Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Ahhhh Surprise Surprise!! Pete and I were dating a few months and apparantly I was not broken!! Notice I say "a few months" and that is to maintain some sort of dignity. After all, I was 38 years old at the time, had a daughter to be a role model for, and certainly wouldn't want anyone to think I just jumped in the sack with Pete...just because, well, he's Pete! Anyways, shortly after we started dating I found out I was expecting!! I said WHAT?? I swear I thought I was broken. My late husband and I tried to have another baby after our first daughter. We lost our son when I was 8 months pregnant...that was our little Nathan...RIP. I also had another miscarriage after that. I said, I thought I was broken!! (Have I said that enough??) Anyways...I'm not broken. Now I'm "fixed" as in tubes tied fixed because I WAS NOT BROKEN!!

Our little Lillianna Grace was born in September, and she is a blessing. I truly thought Brianna was going to be my only child. Speaking of Brianna, she was absolutely thrilled with having a little sister. And to this day, she loves her to pieces!

I should back up a little....when I found out I was pregnant, I did the nice thing and told Pete he didn't have to stick around...No! Really!! I was serious! I wasn't going to be accused of trapping ANYBODY!! He chose to stay around, and in fact, asked me to marry him. Again I said WHAT?? Things were moving way too fast....and they still are, but I know right from wrong....I'm not uneducated...really, I'm not!! We got married in August, less than a month before Lilli came into our lives. Shotgun wedding?? Not exactly, but my Dad was pleased and the Mayor was a friend of the family so it didn't seem all that impersonal.

From the day I saw Lilli's little face, I knew there was someone "up there" looking out for me. Maybe it was my late husband not wanting me to be alone?? or maybe it was my Mom who I lost just 8 months prior to losing my husband?? I don't really know...but I am blessed. Of course that's not what I was thinking when I saw this again....

.......and Emmanuel James was on his way....11 months after Lilli....Oh For Pete's Sake!! You have GOT to be kidding me!! Blessed?? Maybe it WAS my late husband saying "so there!!" or my Mom saying "haven't you learned your lesson??" Oh well, whoever it is, I'm OVER it! For Pete's sake, I'm an adult...I can handle it!! Pete, on the other hand, is probably still wondering what the hell was he thinking the day he sent me a message on Yahoo....never thinking his life would be a whirlwind of step-parenting battles to biological baby battles....Hands together for Pete, he does the best he can!!

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