Here we go…..
Every Monday I can expect a text from my spouse around 4pm which is shortly after I get home from work and the “short people” are off their toddler rockers and the tween is begging to go to a friend’s to do
“may i stop?”
If you don’t know, he’s asking to stop for a beer after work. The timing of this text message….well….there’s no other way to say it….the timing SUCKS the big wad of Bazooka and I return the text with…..
“do what you want”
But we all know that is not what I really mean to say, right? After all, that’s what this post is about, thank you again for permission to speak this, Chief!!
What I really want to say in reply to this text that comes on a regular basis is:
No!!! You cannot stop for a beer, not today, not tomorrow, not ever again!! Why???? Because you are married to Wifezilla and you took part in making 2 out of 3 of these effing monstrosities we call our children! So, you will forget about ever having any fun after work at a bar with your friends. You will come home right after work the same way I do and just deal with it, you I-only-care-about-myself piece of grass!!!!
Regardless, it doesn’t matter what I would say, he would still “stop for one”. After all, this is the man that has compared his hour or so of “guy time” at the bar to my hour or so of grocery shopping which I get to do once a week also.
What are we to do with you??
(sidenote: we really do have a good marriage, don’t let me give you the wrong idea. And like I said, if he tries to tell you this is all a lie, NOD YOUR HEAD and MOVE ON. )