Do You Want to Be on Top??

Valentine’s Day……

How was yours?  Mine started off with work.  I rushed through seeing a few patients before I had my own doctor’s appointment.  At my appointment I found out that my B12 level is extremely low.  Hmmmm……

I don’t eat enough meat.

It’s not that I’m a vegetarian, because I don’t eat vegetables either.

I just choose to get my energy from other sources.

 

I could live on White Chocolate Mochas.  In fact, I think I do.  And my blood work proved it.

So, I left the doc with a script in hand for B12 injections that I have to give myself weekly. 

 

I can do this.  I. Am. A. Nurse.

Fuck.  (that’s an entirely different blog post, I’m certain)

After my visit I had to pick up the teen from school.  Then off I went to pick up the short people from the sitter’s.  Lil Lady not feeling well.  Turns out she has “slight pneumonia”.  Really??  Is that like being “slightly pregnant”??  Also Little Man who was  just on antibiotics last week for one ear infection now has a double ear infection.  You’d never know by the way he was tearing up the doctor’s office.

After this visit I had to pick up all of our meds from the pharmacy.

After dropping kids off at home I had to run to a store quickly to get little Valentine’s gifts that I should have already gotten but didn’t because I’m such an awesome mom idiot.  Seriously…I had plenty of opportunities to do this.  I am a slug.

As I’m in the store having a conversation with some guy asking if I thought his girlfriend who always asks him to reach the remote would like one of these “grabber looking things”, the spouse calls to say a co-worker has stopped over to pick up a piece of equipment for work that I said she could use.  The equipment that was in my car, in the parking lot, at Five Below, and not at home.

It was a rush rush rush all day that I totally forgot I told her I would be home.

“Fuck!”

“Fuck Valentine’s Day!”

And that’s exactly what I said to the spouse on the phone.  He gives the phone to the co-worker and I say, as sweet as can muster up….

“Heyyyyy…yeah…..I forgot.  I’m so so sorry.  Wanna run up here to Five Below?  Yeah?  Ok…thanks!  See you soon!  I’ll wait outside for you!!  K!  Buh-byeeee!”

Shit.

The guy examining the “grabber looking thing” looks at me and says, “well??” 

 

I said, “I don’t know…I got my husband steak knives.”

He says….

“Fuck.”

Exactly, buddy….exactly. 

I just can’t get it all done.

I can’t.

But I did.  In the car, I shoved the little goodies in the bags, shoved in the tissue paper, made the gifts look pretty….and home I went.

The spouse had his gift for me sitting on the bed first thing this morning.  I refused to open it because I didn’t have his put together yet.  It takes a bit to make steak knives look like an awesome gift ya know. 

But look.  Just LOOK at what I got!!

 

Awesome, yes??

So, then I asked…..

“Oh, do YOU want to be on top??”

He had the nerve to say…

“I’m a little tired of being on top.”

Seriously, Mr. Sake??

 

Looks a little lonely in that recliner, doesn’t it??

Hope you all had a great Valentine’s Day!!