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I haven’t done this MEME for a while, but as I was checking email this morning (no, I’m not that important, it’s just what I do as I attempt to open my eyes and focus) I realized that I don’t get many emails worth reading. I usually just delete, delete, delete but when I saw THIS….
….I immediately thought WHAT THE HELL?? Then I thought of Elle and Stacy over at Blue Monkey Butt. Then I thought I better link up with them for What the Hell Wednesdays. Then, last but not least, I thought….when the HELL did I get a hip replacement??????
Link up and have fun!
Seriously, people?? How on earth would I get an email from the “Hip Recall Claim Center”??? Ok, fine, I complain at least 15 bazillion times a day that my hip doesn’t work like it should…but….it’s MY hip!! It’s not an artificial hip!! If I could file a claim for MY hip, I’d be filing it with the Man Upstairs, right? And I’m not talking about my spouse in the recliner, or Little Man that is pulling the puppy by her tail…I’m talking about God here….Yes, THAT Man Upstairs. Do you think He would offer a recall??
Next….
Serious WHAT THE HELL at this moment….Come ON, I really don’t want to be reminded of the weight I need to lose. Especially at 5 fucking 30 in the morning!!
Then…
Can we get serious here?? First of all I’m told I can file a claim and recall my aching hip, then I’m told to shed the fat and get fit, and now someone is saying I need to try this electronic cigarette because I shouldn’t be smoking the real bad boys??
WHAT THE HELL??
Can’t I just be who I am?? And who am I??
A fat, forty-ish limping nurse that smokes…..Yes, I have habits.
WHAT OF IT???
Oh, Dr. Oz…..don’t look at me like you KNOW….I should have never Googled your ass….
I also received a couple emails from the iTunes Store telling me my teen is helping herself to my iTunes bucks with the receipts from the Teen’s recent purchases. Gonna kick her ass one of these days….
Also one email from an acquaintance that told me I had to forward the “Wish from God” to 10 friends or else I’ll wake up naked in the middle of the mall or something equally insane. First of all, I don’t have 10 friends. Secondly, I can’t forward these because they freak me out. I don’t read them either because, well, they freak me out!!
I also received emails from Borders, Bath & Body Works and Direct TV.
No REAL people….not a one. But….apparently if I get bored with my spouse and my crazy life, I can meet people here:
Because obviously when you put on Facebook that you are married, they don’t CARE!! They send you these emails at least 3 times a day!
WHAT THE FUCKING HELL, FACEBOOK???
That is all. I’m off my soapbox now….and if you care, what the hell?? Shoot me an email!! Or just leave a comment.
HAPPY WEDNESDAY!!
3 comments:
I could use shedding fat to get fit. Of course, if I spent less time reading email I would probably be more fit. Your photo of Dr. Oz looks like he is judging me. Make him stop judging me! I don't get a lot of emails from real people either and when I do, they usually want something.
I will email you sweetie.. I get a ton of those as well and it gets frustrating.. Now I get a lot of mail from people wanting to find out about the product I am selling ( which I love btw or I wouldnt be selling it) AND from the company and from squidoo.. and I am like seriously people there is just 1 of me.. and good grief I have to omany crying kittens in here want one??
I admit I'm not a smoker so maybe I don't get it, but...what good is an e-cigarette?
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