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Friday, June 25, 2010

Confessions

Are you a church-goer?  I am not.  It’s not something that I’m proud of, it’s just that when I had my first child it became more of a chore to attend church.  I remember when my late spouse was converting to Catholicism and he asked why we are supposed to kneel when we first come into a mass.  You see, he really didn’t know that much about being a Catholic…he was Jewish. 

*Gasp!!*

No, our religious beliefs never were an issue.  And it was NOT my idea for him to convert….I swear!!

My answer to his question about kneeling when you first go into church??  “To pray, my dear.”  He asked what I prayed for.  I told him I prayed that I would be able to make it through an hour in church with our kid who was a non-stop talker, the queen of Fidgets, and one who used the bathroom as an excuse to get up every 15 minutes. 

His reply to this? 

“Oh…..me too then.”

So, instead of going to church now that I have 3 children, I choose to confess to Glamazon.  Yep…you can too.  And you will feel just as good as if you spent a grueling hour in a church with hypocrites people that don’t really like you but pretend they do when you are in the House of the Lord.

Link up!

Friday confessional

Here we go !!

  • I confess that when my soon to be teenager offered to babysit a couple times a week when she saw me crying big fat crocodile tears sweating over paying the bills, I was dumbstruck.  Was this MY kid offering her services so that I didn’t have to pay the regular babysitter so much??
  • Of COURSE this had nothing to do with her upcoming birthday, and everything to do with her growing generosity.  I confess that I believed this for about 2 seconds.  (what???  she’s gonna be a teenager!!!)
  • I confess that I think I have the cutest little boy in the whole wide world.  Seriously…when he “introduced” himself and ME to his 3 year old sister the other day….yeah….I was grinning with love for this little guy.  To hear him say to her, “Hi, I’m Man-nayyy.”  *pause*  “…and this is Mommy.”, like she had no idea who I was….I swear…this was priceless.
  • I confess that I nearly wet mySELF when my middle child peed on the potty yesterday morning.  I woke up the rest of the brood with my wailing in glee.  My near teenager was snarling at me as I shook her awake to hear the good news.  Little Man was all “Yeahhhhhhh” like he had a clue as to what just happened.  He just knew it was something quite awesome and he wanted to be a part of it.  You see…Lil lady is past the 3.5 mark…..by 2 months……she should have her shit (and pee) together by now.
  • So, doing the potty dance is tough.  It is not for us…ahem…seasoned Mom’s….I needed a bit of a muscle relaxer afterwards….

 

  • I confess that I threatened to fire the near teenager and suspend all pay even for the time she already has babysat if she crawled back under the covers one more time yesterday morning.  It was her day to be a responsible sitter and she needed to GET UP!  She said, “you have to pay me for the time I already worked…it’s the law.” 
  • Who the fuck told her??
  • We are planning a garage sale so that we can pay the mortgage have a few extra bucks.  I confess that clearing out the garage WITH the spouse is turning into a nightmare.  Have you ever tried to work side by side with someone when you aren’t on the same page??  or even the same book??  He wanted to sell the corn hole game, for Pete’s Sake!!  What IS he thinking?? 
  • The garage is in total disarray because we could not find a reasonable way of organizing the shit…..we gave up after an hour the other night.

garage1

garage2  I have NO IDEA who all this shit belongs to….no effing idea…….

  • I confess that I think I will get alot more accomplished if I do some of the garage sale planning on my own….without interruptions….
  • I confess that I am a bit of a bitch on edge lately.  Mostly because of the financial strain we are under. 
  • I confess that I felt I was the only one capable organized enough to pay the bills, and  I wouldn’t even let the spouse touch them for more than 2 seconds at a time….but since I have thrown in the towel allowed him to be involved in bill paying, it’s been nice to know that he is also to blame when things are fucked up he is taking care of it.  What a weight off my shoulders!!
  • I confess that I will gladly rob Peter to pay Paul for a White Chocolate Mocha No Whip Please.  I have one more Tier 4 reward left which will get me a free large drink at Caribou Coffee….then I’m fucked.  Bottom line. 
  • Without my mochas I might commit murder.
  • or at least incapacitate a person a two.
  • That would be “a person or two” EACH DAY….until I get my mocha.
  • I confess that I am addicted.
  • But that’s nothing new. 
  • The Caribou worker is planning on providing stock options….just for me.  I love this place!!

caribou1

caribou2 

  • In an attempt to save some cash, I spent $150 on two gift certificates to a laser therapy treatment place for Quitting Smoking.  One was for the spouse, the other was for his wife that doesn’t admit to everyone that she smokes.  In fact, most people are surprise to hear that I smoke.  Are you?  Oh come on…admit it.  I am sooooo not smoker material.
  • Anyclosetsmoker…..I confess that I am a wee bit worried it won’t work.  Maybe it’s not that the laser won’t work, but maybe I won’t be able to do my part.  It worked for my brother in law….I have to keep that in mind.  I KNOW an actual real live living breathing human being that it worked for.  Right?
  • I confess that I still need to make the appointment to get lasered. 
  • That sounds freaky, no? 

  • Yes.  Yes it does.
  • I confess that I KNOW this will save us oodles of dollars immediately.  And saving these dollars will provide for my Mocha addiction. 

I’m going now to make that appointment.  If it means more mochas, then it’s only fair that I make it asap.  Don’t cha think??

So, go link up with Glamazon.  There are some awesome posts over there….it’s always fun to read what someone else confesses…makes you feel like an angel sometimes.  Go!!  What are you waiting for??

nun confession

10 comments:

Shell said...

I never heard of the laser thing. I hope that it works!

singedwingangel said...

I have never heard of the laser thign either.. and I admit I could no longer do the potty dance.

Dual Mom said...

Raising hand and admitting that I too am a closet smoker.

Lydia @ On The Verge said...

I am so with you on the bill paying. I still haven't learned to let hubby help. It would be nice to share the blame and stress with him though!

Lydia

Sara said...

Good luck with the new teenager! :)

Visiting from Friday Confessional!

Linda Medrano said...

I am a lot more likely to be doing the potty dance than I am the money dance these days! Laser? For smoking? Say what? What do they laser? Your pack of smokes?

Lourie said...

Is their laser treatment for chocolate?

Real Dads Hangout said...

I am a smoker and I like it!!! It is one of 2 things I truly enjoy in life, the other being coffee. However I have been buying them online from Native American reservations for yrs which saves me a lot of $ (big mistake cause I smoke more) but now the USPS won't ship tobacco products as of 6-29 (FedEx and UPS stopped a long time ago)! I cannot afford the $7+ per pack at the stores.

With that I say make an appointment for me too please. Damn...being broke is now affecting my smoking...shit!

Fab Find Foodie said...

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Glamazon said...

hahaha, I love that we can just confess and not go to church. Someone tell my husband, will ya? I'm sorry, money problems are the WORST. Grrr. I hope your laser works-and no, I never would have pegged you as a smoker :)