Friday – Confess or Not??

Sorry folks…thought I could spare you my rambling Friday Confessions, but….

…PSYCH!! 

Ain’t gonna happen.  Not this week!

Link up with Glamazon and enjoy the release of endorphins as you confess!!

This week was going fairly well until yesterday.  Yesterday when I withdrew a mere twenty from the ATM, I realized my bank balance had dropped significantly. 

I confess that I had a Mel Gibson kind of moment.  I seriously thought of calling the mother-flucking credit card company and giving them a piece of my Mel-Gibson-psycho-garble.  (I Chase won’t Chase specifically Chase state Chase the Chase name of Chase the Chase company because I have more Chase consideration than Chase that.)

I confess the words I would have liked to have spoken to un-named company went something like this…spoken eloquently by Mel himself….

 Mel: “Alright. You have one more chance, and I mean it.  F*cking go if you want, but I will give you one more chance. [heavy panting…ALOT of heavy panting] You make me want to SMOKE, you f*cked up my day. You care about yourself. I have been so good to you and you f*cking try and destroy me. “

Then I thought about it a moment, and I confess that if I could have just said THIS (another eloquent quote by Mel)…….

 “You need a f*cking bat in the side of the head. Alright, how about that?”

…I would feel a tad bit better.  But then, I confess, that Mel’s words just wouldn’t do because he forgot to call the person/company in question a fucking RATBASTARD, and THAT would be MY WORD!! 

Nevertheless, there was pretty much nothing I could do about the situation, so I just did THIS:

I felt a slight release of the tense-agitated-I-think-I’m-going –to-commit-a-crime feeling, but not quite, so I did THIS….

Feeling defeated.

I confess….

I then did THIS…..

…which totally sucks because I confess that I just DID NOT CARE anymore at that point.  (Let me clarify, I did NOT smoke weed, people,  just a Misty Menthol Ultralight).

You see, we had the garage sale last week, worked our ASSES off to make a few bucks, only to have it taken away….

Just. Like. That.

Fuckers.

That’s what I think of the un-named *cough*Chase *cough* credit card company.  And you know I must be really ticked off, because I never ever swear!!  And since I don’t swear, I will let “Agnes” do it for me:

Wait….

I confess, that last sentence was a fucking lie!!

There.  All better now.  Endorphins released.  Calm has over-come me.  Oh, and I only took one damn Xanax!!  Don’t judge me.  I am only human.

Thank you for letting me confess.  I truly cherish my bloggy life…without you, I would not have this feeling of release right now.  Or maybe I would, but my spouse would pretty much running for his life, and we can’t have that, now can we??

Have an awesome weekend!!

 

 

Side note:

Read more about Mel here if you care to…..I’m posting this link up as a courtesy to the site in which I stole/borrowed his quotes (besides the fact that when I copied and pasted the quotes, the link appeared) :   http://technorati.com/entertainment/celebrity/article/mel-gibson-is-going-to-huff/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+trarticles+(All+articles+at+Technorati)#ixzz0to8Gz8Ec

It’s PINT Time!!

Each week I think I say the same thing….

ie.  “Once again it’s time to link up…..” and a-blah, blah, blah….so this week I’m not gonna say it.  I’m just going to TELL YOU….

Link-up, for Pete’s Sake!!

(that would be, link up with Supah!!)

Last week was a week from hell what with all the garage sale preparations, and then having the garage sale for 3 days in the 90 plus degree heat…..it was worse than being stuck on an island with nowater and no smokes and no iPod and no…. quite challenging and also worse than being asked when is your baby due when you aren’t fucking pregnant quite draining.

So, yesterday I took the time to count my blessings.  Go figure…I just might get all sentimental and wishy-washy on you in this post.  Or…..

…..maybe not.

 

 

 

 

 

(no pic of THAT….too embarrassing!!)

 

 

 

 

  

At this rate, I might have tomatoes in the winter!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And……You all have a wonderful day!!!              

Confess….or Smoke?

Ahhhhh Friday Confessional!  I love you!  I adore you!  You are the best thing since pepperoni and sausage pizza!!  Mwah!!!!

(I think my ankles just swelled typing that!!)

• First of all, let me tell you that GARAGE SALES suck!
• I confess that it was way more work than I really cared to be doing on my week off just to be ready to sell this SHIT!  
• I have never seen so many OLD MEN at a garage sale.
• When I go to garage sales I see pregnant WOMEN.
• Where the FUCK are the pregnant WOMEN who are supposed to be here buying all my baby stuff??

 

GIVING BIRTH????

• I confess I’m a little edgy.
• This quitting smoking is for the birds. 
• I confess that I have cheated and smoked a few….but only a few.
• And I don’t care what anyone thinks.  It’s still an accomplishment for me.
• Seriously people….
• I have enough clothing to clothe half of this damn city, and no one is here buying them.
• Tons of baby and kid clothes in bins, on tables, on racks….
• Tons of toys….(Watch out, Mike…they are coming your way)
• “Mike” would be @realdadshangout in case you didn’t know.  Also, you need to check out his blog because he and his wife are having baby number FOUR today, and I’m sure he’ll be blogging his immense JOY asap.
• Go….now…..Real Dad’s Hangout.
• I could put Vtech out of business…..

 

• One more day of this garage sale.
• Yes, I have my laptop in the garage with me as I sell not a fucking thing a few items here and there.

Yes, my precious laptop….it is NOT FOR SALE!!

 

• So….we’ve had a few stragglers today….some bought a few things.
• Some bought ONE thing for like 50 fucking cents….
• Are they for real? 
• Where are the BIG SPENDERS?????

• WTF??  I said SPENDERS!!

• Oh come ON!!  What do I need to do to bring in the buyers??
• Drastic measures are upon us.

 

• I’ll spare the kitty if you buy my SHIT.
• Just sayin….
• Did I tell you I have clothing for your child from birth until they start toddling around?
• Did I? 
• Are you sure?  I would’t want to be repeating myself.

Ok….enough is enough.  I came in the house because I just couldn’t bear it any longer….

It’s hot, humid and now it’s fucking raining!!

It just don’t get better than this!

Or THIS:

huh? 

K….you all go have a glorious day and an even better weekend!!

I’m going to go puddle-jump with the toddlers and ease some stress…..

TRIPLE H-E-double-toothpicks!

It’s Wednesday, yep, it is.  I am on vacation, yes, I am…..BUT, I am no where near a beach…

…and I am not on a flippin cruise…..

…So, here I am about to link up with the gals over at Blue Monkey Butt for What the Hell Wednesday, because I really need a VACAY from my VACAY!  Click below and you can link up too!

Ok…for starters, what the freaking hell???  I missed Post-It Note Tuesday with Supah!!  Dagnabbit!!  The only reason I did is because I am HOME on VACAY and the family is occupying my every moment!!  Go away family.

We are also preparing for a garage sale that is using my last bit of sanity to prepare for. 

                     (This is only ONE corner of the shit we have….)

What the hell??  Who’s shit IS this, anyways????

It’s really hard to prepare for anything when this Monday at 11 am the spouse and I went under laser therapy to help quit smoking.  I think he’s doing well…..me, not so well.  I still want to smoke.  He says he does too, but the first morning without my smokes I was ready to commit murder to throw in the towel.  I told the spouse that I was extremely aggravated.  He said, “how come?”  I looked at him like he just asked me if I wanted to have another baby or something. 

What the Hell???

Seriously!!??  I said, “Why am I aggravated??  Oh good GOD!!  Did you forget that I like to smoke??  Did you forget we are trying to quit???”  Holy shit I really really wanted to whack him.  I would have felt so much better.  Especially if I could have lit up a Misty Menthol Ultralight afterwards…..

I think I got over that hump…..

I feel better this morning. 

I’m not sure he’s feeling the love this morning though.  He said his nerves were on edge this.  I said….”how come?”  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEheeeheeeheeee!!  He just looked at me.  I really was giving him permission to say, “did you forget I like to smoke!!!!?????” Ha!  But he did not.

What the hell?  So disappointing that I didn’t get him to scream I didn’t get the same reaction that I gave him.  Sometimes I just want him to break, ya know?  Let it roll, baby….get mad!!  But it’s THOSE times that he keeps his shit together.  It’s ALL the other times that he’s bitching, moaning, hollering, or crabbing about something. 

Ohhh oh oh…WAIT!!  I think the spouse’s resolve is breaking!!  He just printed off garage sale posts that his brother made up for us….and….ahhhhahahaha….wait for it….

….yep….are you waiting??  He printed up a dozen…..

….and….

…..THERE’S A TYPO!!!!!!!!!

The spouse says, ‘NOW I need a cigarette!” 

What the hell??  A typo puts him over the edge??  That is too funny!  The type was “everyone”….

 

‘Everone”

So, on THAT note, I hope EVERONE has an awesome day!!  And if you can, say “What the Hell” as much as you can today!!  It will make you feel awesome!!

And I think I need to end this NOW because all of a sudden EVERthing is happening at once, and I am feeling the need for the Misty Menthol Ultra Light….so, I need to get away quickly or  I need to go smack the spouse…

Which shall I pick??  Get away?  Smack the spouse?  Get away…oh, hell….

TGIF Fragments!

Today it’s FRI-Day!!!!  OMG!  I never thought it would get here.  I am exhausted.  This week has been quite adventurous, I can say that much.  I will just give you a few fragments though because I am not out to write a book.  I will leave that to the “real” authors!

I’m linking up with Mrs4444 over at Half-Past Kissin’ Time for Friday Fragments.  You can too.  Just click below to link up, and you can find the rules here if you need to!  I don’t always follow the rules, but I am always AWARE of them at least!!

So…at this point in time, my babysitter issues are resolved.  Yep, we are utilizing my daughter and a friend of hers since paying them pennies as apposed to paying an arm and a leg to the asshat of a babysitter we used to have.  Well, I’m not actually paying them pennies.  I give them an amount that is do-able, for me and for them.  They even got a little bonus this week!

Why??  Because of this:

You see, Lil Lady has been a tough one to potty train.  She is one hard headed miss prissy pants stubborn, yet very sweet and brilliant, little girl.  The lovely teens you see in the pic are the new AWESOME sitters I have.  I came home from work to find them having a Potty Party…right there in the kitchen!  This….well….to say the least, this made me proud.  The previous sitter did not give much thought to trying to get Lil Lady to go on the potty.  She knew it was going to be tough, but she didn’t really try to  help Lil Lady get over the hump.  I was having a hard time because I did not have someone that was going to follow-up with what I was trying to accomplish when I was  at home.  But NOW….I have the TEENS!!  And they are really working with Lil Lady.  They are motivated!  And I promised them both $50 bucks when they succeed!!  Shhhh…..bribery….it goes a LONG way!!

Anypotty….it’s not like they know when I am coming home because my hours vary.  Yet…..they were “caught” in the act of doing an excellent job of taking the time with the Lil Lady to get her to pee on the potty.

Since having these girls babysit instead of the ogre I had before, Lil Lady has peed on the potty at least once a day….and yesterday she made her first poop on the pot!!  OMG!!  I never thought THAT would happen!!

So we are on the right track!!

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Another accomplishment this week is that Lil Lady has been sleeping in her own bed and she also STAYED there all night for at least 3 nights…..not too bad, eh?? 

I’m telling you….I should have gone with my instincts and canned that sitter a long time ago!!

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Some other excitement this week?  Holy hell….Lil Lady threw sand at the Little Man.  I was horrified!  I’m a nurse, but I will say it for the kazillionth time….I do NOT work in the ER for a damn good reason!!  You got it…..the spouse took charge.  Well, he was “in charge” of them when it happened, so in my defense, he SHOULD have handled it.  And he did.  And he did it well!  Kudos to the spouse once again this week!!  (The first time was for the awesome way he canned the babysitter!!)

 

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My oldest became a TEEN-ager this week.  Wow.  We went shopping for a bathing suit and she insisted on a two-piece.  I must admit, she has a little Barbie body, but still….does everyone have to know that??

Yes, I am biased.  Yes, I think she’s gorgeous.

So, when she picked out a two-piece that had bottoms like this:

I made sure she knew she had to wear THESE over them:

Now that we are clear on THAT…let’s move on….

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The hubs and I are still working on gathering, organizing, cleaning, re-organizing, cleaning some more….all in preparation for the up-coming garage sale.  I’ve never ever had a garage sale on my own, and I really have no idea how to get it all together.  If there is anyone out there that will offer their services for free….other than my BFF who already has…..well, contact me asap!!  I need help!!!!

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Another goal met…..I have scheduled the laser appointment for the spouse and I for our attempt at quitting smoking.  Yikes!!  The appointment is next Monday, so if you don’t hear from  me next week it’s either A.) I am comatose   B.) The spouse has killed me or C.) I am too embarrassed to tell you that it didn’t work!!!  

I am quite nervous about it.  My biggest fear, seriously?  I don’t want to get a freakin headache!!  LMAO!  That even makes ME laugh!!  Silly, I know….like there’s no such thing as Tylenol??

So, wish us luck!  Pray that we don’t destroy eachother.  You see, we are being lasered on Monday and then we are off for the whole week together getting ready for the garage sale while 2 toddlers take all the toys that we are going to be trying to sell.  Add all those things up and it could be deadly.

Just sayin….

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Wishing you all a wonderful weekend and I hope I am still functional next week to update you on the garage sale preparation and the lasering…….

And don’t forget to link up with Mrs4444 for Friday Fragments!!