Ok, so I’m a Mom and sometimes I have these visions of me sitting with my kids and doing some “crafts”.
Yeah…that is SO NOT my family….they are too neat and well, ummmm…happy. (photo compliments of Google)
You see, I love to do crafts and the kids, being a by-product of ME, should also LOVE to do crafts. Yes? What craft?? Christmas cards, of course!!!
‘Tis the season to do stupid shit!!!
Sooooo….I got out the case with all the different papers, the card stock, the stickers, the glue, the embellishments, the ink pads….We had all kinds of paper to chose from. All kinds of stampers. Markers and pens and different types of scissors.
Ahhh, the scissors!! Lil Lady, she’s 4, she is very good with scissors. Little Man? Not so much. He scares the living shit out of me when he picks up any scissors. It was such a fight that I took both pairs of the sharp scissors and in order to keep them from the Little Man, guess where I put them? In my fucking bra!! Am I insane or what??
Seriously…who hides scissors in their BRA?? I can tell you this…at one point I actually forgot where I put them…but a little shift this-a-way and HOLY HELL I certainly remembered quite quickly…and painfully.
Considering they are
creatures from another planet toddlers, I have to give them credit for at least trying to participate in this stupid fucking grand idea I had. They absolutely LOVED the shiny glittery stuff I bought to use on these Christmas cards that I really wanted us to make…as a FAMILY….
It took Little Man less than 2.1 seconds to pop the top off the glitter tube and SHA-ZAMMMM!!! Green glitter….everywhere!
I succeed in making one card that
I wouldn’t send to my worst enemy could be used in case of an emergency….and Manny colored his card AND Lilli’s because Lilli was too busy playing with the glitter that had gotten everywhere.
Oh…and add a crazy Cali dog to the mix….yep, even SHE was glittered!! I must say her sparkling nose was quite cute! Took my anger away…sort of like Calgon….or Caribou coffee! I think the spouse is still worried that he will go to work sparkling tomorrow. (And For Pete’s Sake! We all know that he doesn’t sparkle!)
Anyglittermess, our cards did not turn out like these:
They looked like this:
It could have been fun. It could have been quality time spent with the kids. Shit, ok…it WAS quality time spent with the kids, but it sort of turned into a nightmare. The next time I have a bright idea like this, will someone please shoot me in the fucking foot??
Thank you kindly in advance!!