Friday, September 10, 2010

Brain Fogged

OMG…what a week, What.    A.    Week. 

My thoughts are scattered everywhere, from an issue I’m having with one of my home health aides to Lil Lady’s 4th birthday party that is to take place this Sunday.  But still, I’m going to try to jot down my weekly confessions for you, and link up with Glamazon for Friday Confessional.  You can also cleanse your soul by linking up here:

Friday confessional

Here it goes:

I confess that when I found out one of my home health aides put her name on a checking account with one of our patients, I did not care that there had been no activity in that account.  I saw RED, probably as the aide was seeing GREEN.  Come on folks….I’m sorry, times are tough for everyone, but does this give you reason to possibly plan to take this 98 year old’s money as soon as you get the chance?  Are you that desperate that you would steal from a 98 year old 74 pound lady on Medicaid who told me her “life savings” was a mere $1200??  

Things like this make me SICK.  Shameful….

I confess that I had a bit of satisfaction as I talked to the nice lady at PNC Bank regarding this account.  She nicely helped me and my patient close the account, therefore leaving the home health aide no further access to this lady’s money.

You see, we all have choices to make.  What would yours be??




When I got up this morning, I did what I normally do.  First I went to the kitchen as quickly as I could while tripping over the puppy just so I can get my coffee before I peed my pants.  I poured the coffee.  Add Splenda to mine and regular sugar to the spouse’s.  I turn to throw out my emptied Splenda packet….and….ugh, the freakin garbage is overflowing.  I do not say a word because the spouse noticed and said he would take it out on his way to work.  I think he knew my blood was already starting to boil.  I was proud.  I felt that he was on top of it this morning.  I felt a sense of togetherness over the stinkin garbage  (insert angels humming).  I felt “as one” with the spouse.  We were once again on the same page.  

And then…..I kiss him goodbye quickly as I’m trying to finish my hair before the teen comes flying into the bathroom.  I’m a little irritated that nobody can wait just TWO MORE MINUTES for me to be done and out of the bathroom.  But hey…it’s ok….he’s gonna take out the trash….right??

Nope.  He forgot.  I confess that I really wanted to kick his ass, but alas, I did not.  I swallowed my anger, after sending him a few choice text messages, and took out the trash all the while tripping over the puppy.

I confess, and this is serious…..I am just not nice anymore.  Really.  I get so irritated over the silliest things.  And ya know how they tell you to not “hold it all in”….”let it out”….”you’ll feel better”…..Well, the problem is, when I tell people about these things that irritate the fuck out of me, they Just. Don’t. Get. It.

Like today, at the grocery store, I was waiting for this lady to pick out her eggs so I can get mine.  You know how you have to look through a few dozen to find a carton that has ALL intact eggs??

Well, yes….this lady was SLOW.  So damn slow I wanted to pelt her with a few eggs to get her to move a bit faster.  Come Onnnnn, Lady…..they are EGGS!!!   Open carton, oops, one is broke, pick another, oops, 2 broken….move, quick quick quick!!!  I confess that I was mumbling under my breath as she very carefully checked each and every egg in the 7 dozen she bought!!  Yes!!  7 dozen!!  Why????  Maybe if she ate more than EGGS she might be able to cluck around a little faster and won’t end up looking like THIS::


The only person that gets IT is my sister, Kat, over at 2010-Year of Miracles.  Yep.  And you know why?  Because she’s just as fucked up as I am!!!  I confess!!  I confess!!  This is the God’s Honest Truth!!!  Go!!  Go read her blog! 

I confess that when my Uncle responded to my email this morning and questioned the “type” of party I was having for Lil Lady, I was concerned.  Apparently I wrote that I was having a “beat” party.  He figured this was a typo, but then, what is a “BEET” party??  And if it IS a “BEET” party, he would love to be there as he is a vegetarian.

OMG…..Yep….thank you iPod Touch for correcting my spelling of


That wasn’t the only typo.  I also typed something about “Amy”….who the fuck is that??  I don’t know.  I think I meant “any”….

And I mentioned how people will be able to “meet” my dust bunnies at the party because it’s going to rain and we won’t be able to party outside.  Yes, I have dust bunnies, but I’m not worried about people MEETING them…I am worried about people SEEING them.

Shit!!  Then, I confess, I wondered if my stupid dimwitted iPod touch just fixed my spelling, or was I totally typing the incorrect words?  I realize my hands and my eyes are the last part of me to wake up in the mornings, and I’m usually always scatter-brained, but….

…this is a big BUTT…..

….If I was typing the wrong words, what pray tell is wrong with my fucking brain???  OMG….could it be tumorous?  Is it just a CLOT blocking one vessel…..yes, the vessel that knows how to type…..????  All kidding aside….

I really wonder if the ass would be ok if the chickens and I ate beets at the party…..



Ha!!  Gotcha!!  I KNEW what I was typing there…I was just checking to see if YOU were paying attention!!!

So, I confess, that amongst the other stressors in my life, I am thinking I need an MRI…or at least a CT scan or something. 

But, as usual, I will put that on the back burner with my inflamed hip joint, my knee that keeps buckling, the warts on my feet, the sharp abdominal pain that comes and goes, the frequent headaces…..

Yep…I’m just a barrel of good health….

…..and then some!!

And….by the way….if you would like to come MEET my dust bunnies, you are more than welcome.  I promise they will be on their best behavior and dressed in their Sunday best!!

Happy Weekend Everybody!!!


Imaginative Me said...

Hahahahah! I really needed the laughter today! Thank You!
Love your post. And I'm with you, I would have closed that account too! Good for you!

Kat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kat said...

Amen that you closed the account! I don't think the "ass" minds anything you do so long as the "ass" doesn't have to do it! So go ahead and EAT the beets with the chickens! :) Party on! And yes, I AM just as fucked up as you! I'll be at the party with my ass and I'm bring mini cheese cakes to go with the beets!

gayle said...

Such a funny post and cute pictures!! My dust bunnies are not as cute as yours are!!

WhisperingWriter said...

Ha. I'm paying attention, by the way.

And I've had to wait for slow egg people before. Not fun. I always want to say, "Lady, I have an impatient toddler here, move."