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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Another Divorce

Dear Scale,

I am writing to tell you that I am leaving you. The last 3 weeks with you has been worse than ever. Mostly because I am working so hard trying to keep up with the Body After Baby Challenge that I found over at MamaNotes, but it's also because you don't do ANYTHING! I swear, you mock me. I walk into the (bath)room and you just sit there. I step on you ever so gently and you do the same freakin' thing every time! There's never a change, and because of this, our relationship has gone stale.

What we once shared is now in the past. I don't see any future for us here. If maybe you could have given me just a little encouragement. Just a little spark of recognition when I would come to you. That's all I've ever asked. I have never wanted you to GIVE me things ie. diamonds, gold, POUNDS....all I've asked is that you take things AWAY. You haven't even been kind enough to do that for me.

After how I've cared for you over the years. Made sure the kids didn't abuse you. Made sure nobody moved you from your perfect spot in the bathroom corner. I made sure I kept your surface wiped clean at all times. I swear, where's the justice in how I've been treated by you? You act like you know what I'm doing at all times. Like if I don't drink enough water, you know it! If I have lunch at Applebees, you KNOW it. It's horrible. Just horrible....I feel like I don't have a life with you around, just WAITING for me to screw up! I've had it. You have beaten me down to my lowest low. You have treated me like some hysterical fat lady - deciding to make your numbers rise by 5 in just one weekend. WTF is THAT?? HUH?? I am not HYSTERICAL...I am just someone who wants some recognition for what she's trying to accomplish.

So, I'm sorry to say, this is my good-bye to you. I cannot take it anymore.



Incidentally, I have been seeing your cousin who lives in the basement bathroom, and have been treated just a little more nicely. If only you could have done what he has done...if you would have just spiced things up a bit, yeah...it all could have been different.

7 comments:

Katie said...

*hugs* I hope that this week is a better week for you!!

Amanda Sikes said...

Sorry, you had such a bad week. This post made me smile though. Hang in there. It is a new week.

Melinda said...

Your post made me giggle a bit :D

I use my Wii Fit to weigh because it seems to be the most acurate.
My scale in the bathroom is digital and one day there was a 30 lb difference in less than 5 minutes. Would have loved to have taken the lower weight, but the Wii busted that bubble.

Hang in there :D

melinda
hippie-mommy.com

Julie said...

Your post is hilarious! Hang in there, it will come. I'm a slow loser when breastfeeding and I went 3 weeks with no movement. I was about to give up when the scales finally started moving. Your time will come.

WeaselMomma said...

Wow. Your right to ditch that scale like a hot (baked) potato, with bacon, cheddar and chives. A girl needs a compliment every once in a while.

Kathee said...

Teehee! You are hysterical, Ter! I love it!

Julie Cole said...

yeah, dump that scale! that was a riot...thx for the laugh!