Am I a Scary Mommy?

Well...this should be an easy one to answer, right? I should definitely say NO, I am not scary!! But Jill over at Scary Mommy is searching for a Mommy that is scary....Wait...I have to stop right here and tell you what's really SCARY, and please, don't laugh...I am considered an educated person....lmao...ok, are you ready?? Ok...I thought SCARY was spelled SCAREY!! Yep...I did....*blushing*.....even looked it up so that my post would not have any errors.....

Anyhoozle....Initially I thought, hell no! I am not a scary Mommy but then thought back over the years with my children...and ohhhh, I bet there are times that they would have considered me to be pretty scary. In fact, my two toddlers are still being taught exactly HOW scary I can be. For instance, the other day when the Little Man (he's 19 months) was in the bathroom (somehow the door was left open leaving him full access) and I walked in on him just about to put his hand in the toilet....what would you do?? That's right, I screamed!! And when I say screamed, I mean I let out a howl that any wearwolf would be proud of. I let it rip and roll and ya know what? I scared the living crap out of that little Man! And what's worse is that I was proud, yes I was PROUD that my howling stopped him dead in his tracks and he did not stick his hand in the toilet bowl. Instead, he very nonchalantly picked up the roll of toilet paper (no, it wasn't on the holder, that would be too much work) and tossed it in....Oh YES-HE-DID....

Then I thought back to the time when my oldest daughter was having a difficult time going to sleep at night. Not that things have changed, but I've become a little less disturbed by it. This one particular time was when she had a loft bed. You know, a bed on stilts? Yeah, so I had to keep ushering her back in there over and over and over and over...you get the picture. Then instead of getting out of bed (because I am so scary she knew I meant business) she decided to keep calling for me to come to her. And I did. Over and over and over and over.....you seeing how this is going? I was at my wits end....she called me in for the last time. The bed was high, I am short. She was too far for me to reach but oh did I want to reach her. So, what did I do? In my sweetest voice I could muster with entirely too much mommy adrenaline coursing through my veins, I told her to come closer. (evil witch laugh...) She moved a little closer....(evil evil evil Mommy). I still could not reach her. Yes, I am that short. I said, "oh honey...just a little closer...." and she came just close enough and WHACK!! I got her!! And yes, I was once again proud of my Mommy skills. Trust me...she was shocked....but that was the end of it for the night. And if you are thinking I'm one of those mommies that whacks her children often...think again...otherwise, would she have come any closer no matter how much I asked??

There have been times that I have felt totally out of control. I have to admit that being a mom has made me aware of my inner most demon. (Oh stop, we all have one) Sometimes I have so much hostility over the strangest things that my children do, yet when it's serious I seem to have it under wraps for the most part. I don't beat my children, oh no, I tend to take it out on inanimate objects. Like the wall in the basement that sort of has a hole in it? Yeah....don't tell my husband...shhhhhhh. But it's hard being a mommy, isn't it? I went from being the mom of one to having 2 more after 10 years, and I tell you, I think that we are given a certain amount of patience when we are born, and when you use it up, that's it...it's gone, and you become one of THOSE MOMMIES.....the SCARY ONES!

I do know my limits though. And if I forget them, I always have my 3 year old to remind me. Like the time she comes walking into the kitchen and says, "Don't be mad, My Mommy, I didn't do nothing." THIS is always a bad thing. Always always always!! And yes, somehow I have gone from being "Ma-Ma" to "Mommy" to "Mom" to "My Mommy".....I think she's being a little possessive if you ask me. Anyways, I go to the other room where she "didn't do anything" and she had taken the Pinkxav (you know, the butt cream that is pink that is NOT water-soluble that does NOT wash off) and covered my dining room chair with it. Oh yes....she definitely DID do SOMETHING! Of course, I wouldn't want to traumatize the sweet little thing, so I took it out on the older child. Yeah, NOT a proud moment for me, but damn!! Can't she help watch the little ones sometimes?? Does she always have to be doing homework or doing something crafty? Does she have to be such a KID? She's 12 for Pete's Sake!

So, in retrospect, I am apparantly a very Scary Mommy. I love my children more than life and I would do anything for them. That includes wiping their tears when they aren't invited to a special friend's party, kissing away the boo-boo's on their baby dolls knees, cutting the crust off their bread, making noodles everyday because that's all they will eat, reading Cinderella 20 times in one night, curling up on the couch with the Little Man when he doesn't want to be in his crib, letting my 3 year old cover my arms (nearly free of any hair now) with stickers, and sitting on the floor for hours doing the same puzzle over and over....it includes the good and the bad, and with the bad sometimes you get the SCARY....not the SCAR-E-Y....but in the end, when the Little Man puts his head on my shoulder to fall asleep, and the 3 year old goes into her OWN bed on her OWN, and the 12 year old says "Mom, I love you...you're the best"...it's worth all the scarey moments in the world! There's nothing better and nothing SCARIER than being MOM!!