazy!! He just keep stacking it and stacking it on our bar!!