My Nut Just Got Washed

This has been Hell Week #37 out of week #16, 2011….is that alot of Hell Weeks, or what?  Seriously…I SOOOO need this:

I confess that when I got a call from my supervisor when I was on the way to work telling me I needed to be “floor nurse” at 11, I nearly puked.

 

I confess that I am not that efficient working the floor at the new place because….and I say this with teeth clenched….I HAVE NEVER BEEN TRAINED TO WORK THE FLOOR AT THE NEW PLACE.

Just sayin…

I was told I would only be on the floor passing meds until 3pm.  Ok…I can do this, right? 

I confess….it did NOT go well.

I confess that as 5pm rolled around and there was no relief in sight….once again, I wanted to puke.

 

 

What the fuck??

Seriously??

I am part of what they call the “management team”.  I am in charge of Restorative.  I am in charge of investigating incidents that occur in the building.  I do some management “things”….

I am NOT a floor nurse/charge nurse at this facility.  That is why I HAVE NEVER BEEN TRAINED TO WORK THE FLOOR AT THIS PLACE.

I confess that when a family member told me she was told by a nursing assistant that “we don’t have a wheelchair to take your mother in law down to get her hair done”….my jaw dropped.

Are we not a muther truckin REHAB FACILITY???

AND we have NO WHEELCHAIR???

 

OMG…

…Kill me now.

I confess I wanted to take that nursing assistant by the throat and throttle her overly-tanned orangey-looking face to the fuckin’ moon!

I confess that at 5:30 after texting my spouse that I was being held captive I would not be able to pick up the short people from the sitter’s, I was fighting back tears.

I confess that when the sweetest nurse on this earth came over from the other unit to help me out, I lost it.

I cried and hid in the med room for several minutes before coming out and busting ass to finish the assignment.

I confess that I logged in to the computer to do what they call “Medicare Charting”, I basically said, FUCK THIS! and logged back off.

Seriously?

In MY position, I know how to CHECK to see if the Medicare charting is DONE…now HOW it’s done. 

Now, this was THE day from hell.   But…let me tell you a story.  One of the residents needed to use the bathroom.  Ok…I can DO that.  I assisted him to walk into the bathroom.  Gave him privacy although I kept the door cracked so I could keep an eye on his unsteady self.  When he was ready to get up I popped in and began helping him.  All of a sudden though, this man’s legs weren’t working.  He had no balance although he kept saying he was fine.  As I said, one of my REAL jobs here is to monitor the “incidents”.  That means FALLS!!  Oh hell no, this man was NOT falling on the Restorative Nurse!!

I couldn’t leave him to get help although I did pull the bathroom call light in hopes there was someone who may come.  Ya never know…..

No one came. 

Then this fella said, “Oh I better flush again…it didn’t work the last time.”  Just as I was saying, “Noooooo…..!”, he turned and flushed.  Then he lost his balance and had to sit again.  The water, instead of going DOWN….started to come UP!  I had that the-toilet-is-over-flowing-panic moment and screamed, “GET UP GET UP GET UP!!!!!”

 

Holy fuck I was going to be standing in shit with this man and there was nothing I was going to be able to do because this man was NOT going to end up on the floor!!  No way No how!!!

Well, the water stopped coming up…it only made it to the rim, thank God.  The panic was settling although I was still wondering if anyone was ever coming to help….and this man, bless him, he says, “Well….my nut just got washed.”

OHMYFUCKINGGODKILLMENOW!!!

I laughed my ass off.

And I laughed some more.

And by God, THIS was the moment I needed all fucking day!

So…although it was a hell-ish day, this old man with his awesome wit…he MADE MY DAY.

And THIS, I confess, is why I’m a nurse in the first place.

(and,  just so you know, help DID come….but only after I called the nurse’s station from my cell phone that we are not supposed to have with us while working….imagine THAT.)

Thank you, Ladies, for the opportunity once again to confess.  I feel cleansed and ready to work my part-time job tomorrow…THIS job I AM a floor nurse, and I CAN do it!!

 

HAPPY FRIDAY!!