Friday, June 4, 2010

Confessions-Do Unto Others

So, I’ve been doing some thinking.  I see people everywhere….in the stores, within my own family, and also at the homes where I sit and shoot the shit with old people do my best at being a compassionate nurse.  I’ve been watching people….well, “couples” actually.  I am envious of some because they look like  this:

(This is really not a pic of my patients…I found these lovelies on Google…aren’t they cute??)

My lovely couple OOZES affection for each other.  It is most endearing to see how they help each other with the simplest of things….from carrying one’s coffee to the table for them because they need to keep both hands on their walker,  to holding one’s arm gently to provide that much needed feeling of safety as they hobble their way from one room to another.

But not every couple I see is perfect.  I visit one couple that looks like THIS:

(This is also not really a pic of my patients…. found these lovelies on Google, too….yikes!)

Seriously, sometimes the tension in this particular couple’s home is so thick I can’t even get through the front door.  I’ve even witnessed the wife spitting at her spouse!!  Yes!!  I said SPITTING!!

I see couples out in the stores and I overhear them arguing.  It sounds silly to me, but then again, I am probably guilty of the same thing.  I see husbands disregard their elderly, although still beautiful, wives just so they can flirt with the young whipper-snapper of a cashier for 2 minutes.  I hear wives demean their spouses for flirting with their nurse taking an interest in a younger woman…..This is quite awkward if you are the “younger woman”.  Just sayin…..

I think of my own marriage and wonder what we will be like in 20 years.  And this is where my Friday Confessions come in.  Thank you Glamazon for giving me this opportunity once again to cleanse my soul for the week!

Friday confessional 

I confess….

  • I do worry about where my husband and I will be in 20 years.
  • If  we have compassion now, will we still have it in 20 years?
  • If we don’t have it now, will it miraculously appear when we reach the ripe old age of 80?
  • I confess that currently I don’t have much compassion to give other than what I give to my patients.
  • I really am not nice when I should be.
  • But when someone is not nice to me, I let it sit and fester for a while.
  • Then I fight back.
  • And I can be quite a bitch.
  • I try to practice what I preach.  You know, “do unto others as you would have done to you”….or “if you can’t say something nice then don’t say it at all”.
  • I have a hard time with “two wrongs don’t make a right”.
  • Because when someone says or does something to me without thinking how it will make me feel….well, the bitch in me wants so badly to retaliate.
  • I fight with myself…Should I?  shouldn’t I?  But he did THIS or THAT….no, be nice!!  Don’t do it!!  You are better than that!!  TWO WRONGS DON’T MAKE A RIGHT, DAMMIT!
  • I confess that people that don’t think before they act or speak really piss me off.
  • I work very hard at trying NOT to hurt someone’s feelings.  In that respect I am too NICE.
  • I expect the same treatment.  DO UNTO OTHERS, PEOPLE!!!!
  • It’s the simple things that matter.
  • Ask my old people.
  • If the husband of the angry couple I mentioned above would only carry the damn bitch of a wife’s coffee for her, maybe she wouldn’t have spit on him!
  • Live and learn.
  • Last of all, I confess that I nearly went ballistic when I was told something that didn’t need to be spoken out loud.  I was hurt….I was amazed at the audacity of the person that said it….even though I don’t believe it was said to upset me….no, I KNOW it wasn’t said to upset me….but the bottom line??  It was better left unsaid.  And I will not repeat it here….or there….or anywhere…..
  • I will do unto others…..

What makes couples last a lifetime?  What makes them last a lifetime yet go on belittling each other?  Especially in their early years when the problems they have are minute compared to what is to come in the later years….what makes couples “work” or “not work”??

Perhaps we all need to take a good look at what we have and work on it a little bit harder if need be.  Perhaps we all need to go back to the basics…..Do Unto Others…..Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right….(unless you’re a bitch like me)….

Seriously…life is a gift, your family is a gift, your children are gifts, and so is YOUR SPOUSE…’s not a GIVEN that they will be there tomorrow so we need to treat them the best we can while we have them.  It’s NOT rocket science…..

……or IS it??

I wish you all a wonderful weekend!  Enjoy the ones you love!


Rebecca said...

Marriage is so hard, but I feel like I earned my husband, so I'm going to do my best not to screw it up. We all have our downtimes and our boring-life times, but all in all, life can be very good if you do unto it!

BigSis said...

My parents are celebrating their 42nd anniversary this summer. They are such a great model of the give and take of marriage. Well, most of the time anyway :)

Glamazon said...

Interesting confessional! So, do you think the lovey couple has always been that way, or do you think that in their first years of marriage maybe she spit at him? Same thing with the fighters, have they always fought, or maybe was there a time when they treated each other with tenderness? Sigh. Marriage is such a process...I know that for us, in the beginning it was just so difficult. I'm sure if I wasn't such a timid little thing I totally would have spit at him. But now? We are pretty sweet and thoughtful toward each other. I think it is because we are both so overwhelmed by the kid situation :)

I'm sorry someone hurt your feelings. Just because it wasn't intended to hurt doesn't mean that people shouldn't think before they speak.

Thanks for playing!

Mr. Stupid said...

That was a lot of confessing. I have come across the first kind of couples in many places. Its nice to see them help each other with the smallest things.
And then there are the second kind. I once found a couple at the Grocery Store yelling at each other for forgetting an item!

Have a good day...:)

Pam (The Reader) said...

She SPIT on her husband! Wow, that's what I call "should have gotten marriage counselling about 20 years ago" behavior.
Sorry to hear about the "unsaid" thing that was said and shouldn't have been. Sorry to hear they hurt your feelings like that. Some people need a filter (or at least an arbitrator) implanted between their brain and their mouth. Just sayin.
Have a GREAT weekend!

WeaselMomma said...

Love and friendship are what I believe make the long term difference.

Lourie said...

Gees! I think I would have run away screaming if I saw someone spit on someone. I don't want to be spat on.

You are right, it is so hard to be the better person. I have those inner battles too.

Kat said...

Ohhh very nicely said :) Bravo!

Anonymous said...

That was an awful lot of confessing my dear! Good post!

Linda Medrano said...

I never expected to be married to anybody for 20 years. Yeah, it's surprising but it's even better now that we have ironed out the big stuff, and reconciled the small stuff, and ignore the socks on the floor next to the hamper. (Oh wait, that's me, not him. I mean wait! He ignores them and I don't throw the ax at his head anymore. Ain't love grand?)