Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Alrighty then….I’m feeling just a teensy-weensy bit like a failure!!!  Yeah….I can NOT seem to get my act together with the Lose It Bitches challenge.  Why?  Shit…I can give you several reasons, but are they legitimate??  Probably not…most likely they are my attempt at justifying why I haven’t exercised….or why I ate what I did…..This week I believe there was no progress on the scale..not sure because I threw it out the window…, so sorry….
So, why have I failed to stay on track??  I could say it’s because of my children…causing me stress…but no, that’s not fair.  I truly need to just let some other stuff go (laundry, taking out the trash, feeding the kids maybe….) and just do what I have to do!  Seriously, I won’t stop feeding my kids, it was just an example.  Bottom line….. I need to take the time…..
I’m having a big issue with exercising…I just can’t seem to get my fat ass down the steps to the basement and just DO IT!!  I feel like my spouse is thinking “sure, there you go again….leaving me to watch the kids”.  Whether or not this is true, it’s in my head that he’s feeling like I am shirking my responsibilities.  Am I?  Just because I want to take care of me for about 45 minutes?? 
I swear, I get dressed every morning and I (wait, I have to re-attach my kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk….to the key board….2010 016 Thank you Little Man…)
What was I saying??  Oh yeah, I get dressed every morning and say WHAT?!!  When the hell did my waist go on a little vacay…..???  Seriously, it’s gone….and I must have back  fat too because damn, I am so uncomfortable in my clothes!!  All Dayyyy Long I think about what I must look like.  It’s horrible!! 

Therefore, I am requesting a do-over…you know what I mean, right?  Sure you do!!  I’m gonna rewind and get back to where I was motivated.  This is my plan, once again….
  • I need to write down everything I eat, and I mean everything!!  Even the chicken fingers that I might steal from Little Man cuz we know he shouldn’t eat 12…right??
  • I’m going to exercise, dammit!  I am going to look the spouse right in the eye and say, “For Pete’s sake, you can handle it for 45 minutes!!  I know you can!!”  And I’m going to walk away before he gives me that look.  You know the look….the WTF-are-you-talking-about look.  I’m going to turn away quickly so I don’t even notice his anxiety at having to watch HIS children.  Yes, I am.
  • I am going to tell myself every day one thing that I like about me.  This one will be tough because I’m really not liking me, nope, not so much.  But I will try.  For you, ladies, over at Lose It Bitches.  I will try….
  • I am not going to get stressed over this.  I KNOW it can be done.  (well, I think so…..)
There, I have once again stated what I am going to do to accomplish this effing goal of weight loss and feeling good about myself.  Come on….someone step up to the plate and hold me accountable already cuz I don’t seem to be doing a very good job of that!


MrsWhich said...

So hard on yourself! Here's what I guess about you that your inner critic may reject but can still be true - you are an amazing person. You do more for your family and the world than for yourself. You sacrifice your days, health, vanity and comfort to give time and energy to every priority, and your own needs become de-prioritized. You chastise yourself for trying and failing, but trying is the critical piece, and maybe just being aware is as much energy as you can spare today. No need for blame. You are living as you need to. Celebrate the choices that support your goals every day. Maybe don't track what you eat. Track the things you were going to eat or wanted to eat and didn't. If you don't have support from others, you SO need it from yourself! I am on such a similar path, we can help each other.

Dual Mom said...

Bitch don't make me get the whip out!

As far as hubby, you need to stop that shit right now. He needs a good swift kick to the scrotum for even THINKING about making you feel guilty for taking 45 minutes for you. That shit infuriates me. Would you like me to come over and deal with him?

Backfat sucks dirty monkey balls, I know.

Just do it. Get up and do it and stop thinking about doing it.

K? K....

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'm having a hard time with it, too. Losing weight just isn't easy. I ate and ate and didn't gain any from Oct to Jan, and now I've pratically starved myself and I haven't lost anything. It just sucks!!!

Her Majesty Lisa (LadyWanderlust) said...

Every day is a new "do over".

Be patient with yourself and be forgiving to yourself. You don't have to be perfect, just be perfectly willing to try each and every day.

:) Hugs to you, Love to you, Lisa

Mad Woman said...

Hubby needs to suck it up and realise that you need YOUR TIME and if he isn't going to help with that, then you're going to unhappy. And we all know that if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Definitely write down what you're eating though! I find it really helps. Absolutely EVERYTHING!

That One Mom said...

Don't do it for us, do it for you!

And yes, he can watch his kids for 45 min!

P.S. I've tricked my kids into eating healthier 3 days this week by using ground turkey instead of ground beef! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

gayle said...

I'm having a hard time too ...only worked out 1 day this week and did not eat healthy today but WE CAN DO It!!!!!