WTH? Is that What I Meant to Say?

This is a new one for me….not the saying, but joining in on this post of What The Hell Wednesday that I stumbled across over at a Blue Monkey Butt, a blog that belongs to two sisters, Elle and Stacy.  I kid you not, the phrase “What the Hell???” comes out of my mouth at least daily if not more often.  And sometimes it comes out as “WTF???”  but that would probably have to be a WTF Friday post.   So, if you want to play, click the button below and have at it!!


The first moment that comes to mind is what is currently going on in my house right this very minute!!  The spouse has the toddlers in the tub, I hear alot of laughter, water spashing.  I was taking this moment to clean up dinner dishes, pick up toys, and maybe get in a quick blog.  The spouse sends me a text…

“If you aren’t busy, and if you are done with the clean up, why don’t you come on in and chat?”

First of all, a TEXT??  Our house is far from being mansion size.  I can hear him a mile away with his booming voice.  And he sends a TEXT? 

What the hell is wrong with this picture???  Modern technology, bite my ass, I would like to have a real conversation with my spouse at some point thank you very much.  So, I will end here and go “chat” with the spouse.  Don’t you worry, I’ll be back very soon.

tick tock

tick tock tick tock

 tick tock tick tock…

Ok, I am back.

The next thing that comes to mind is when I am typing away, you know, when you’re really on a roll?  You don’t have to lookkkkk at what you are typing…you can just kkkkkkkkkeep going and going and going and then when you takkke a breath and go to proof read what you have typed……like now……kkk  You look at what is on the screen and say WHAT THE HELL??  Again…thank you Little Man for removing my “K” from my laptop keyboard so that now it won’t stay on.  I love you dearly, but I could kicckk your sweet little ass to China for this one!!

Speaking of Little Man, he’s been going through a stage where he has the need to dump everything out…whether it’s a box of toys, a box of books, a container of cars, or a box of fish crackers-it doesn’t matter, he dumps them!  The one day he dumped the entire box of fish crackers on the kitchen floor right in front of the hubby and I.  We looked at each other, he knew I was ready to blow a gasket so he said “I got it”.  Ok then, while you “have it”, be sure to move the rolling cabinet because I am sure they flew under there too. 
I leave the kitchen for a few minutes.  Sooner than I think he could have swept the floor and moved the cabinet, I see him back on the computer.  I go back to the kitchen only to find the Little Man still eating fish crackers off the floor….

….ALOT of fish crackers…..still there….all over the floor.   I ask the dear spouse, “are you seriously done??”  He says, “he was sitting on those”…meaning the Little Man with the “little ass” was sitting on at least a half a box of fish crackers.  I was dumb-founded.  What the hell??  You have got to be kidding me.  At this point I was truly speechless as the tween walks in to assess the situation….she sums it up for me as she says….”he was sitting on ALL of those????”  in her sweet, innocent voice. 
 
The tween and I look at eachother…..

We look back at the floor…..

And for the first time everrrrrr, I hear her say…somewhat timidly, but she says it….. ”What the hell??”

He comes in the kitchen, and once again I hear “I got it”….and I say, “oh no, I GOT IT.” 

And this is where this post needs to turn to What I Meant To Say Wednesdays sponsored by Chief over at Hiding From the Kids!!  Oh yeah, and you all thought I would not take the chance to weasel this one in here too?  Wrong!!  How can you have a “what the hell” moment and not follow it with “What I Meant to Say”??  So,  if you wanna play along with this one, hop on over to her awesome blog by clickkkkking (damn “k” again) on the following:



And now, let’s back up.  When I said to the spouse, “oh no, I GOT IT” , I bit my tongue because this is WHAT I MEANT TO SAY:

“Alrighty you adult-sized child!!  If you say you GOT it you better HAVE it!  If I have to come and supervise you sweeping up the effing fish crackers AND make sure that you move the cabinet that I suggested that you move in the first place, then I might as well do it myself!  The point of YOU doing it was so that I didn’t blow a gasket.  The point was NOT for you to do it half-assed and then for me to come and re-do it.  Just because you walk around in the the tight white T-shirt that rocks my boat and gets the netherlands tingling does NOT give you the right to be a slacker and then think you will be getting any nookie when we hit the hay.  If you are going to leave half the fish crackers on the floor then you can also leave your tight white t-shirt in your drawer because I am just not going to be in the MOOD!!  Am I making myself clear???”

So…there ya have it.  My What the Hell moments along with What I Meant to Say.  I look forward to linking up with both of the sponsoring sites and seeing what you have come up with.

BTW…what I meant to say was:  “What the hell are you waiting for??  Get blogging and get linking already!!”

…..and have a nice day.

Stick It To Me

Once again it’s time for Post-It Note Tuesday with all thanks going to SupahMommy!!!  Click on this stickie to play along:
As for my stickies this week, I have a variety!  First of all, what’s always on my mind is my diet….not as in D-I-E-T, the four letter word, but as in what I consume on a daily basis which in fact relates to my ridiculous lifestyle change.
It’s hard sticking to the “good foods” or shall I say the “foods that are good for you” because we all know the “good foods” are NOT good for you.  (don’t get me talking about wings again….)
But so far, this is the outcome:
Can’t argue with that, now can we??

So, today I noticed that somehow things around this house have gotten out of control.  I’m not talking about the “people” here…they will forever be out of control.  I’m talking about STUFF!  There is stuff everywhere.  It’s in spaces that used to be free of STUFF!  It’s in spaces that didn’t have room for any more STUFF.  How did this happen??
I kid you not.  When it comes to the spouse, there is no routine….no consistency……everyday he starts over as if he just got here.  I tell him over and over, the garbage bags are kept here.  No, I never move them.    The children eat 3 meals a day….yes, honey, everyday.  The toddlers still wear diapers which need to be checked and changed as needed.  No, Lil Lady has not learned to pee on the potty yet.  That right there on the counter?  Yes, that is the bread box where the bread goes after you make your lunch each morning.  It’s not new….no, I haven’t moved it, so please return the bread to it DAILY. 
As for the children??  Well, they also put the same amount of enthusiasm toward each day, although they don’t know when to call it quits.  I seriously thought that children slept.  I know I did when I was a child.  Why don’t they?? 


So, I know my children are full of energy and they can get on anyone’s last nerve.  I give my babysitter alot of credit for what she accomplishes each day with them, BUT….and this is a big BUT (not a big BUTT)….when you are a babysitter, you need to remember that it’s not cool to lose your cool…..no no no!  And furthermore, YOU are getting paid for doing a JOB.  Bottom line…

After spending several days of cleaning, picking up after 2 toddlers, a tween and a spouse that lives each day as if he’s never done it before, I’ve come up with a few rules for the household.  I’m sure you can all relate.
In regards to the trashcan in the bathroom…..

In regards to everything I find left on the kitchen counter or the stovetop……
For the spouse and the tween….
For anybody that is willing to take notice….
       That’s my story….and I’m STICKing to it!!

Still a Bitch

Ok…I’m an still on the wagon with Lose It Bitches, and so far I haven’t killed anyone or bitten off any heads have managed to stay somewhat motivated.  Kinda hard not to when you reach for that bag of cookies but have to move the bunch of bananas on the counter and you see THIS: Or when I go to work and visit one of my patients and THIS walks by: This, my friends, is Butchie….one FAT CAT!! 

So, this week I dusted off the treadmill, and got on it 3 times….or was it 2??  Shit…I knew I should be logging this important information!!  I see all those sites for logging your food intake, your exercise time and all that but do you think that I have done that?  Nope…and now I can’t remember how many times I walked my ass off on the treadmill!!  Damn Damn Double-Damn!! 

Anywhoo….I DID exercise, and that is the point I’m trying to make here.  I think it totally ticked off hubby that I left him to deal with everything while I went down to the basement to walk my way to svelt-ness, but he’ll get over it, I’m certain of that.  It was a little difficult the one day because the spouse sent the Lil Lady down and she wanted to also walk her way to svelt-ness (she’s 3 and has little hamhocks for thighs)….I keep telling her not to fret over it….she’s good the way she is, but she is such a worry-wart!!  I wonder where she gets it from…..(don’t look at ME!!)

As for how much weight I lost this week?  Let’s see, that depends on what scale we are going to believe.  I think I will go with the one that was the nicest to me and that would be my work scale that I lug around with me and weigh my old people with.  Yeah, that one was nice to me.  So from here on out, I will go with that weight, from my work scale and it will be from my Thursday visit with my 2 ladies that are also trying to lose weight.  So, this week I am down to

169!!

Do you see that??  Did I make it big enough for you???  Yes, that would be

169!!

(for those of you who did not see it the first time.)

That would mean I have lost 5 pounds.  Might not seem like much, but the fact that I am in the 160’s is exciting to me.  I am trying so hard to make the right choices in what I shovel into my mouth eat…really REALLy trying.  I have yet to give up my White Chocolate Mocha No Whip Please but I need to do things one step at a time, and for me, my mocha is my LIFE!!  Wait…did I just say that??  I didn’t say “My spouse is my life” or  “my kids are my life”??  No…it’s my mocha.  Sad, but so true. 

This week?  My goals:

• Increase the amount that I exercise whether it is to exercise longer or exercise for more days, I don’t know-one or the other.
• Plan a healthy  breakfast.  I haven’t been concentrating too much on this, yet I know I’m not eating enough fruits.  I may also need to add a multivitamin tablet or have them add it to my mocha.
• Stop getting stressed out every time my kkkkkkkkkk button pops off my keyboard.  I think I can take it up to MicroCenter and they can fix it.  Ok, so you think this has nothing to do with my diet….wrong you are!  Can you imagine the stress that this “k” is putting me through??  And y’all know what stress does to someone dieting……enuf said!!
• Bring a lunch with me to work!!  It’s not that I stop and eat something bad when I don’t bring a lunch, it’s that I don’t eat at all and I know this is not good.  Not good because when I get home I am starving and the kids are all out of sorts begging for my attention and the stress-o-meter goes way off the chart, and yeah…you get the picture!!

There ya have it.  I have lost weight, I have goals, I will continue this freakin lifestyle change as long as I can!  And thank you ladies from Lose It Bitches for all your support.  And thank you Dear Sister from 2010-Year of Miracles for taking that damn exercise bike out of my basement.  My treadmill feels so very important now.

Now, I need to share this comment I received on one of my other posts from Gregory over at Day to Day…I think he has a very good point…Not saying that I want to kick any one out of LIB, but if you are the one that is losing the most weight, I’d be careful if I were you….just saying……


GregoryJ said...

Nice try; I think you missed the positive a time or two.
Would Be Bambi just informed me of the 4th Law of Thermodynamics: When one person loses weight, another person gains it. The amount of weight in the world stays the same.
Whoever is losing the most weight in the LIB, kick them out; they are why you are not losing.

That is what Gregory had to say…..This is what I have to say:

Beware!!  This crazyass mother gets extremely psychotic when things don’t go her way!!

Wings or Not?

Not sure what comes to your mind when you hear the word “WINGS” but at this point, in my starvation state, I think of my most favorite….CHICKEN WINGS!!  Mmmmmmmm….shhhh, don’t tell the ladies at Lose It Bitches!!  I’m not sure how many wings I could eat and still stay within my point allowance with WW and still be satisfied….the “being satisfied” is the key here.  I could probably have 3…which might be ok for someone 3 feet tall which I am not. 
I’ve argued with myself over this wing situation.  I’ve decided that it’s ok to have wings in certain circumstances.  For example, if you are a butterfly, or a bird.  Yes, it would be ok if you had wings or you might look like this:
……no thank you.

So, should pigs have wings??  Don’t we all say “when pigs fly” when we know something is so far fetched that it would never happen??  Can you imagine if pigs DID have wings?  All those crazyass things that don’t happen because pigs do NOT have wings, would be happening!!  My spouse would be able to stop at the bar every day after work, my tween would have already gone on her first date; I would be a size 2 and 5’5”!!  So…thank the good Lord that he did not make pigs with wings!!  Besides, it’s Just. Not. Natural.


Angels….yes, they deserve their wings!!  They need them so they can fly up on to your shoulder and protect you, guide you, tell you NOT to eat that Ding Dong you are about to shove into your mouth in one piece before someone comes into the kitchen and catches you.  Oh wait…that might be your conscience….not your Guardian Angel…..                  Anywhooo….Angels are superb beings that you may or may not believe in and I’m not here to sway you either way because it’s no skin off my back if you don’t believe in that amazing being that helped you NOT to be in the middle of that intersection when the dumbass ran the red light.  Nope…not my job.

So…should chickens have wings?  Do they fly much or do they have them just so we can eat them?  Ick….don’t EVEN want to go there….

But I would like to go HERE….




Furthermore, there are some things that should NOT have wings other than myself who really and truly could devour 24 of them right now is trying so very hard to stay on track and lose this post baby weight once and for all.  One of them is Little Man who has been insisting on wearing the Lil Lady’s Tinker Bell wings for long periods of time.
  
Yes, this scares me.











And one other thing that I believe should NOT have wings….




For Pete’s sake, they aren’t going to get up and fly, ARE THEY?? 
I’m just sayin…….

Positive Post It’s

Ok…so we’ve done it before and it’s time again for Post It Note Tuesday lead by SupahMommy over at Adventures of a Wanna-Be Supah Mommy.  If you wanna play and  link up, click HERE…..not here or here, but HERE!!
You all know that I am a part of Lose It Bitches, right?  And I’ve been fighting this never-ending battle of post-baby weight for nearly 2 years  now.  I KNOW it can be done…..but my problem lately is that I am so damn negative I bring myself down to low low trenches of diet hell.  I’m going to use Post-It Note Tuesday to post some positive stickies to help me stay motivated.  You don’t mind, do you?  And, if by chance I get off track…bear with me…I always get back on!!
For starters….. 

That was nice, eh??  How about this……
Yeah…I have been called the “Queenshit” by Dual Mom!!  Go check out her blog We’re At Dad’s That Week, you won’t be sorry.

Let me try to re-direct to the positive…..
  On that (stickie) Note…I think I need to stick with what I know and can definitely be positive of….