OH FOR PETE'S SAKE!: My Busy Not-so-Normal Life

Ok…there is no use in complaining…..if I do, I might hear something like “you made your bed, now you get to lie in it” or is it “you forgot to make your bed, so lie in it”?? Oh wait, it could be “you broke the fucking bed, now it’s yours forever….” Whatever the case, I made my own choices, and now I have to do the best I can.

So, I have 3 kids which makes my days hectic and seemingly never-ending. My oldest has ADD which adds a little spice to her personality, but it all works out in the end if you know how to speak with her, and not AT her.

My middle child, Lil Lady, is almost 4 and we just recently conquered the potty battle. Now the new battle is that she says she has to potty and then just stands there until I say, “Then MOVE IT!!!” She will wander to the bathroom, and then wait for me to pull down her panties and plop her ass on the toilet…..then of course I have to wipe her princess ass when she’s done. This morning I was muttering away about how, if I allowed it, or if it were even possible, I would not only be pulling everyone’s pants down in this house AND wiping their asses, but I’d also be taking a shit for each one daily if it made THEIR lives easier.

I should know better. I should keep my muttering to myself. The next thing I hear is this, “No Mommy, you would only have to shit for one of us……Me.”

Great…that is just fucking GREAT, isn’t it???

Then you have my Little Man who is just about 2 1/2 years old. He keeps me on my toes because I never know what he’s going to do. He’s been a climber since he was able to pull himself up. He’s now an avid jumper. Yes, he jumps off chairs, couches, step stools, potty chairs…..and whatever is available.

Well, on Friday he did something to his foot, or his knee, or his hip….we still don’t know. All we know is that he was limping, and limping pretty damn good too. He was holding onto furniture in order to not put much weight on his right leg. He looked worse than half of my patients, and they are all over 70 years old!! We had a couple trips to the ER to determine what happened. Both times nothing was found. I tried to tell the doctor that he doesn’t really show how much something hurts, and that is why I was there-I really didn’t know how bad he was hurt. Hell…he was giggling as he was walking and saying, “ohh, owie….” Now THAT is NOT normal….nor does he get it from MY side of the family.

The ER nurse saw this as she drew blood from my Little Man and he didn’t flinch. He didn’t cry. He didn’t do anything to indicate that he felt the needle puncture his tiny little vein. In fact, afterwards I sat him up and all he said was, “K, done now.” He was more or less ticked off at this point and was going to remove himself from the ER. It took 2 juice boxes, 4 packs of graham crackers, a small bottle of bubbles, and a little beach ball just to keep him occupied while we waited for the xray results.

The next time I’m going to let him laugh it off, literally, and forego the medical bills!

Now….if things weren’t hectic enough, we’ve added a puppy to the mix. Her name is Cali and she’s as precious as can be….until you give her a puppy chewy bone. Yep….can you say “neurotic dog”?? So, after seeing her snap one time, and growl one time, I went out and bought a crate.

The crate has a nice little divider in it that is going to show sweet little Cali how to hold her pee. Yes, that’s what the box said. Well, not in those words, of course. The crate is also going to show Cali that she is not the boss of me!! Absolutely! I am going to have a sweet little Cali in no time.