Friday, September 25, 2009

I heard the Dad yelling.......and yelling.....and YELLING. I couldn't be sure what was going on because I was in the basement cleaning up the toys that were left all over the place when "someone" brought the toddlers to the basement earlier that evening. All I knew is that it sounded bad. It sounded like thunder rolling.....

While downstairs I could not hear the 12 year old whining, or the 3 year old crying, or the 18 month old snoring :) All I could hear was the DAD.

I tried to decipher what was happening. The 12 year old was in the tub, the DAD was in the hallway hollering, the 3 year old was in the dining room wanting to paint, and the little boy was snoring.....

I thought the 12 year old got caught doing something horrible. So horrible that the Dad had to confront her immediately....that he couldn't wait for her to be out of the tub. This must be serious, I thought. Did my "baby" get caught smoking??? Did she tell a lie?? Did she fail a test??? What happened to cause such an uproar from the Dad?? And why wasn't he paying more attention to the 3 year old?

It was 9pm....bedtime for the oldest had been set for 9:30 earlier that evening. She was to be IN BED at later than 9:30 you all hear me? or him?? He says 9:30 and means it. Night after night of arguing about bedtime has brought him to this point.

So, I say, she's hasn't been caught drinking? smoking? or worse?? The dad says no, he just wants her out of the tub, now, and that's it.

Now....tell me people, is all this yelling necessary?? Do we have to act like the world is coming to an end because the tween is not listening....she's begging to have more time in the tub? Is this REALLY NECESSARY?? Can't we all just get along? Can't we pick our battles?? For Pete's sake, can't we just let the kid have a few more minutes in the tub even if it means you are not in control of her every move, and that she is taking over the household...because that's what it means, right? When we give in a little and let the kids have some means they are controlling US...and we don't like sireee we do NOT like that. WE want the control...and when we lose it, we TOTALLY lose it.

Seriously all honesty, I feel we need to take a step backwards. We need to let our children be who they are, let them grow to be individuals, let them express themselves respectfully....cherish them. No one is going to grant our requests to have a "do-over". The bottom line, our children didn't ask to be here...we brought them here and it's our job to show them how they can be beautiful people.....not how to yell, and fight, and be mean, and control one another. All kids need is love....and it's up to us, as parents, to give it to them. After all, they give it to us, UNCONDITIONALLY, just because we are who we are.

1 comment:

Tina said...

My grandma had this hanging in her house and I always loved it. I thought you would appreciate it as well.

Children Learn What They Live

If children live with criticism,
they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility,
they learn to fight.
If children live with fear,
they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity,
they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule,
they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy,
they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame,
they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement,
they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance,
they learn patience.
If children live with praise,
they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance,
they learn to love.
If children live with approval,
they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition,
they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing,
they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty,
they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness,
they learn justice.
If children live with kindness & consideration,
they learn respect.
If children live with security,
they learn to have faith in themselves
and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness,
they learn the world is a nice place
in which to live.

Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte