Friday, October 22, 2010

The Real Me….

Ok, on Friday’s I usually confess my sins of the week to Glamazon, but apparently she’s off having leg transplants or something like that.  She’s certain she’s going to have model-like legs afterwards, so let’s just let her dream, k??  Oh, and if you want to wish her some good luck with that, hop on over to her place and do just that!  You can find her here, at Glamazon!!

So, instead, I’m gonna tell you about the real me.  Ohhh, you can stifle the groans now, it’s not appreciated.  Thank you kindly.

Jen over at Denton Sanatorium asked if anyone wanted to show their “Real Me”….if you want to, you can link up over at her place.  I think we are supposed to post a pic of ourselves, so beware!  Jen’s looks awesome…mine?  Probably not so awesome, but I yam who I yam, ya know?  Go ahead, link up if you’d like!

(Did you ever “save picture as” and then when you go to retrieve it, you can’t find the fucking thing?  Yep…I just did that, twice…so, if you want to link up with Jen, just click on the link above!  Damn.)

First of all…this is me…take it or leave it….




Oh come ONNNNN!!  I’m kidding!! 

That’s my brother!!

Seriously….THIS is me…



I’m sorry…I’d be looking through 4 years of pics if were to post one of the entire me…that is probably the last time I let anyone take a pic of more than my face.  Oh, and I no longer have pretty nails because I don’t have the time or the money….shit, being a Mom is hard work, isn’t it??

I have body image issues.  My spouse doesn’t understand why.  Well, why would he?  He’s a man!  They don’t seem to complain about gaining 10 or even 20 pounds…they laugh it off.  Ohhh…to be a man!!

My middle child is 4.  Before her I was hot!   No…not really.  But I felt much better about myself. 

Then came Little Man…he’s 2 1/2.  Still haven’t gotten back to where I was 4 years ago.  Maybe because I had THIS for lunch?




AND I brought THESE with me just in case I didn’t consume enough fat, carbs and sodium.




If it makes any difference, I drank a Diet Coke. 

You’re right…it doesn’t matter.  I really need to get control of what I eat.  Jen over at the Denton Sanatorium confessed that she bought a People magazine…well, I bought a Women’s World one just the other day because the lady on the cover lost tons of weight, and in this issue, she was going to share her secret.  What was her secret?? 

Cut down on your calories….eat less than what you put out….Oh wow….did she just figure this out??  I think we ALL know that….but do we do it??  Not me….

I’m destined to be fat.

Each morning I have good intentions of eating right.  I have my coffee before anything else.  From the moment I walk out of the bathroom, all good intentions are down the drain.  First because I have to spend at least 20 minutes getting the Teen to wake up.  Secondly, I have to chase around the 4 year old and the 2 1/2 year old AND the puppy.  Yes…this sweet Cali….




I nearly beat her ass when I saw THIS….




But then I remembered I bought THIS….




…and it works!!  Take THAT you furry-faced bastard!!

So, after chasing them all around and corralling them into one room so I can get their shoes on….the kids, not the puppy….we venture on out to the babysitter’s.  This is only after about 20 more minutes of consoling Lil Lady that I promise to come pick her up after work.  Geeesh!!  Does she really think I won’t??  Yeah, ok….so I scream and holler all the time that I can’t take anymore….and that I’ve had enough….and that….well…she should KNOW I love her, right?? 

This has been a big problem since starting the new sitter.  The last one was coming to the house, and I think the only reason Lil Lady is crying about going is that she doesn’t want to leave her house, her toys, her potty….her puppy…..

It just makes it so difficult because seriously…I don’t WANT to work, I HAVE to!!  I tried to tell her if I didn’t work we’d have to live out of Mommy’s car because we wouldn’t have a house….this only made her more sad….and me too!

My car….it’s not the cleanest it can be.  In my defense, I WORK out of my car.  I EAT in my car.  I SPILL white chocolate mochas in my car routinely.  I think my car has always had a tendency to have that “used” look, but in the past, before 3 kids, I had the time to clean it out.  Now I only have time to dispose of the white chocolate mocha cups…and I only do that to make room for the next round.

White Chocolate Mochas (no whip because I’m watching what I consume)….they are my favorite.  I think they are the reason for the financial issues we have.  I’m sorry, Dear Spouse….I’m an addict.


IMG00134-20101022-1433 In the trash….


IMG00135-20101022-1433 Stacked in the garage…


IMG00136-20101022-1433 In my car…


What?  The clear cup with the straw?  Yeah, that’s my ice water.  I get one with the mocha because I truly believe the ice water dilutes the calories and also allows them to slide off my hips….(yes, I figured THAT out, but I’m not on the cover of no magazine….)

Funny, I actually Googled “coffee addict” to look for a pic.  Little did I know I had my OWN pics!!  Wow….

…I think I need an intervention.

No I don’t, this IS the real ME….take it or leave it.

Happy Friday!!

Thank you, Jen, for letting me link up!


Lourie said...

My car is rarely clean. It's got a collection of diet coke cans right now. And yes, the diet coke totally counter acts the other calories!! :P

jen said...

Loved this post! I'm your newest follower. I'll be back for another dose.
And have you tried the white cheddar cheez-its? I canNOT leave them alone. They are awesome.
And thanks for telling me I look great.
I don't have the nails though.