Wednesday, September 29, 2010

What I Meant To Say-But Didn’t

It’s time to link up and play!!  What I Meant To Say Wednesday!!

Ohhh….wait!!  My bad!!  Nobody is hosting WIMTS Wednesdays anymore.  Well, I say…”WHAAAAT?”


Ah, who the hell cares, I’m playing anyways and I’ll be happy to play by myself!  You can click the button below, but you will go no-where. 


First of all, my current babysitter is wanting to NOT be the babysitter anymore.  It’s ok….I can handle this, right?  It’s not like we just fired our prior sitter a few short months ago or anything crazy like that.  Certainly the spouse can pull another sitter out of his ass we can figure this out…..


We have visited two daycares…..the first one, Kindercare, was very organized, clean, the staff were pleasant, the kids were somewhat quiet…..the curriculum (yes, there is a curriculum in daycare, I did not know this) sounded fun for each age group, and the cost??  Well, the cost was equal to our fucking mortgage!!  Yes, that would be the mortgage that we currently are past due on…..

So, when the director called and asked if I had made up my mind yet, and what was I waiting for I said, “Um….”  when what I meant to say was:

“You are fucking out of your mind!  $430 a week is more than my mortgage if you figure it out for the month!  Who makes this kind of money??  Have I won the lottery?  No…not the last I checked, so Yeah…not sure my poor children will be mingling with the hoity toity babies you have there at your daycare/preschool.  I’m going to continue to raise them like the hoodlums they are my way…you know, no fucking structure, hitting each other, yelling fucking obscenities at the neighbors….Huh?  what??  No, of course I don’t know where they have picked up their potty mouths from you crazy-ass bitch with your 8 karat diamond wedding ring!!  Thank you, and have a nice day.”

The second daycare was a local one.  Not a big chain.  We visited in the afternoon and it must have been “freetime” outside because what we observed was similar to this:

The one nice girl said, “We like to let them express themselves…”  I said…”Oh…..”  What I meant to say is, “You DO bathe them afterwards, yes??”

The children inside were securely monitored, so I didn’t see a problem there….



I also noticed a couple of the little ones playing house…..



Sweet, huh?

I asked the assistant director what happens to the bad kids…you know, the one’s that hit, or bite, or draw on the walls…??  I was shown this room:



Okay, okay…..this isn’t all true, but I swear, through the eyes of a mother who is scared to death to let go and let someone else watch her babies….THIS is how ALL daycares LOOK!!

So, do I work a couple more shifts on the weekends so that I can afford a second mortgage Kindercare?? 

Do I quit my job and lose my house and all my assets forcing the fam to become homeless become a stay at home Mom?? 

I haven’t done anything at this point.  I carry the enrollment paperwork with me everywhere I go thinking I might actually fill it out and allow my kids to be watched by some person I don’t know….who may not remember that my little Lilli has a milk protein allergy, and may not understand when Lilli does a slight pee-pee dance that means she really has to pee and they have like 3 seconds to get her there….or when my Little 2 1/2 year old Man says, “ahhhhh, Dammit!!”, he means “ahhhhh Dammit!!” and they better get the fuck out of his way….

It’s scary…

Raising three kids-a teen with ADD and two toddlers…it’s taken it’s toll on me.  My entire body hurts, my brain is fried…..I am fatter than I’ve ever been in my entire life (not-pregnant).  I hardly get any sleep.  Need I go on??

This past week I checked my teen’s progress book for her assignments and grades.  Grades aren’t horrible.  Missing assignments???  Yeah, there was plenty!! 

What I said, “Umm….dear Teen, I thought you said your homework was done…?”

What I meant to say, “WTF Teenager???”

I have to step back a bit and remember she has ADD.  Yes….this is true.  What I don’t get is that when I asked her if her homework was done, she said yes.  Then it came up “missing”.  Then she doesn’t remember if she did it or not.  And if she remembers that she did it, she doesn’t remember if she turned it in.  And if she remembers she did it AND turned it in, she doesn’t know if her name was on it.


I have ONE question for her at the moment…..


I emailed all her teachers.  I explained her ADD and how I’ve never involved the school up until now.  Now she is in 8th grade, and if she can’t get it together without assistance, well, we are just gonna have to suck the system dry get her the help she deserves.

This is all so stressful.  I spend way too much time with her trying to keep her on track, and then the toddlers are lacking the attention they deserve. 

I just want a break.

I just need to take a few steps back and think.

I need to remember the reason I’m here, and also remember that my wonderful children did not ASK to be here.


Basically, I’m burning the candle at both ends, and I’m pretty damn close to losing my mind, and this is why I just laughed at the spouse when he came in from taking the sweet little Cali out to pee and I asked if she went. 

Spouse; “Um no, she dragged me back inside, why?”

Me:  “Cuz”

cali pee

That would be my rug, people….

…and this would be the spouse looking at the sweet Cali in such a threatening way…..

Sept 2010 045

And this would be the sweet Cali…..

Sept 2010 048

See how she pays attention when spoken to??

This crazy-ass puppy has the spouse wrapped around her little paw.  Seriously, he’s the one that LET her drag him back in!!  I sit out there and make sure she pees or does some sort of bodily function before I let her back in.  This doesn’t mean she hasn’t peed in the house on MY watch, but when it happens to the spouse…well, it’s just hysterical.

So, this morning when I had Cali outside for 15 minutes waiting for her to take a dump, and she didn’t….I brought her back in, locked her in the kitchen WITH me while I did the dishes so I knew she would not dump elsewhere in the house (I’m so smart)….when I turned around and saw this:



What COULD I say????

I took the fucker outside, despite the sweet shit-sentiment and she ignored me….I mean SERIOUSLY ignored me….




I just kept my mouth shut….but what I really meant to say was this:

“Hey Fucker!!  Yeah you with the big black nose, floppy ears, and razor-like teeth!!  Get a clue already!!  My house smells like puppy piss, I find my socks outside, the children’s toys are all chewed up, and the teen’s make-up comes up missing at least twice a day!!  You need to knock it the fuck off before I take your sweet puppy neck and give you the muther-clucking choke hold!!  Furthermore….if you think just because I’ve taught you how to give me a high five and I think it’s the cutest thing evahh, that doesn’t mean you have a permanant place in this house!  Only in my heart… sweet fucker……”

Yes, I would have caved in because she would have been looking at me horrified with those puppy eyes.

I’m such a wuss when it comes to animals….

Happy Wednesday everyone! 


Lourie said...

I hope you can find the daycare that works best for you. Kindercare is crazy expensive.

Kat said...

Please don't send them to Kindercare. They don't belong there! More money is NOT more better. Do you want them structured and tied down like little young soldiers, or do you want them to run and play and have some fun? Besides, you shouldn't have to work anymore extra than you already DO! Enuf said there!

passionofthemom said...

Holy fuckballs, $430 A WEEK??!?!?! Those bitches must be smoking crack on their lunch breaks!! That's more than I would pay for a MONTH!! Surely there has to be some other explanation for that kind of mindless highway robbery...good freaking god! I'm really enjoying the fact that you are holding on to WITMS!! I wish I hadn't missed the boat on it this week myself. =) Also, loved the letter to the puppy!! LMAO Sheer genius!

Rebecca said...

I so love this. I think YOU should host WIMTSW (is that too many letters? IDK).

$430 is ridiculous.

Dogs...who needs them?

Hoodlums...we don't have enough of them in our world. Good for you!

Jaymi said...

WIMTS.....Stinkin' Chief!! Good luck with daycare! Love reading your blog.