Friday Fragments

I found a new fun thing to do on Fridays!!  This one is brought to you by Half-Past Kissin’ Time.  I just came across her blog this week and it’s lovely!!  Seriously….if you can, stop on over there and take a look-see, and you’ll know what I’m talking about.  The new fun thing to do?? 
FRIDAY FRAGMENTS!!!  Wooooo hooooo!!  This is so up my alley since I really have a very short attention span, and often can only get a few words down at a time.   Now my fragmented posts of mismatched information will be saved for Fridays!!  How convenient is THAT??
During the week, you save up some tidbits of what’s been going on, it may not be enough for an entire post, but enough for a “fragment”…you collect all these fragments and then you can jot them down in one post on Fridays.  Sounds easy enough!
So, why not save your fragmented posts for Fridays and join Mrs4444 over at Half-Past Kissin’ Time where it’s ok to be fragmented, or scattered, or even demented…well, maybe not demented, but you get the idea!  Just be sure to link back to her!  She deserves at least that much for giving us this opportunity.

Monday
This is the day I almost lost my Little Man.  You see, he’s really quite the adventurer.  Nothing can keep him contained, hence the new locks on the front and back doors that are high enough andcomplicated enough that he cannot do them. 

Kidding…ours look like this:


On this particular day, everyone (including the spouse) was upstairs as I was in the basement catching up on blogs doing laundry and I heard the back screen door open and close quickly with a *bang*.  I heard nothing else.  I thought for like…ummmm…..3 seconds and said to myself, “Self, get your ass upstairs because that did not sound right.”  Sure as shit, my Little Man had Left. The. Building. 

I looked at my spouse as he wanders into the kitchen….he looks at me….I point to Little Man outside (thank God in a small fenced in area that was once used to contain our dogs)…..and the spouse holds up his hands to deflect my smack hangs his head and says….”uh-oh”.  UH-OH is right!!!  Damn Damn and double-damn!!  I am NOT the only one who should be aware of what the children are doing!!
Tuesday
This was the evening I realized I had one big lousy, painful, and quite annoying UTI.  Spent most of the evening in the bathroom saying, “what the hell?”  “why me?”  “Is this really necessary??”  Went to bed….worried about WETTING the bed….was up all night trying to pee and also up because I was determined NOT to wet the bed.  I am in my 40’s, for Pete’s Sake…this is the in between age where I am not supposed to wet the bed!! 
Wednesday
Woke up in severe pain.  SEVERE!!  Shall I repeat that?? 
S E V E R E !!  P A I N !!
Spent a good part of my day in patient bathrooms, nearly falling off their toilets as I waited not so patiently for my doc to call in an antibiotic.  He finally did which was much appreciated!!  I think I need to send him something….a thank you card, perhaps??  A bouquet of balloons??
 

Thursday
This is the day the spouse got ticked off at Little Man removing all the DVD’s from the drawer….I don’t know how many are in there, 50?  1000??…anyhow, he kept going in there….oh wait….first, let me say, we thought we rectified this issue with Lil Lady a few years ago with the Tot Lock….but Little Man has BROKEN it!!  Now Little Man likes to remove all the DVD’s one at a time, asks you to put the movie in just so he can take it out and ask for another one….It can go on for hours.   So….never the less….our nice TV cabinet table looks like THIS:
Quite attractive strap we got, yes??
I kid you not….locks where there  normally aren’t locks, door knob covers so he can’t open doors we don’t want open….Oh yeah….LOCKS on the fridge  AND freezer because Little Man was helping himself….ALL. Day. Long.  (certainly not because I don’t know how to stop snacking…that would be absurd!!)  Is this because he’s a boy??  Never had so many contraptions to deal with before…hell, you should see what I have to do just to go to the bathroom!!
Friday….Fragmented and Disgusted
Today I tried to talk with my babysitter about cutting down her days.  Yes, I know she is struggling, but I can’t be the one to help her when we can’t help ourselves.  I thought we were more than employee/employer, but I have been shown otherwise.  When I tried to tell her it was because I could no longer afford to pay her and pay the mortgage or the van or or OR…..well, she basically came back with:  “Well, you made it easier for me….I was going to ask you for more money or tell you I was going to have to look elsewhere…”  WTF??  Really?  This is coming from someone that I knew long before she started babysitting for me….not that we were close friends or anything, but I would think there would be something to say for that.  Also,  She KNOWS how we are struggling……Apparently….basically…..people just SUCK!!  They are out for themselves.  Period.  I tried to tell her it would be temporary….
Ahhhh….well….it’s just a sucky way to end my week.   I could go on for a whole post on this one, but I really need to get my thoughts together.  I am seriously wondering how far people will go to benefit themselves.  I need to think about this one…
So, Friday Fragments was a cool way to speak about a few of the major things that have gone on this week.  As you can see, Little Man has us hopping.  To end this on a happy note….I must show you one more way in which the Little Man thinks. 
This worries me just a bit…..

Yes…those are scissors……
Yikes.
That is all.
Happy Friday to you all!! 
Thank you Mrs4444 for bringing Friday Fragments into my life!  You are my hero!

WTH Wednesday

I’m having a hell of a week, and it’s only Wednesday!!  I decided it was quite necessary to partake in the What the Hell Wednesday meme sponsored by the gals over at Blue Monkey Butt.  Come on…you can play too!  Just link up!

 

So….Monday night I thought “mayyyyy-be” I might have a UTI…the frequency, the burning…the urgency…..shit…..

I think I’ve only had one of these ONE time before. 

Those of you who read my blog know I’m a nurse, and with the help of my big Sis over at 2010-Year of Miracles, I like to treat myself.  Well….in order to treat, I need to diagnose myself first, so fortunately I had these little strips available that were going to say “yay” or “nay” in regards to a UTI.

I kid you not….I was stuck in the bathroom for at least an hour!!  WHAT THE HELL??  Every time I decided I didn’t have to go any more, I would then get the urge.

I got out my nice little diagnostic test strip.

I pee on it.

Well, I THINK I pee on it.  Unfortunately I only had enough to hit one fucking square on the strip, and there are two! 

Ok…so yes, positive for nitrites.

I wait another 10 minutes…take a few sips of my trusty Diet Coke….feel like I have to pee buckets….and I manage to squeeze out another drop-luckily hitting the second square.

Ok….also positive for leukocytes.

Now what the HELL am I supposed to do at 11:30 pm?? 

You got it…..

…..NOTHING……but…….SUFFER.

I called my doc first thing Tuesday and talk with the nurse.  I tell her what I needed and she said she will let the doctor know.  I tell her to hurry the fuck up before I die and she graciously says…”ok, honey….relax….”  Don’t fucking belittle my misery!!  Seriously!!

All day long I suffer with spasms of my….what the hell is it….I think it would be my urethra…..anyways…it felt like someone was sticking a damn needle in me…..it was a steering wheel gripping kind of pain.

I do my work, I visit my patients, use their bathrooms several times per visit, and continue to hope for that phone call saying a script was called into the pharmacy. 

I finally get the call at noon.  I hop in my car, nearly knocking the little old lady patient of mine to the ground as I race on out of there.  Then….OHHHH….a damn muther trucker of an insect flies into my car as I am speeding down the main road towards Walgreens.  Yes….I whack the muther but it falls to the floor….

The damn thing had pinchers!!!!  Looked like a damn earwig!!  I don’t even know what an earwig is but damn it looked like one!!

 

SHIT SHIT and Double-SHIT!!!

Missing BUG!!  THAT SUCKS!!!!

I am still speeding like there is no tomorrow…well, in my eyes there won’t be if I don’t get this pain resolved.  And that means no tomorrow for me, my doc, my spouse, the damn postman, the street cleaner, the cashier at the local Walmart…. and anyone else who pisses me off!

I get a phone call.  My bluetooth piece is dead so I have to put the person on speaker as I speed.  Wouldn’t want to be speeding and talking on the phone, ya know??  That’s pretty much illegal….the speeding part….

The person is jabbering away.  Not even hearing if I’m responding or not.  Yak yak yakkity yak yak….on and on and on…..

 

Not even hearing when I scream…..

“Holy Fucking Shit the bug is back!!!!!  It’s on my leg!!  Oh shit!!”

I swerve…..

She keeps talking….

I nearly take out a mailbox…..well, ummmm, maybe I DID take it out….maybe not…..

She keeps talking……

I’m stomping my left foot hoping to God I’m killing the damn monster of a bug that was crawling on my leg….

She KEEPS talking….

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?????

I am nearly hyperventilating and wondering if I have a paper bag somewhere under the seat, but then remember the bug and certainly don’t want to be reaching under there for anything.

I pull off the main road, throw it into park, hop out…

SHE is STILL TALKING!!!!

Dear lord….if I kill this bug and make it to the pharmacy before my urethra disintegrates, I will go to church every Sunday until pig’s fly…I swear…I promise……

I kill the bug.

It’s somewhere under the floor matt.

I hang up on the incessant talker because she was doing me no good anyways.

I make it to the pharmacy.

I get my medication.  I ask if I can double the first dose in hopes of it taking effect a bit sooner.  The pharmacist states it won’t matter if I do.  He suggested an over the counter tablet that will help quicker with the burning and spasms….the only side effect being that it will turn my urine bright orange.  “Just a little weird”, he says.  I say…..

WHAT the HELL!?  I don’t care if it turns my urine fucking purple and my hair green!!!  Gimme Gimme Gimme!!!!

So I sit here and recap my god-awful day.  I realize I did survive.  And I WILL survive.  The pain is less.  My urine is the color of a  Backyardigan….the orange one, of course. 

But does this mean I have to go to church??  I wouldn’t want to scare anyone.  I wouldn’t want any beautiful buildings of worship catching fire….  Besides….did you just SEE THAT??  Out the fucking window!!  Look!!  Hurry!!! 

WHAT THE

HELL???????

Thank you, once again…flying pigs!!!  You rock!!

Where did my Stickies GO?

It’s Tuesday…one of my favorite bloggy days all because of Supah over at Adventures of a WannaBe SupahMommy!!  Yes!  She was certainly onto something when she came up with Post-It Note Tuesday!  Link up and have a great time!!

So, yesterday I was checking out my blog….I do this because I’m in love with my blog.  When I was scrolling thru the posts, I came across last weeks Post-It Note Tuesday, and was dumbfounded!!  This is what I saw….

Yes, THIS post-it took place of ALL my post-its for that post!!

 

Seriously…how DOES this happen?  I wondered…

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So…my last bout of stickies is gone….even when I check back on the saved post….they are gone.  I cannot rememeber what they were.  I must say, I am glad that I wasn’t losing my mind!!  Can you imagine if I posted the same stickie through an entire post??  I don’t even know where “wigflip.com” came from!!! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok….I am now finishing this post 6 hours later and my thought process has changed.  Yes, I still have concerns about physical ailments, but not of the brain tumor/aneurysm kind…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, you see, I’m not having a great day.  I finally got my antibiotics so hopefully relief is in the near future!  I hope to get a chance to read some of the other Post-it Note participants today, even if I have to do from my fucking bathroom!!!

Hope you all are healthy and happy!!

My Toddler Speaks Chinese

Talking toddlers….ahhhh…..the glory in learning new words!  AND, the glory in HEARING the new words they speak each day!

To be honest, I was worried that my Little Man wasn’t talking soon enough.  I know…every child is different….they will talk when they are ready, they will try different foods when they are ready, or they will sit on the damn pot when they are ready.  Lil Lady STILL won’t sit on the damn pot, and none of my three eat vegetables!!  Oh sure, they all ate vegetables when I was the one feeding them….when I shoved in the mashed peas and plugged their noses so they had to swallow had control over what went in their mouths, but now they can speak and say “NO!”, and they can throw it on the floor or at the wall…..

 

 

Anyways, back to the speaking thing.  Little Man has been slow to speak, in my opinion.  The doctor said it’s nothing to worry about, he will talk when he’s ready.  Besides, he has two older sisters that do the talking for him, especially his 3 1/2 year old sister…she can talk anyone’s ear off.  I swear, she’s like 30 years old in that little body!!

So, Little Man has been speaking….all the normal first words like “Mommy”, “Dad-dad-da-da-dadddd!” and “Lilli” for his one sister.  He calls his oldest sister “Issy”….leaving off the first “S”. 

He now will walk around with a flashlight and shine it on different objects, naming the objects as he does so.  This is so cute!!  But we do have to keep tabs on this because we find flashlights ON all over the place…..

 

He also rode on into my bedroom the one day on this little pink and purple push car (this little car actually belonged to “Issy”) and in a very serious, angry voice said, “ahhd dammid!  ahhd dammid!!” and pointed to Lilli.  I asked what???? He said, “da phones!”  Yes, Lilli had both play phones and wouldn’t give him one.  THIS was not so cute, but yessss, wayyyyyyyy funny!!  I should have hung my head in shame, which I eventually did…since these are MY words…but only after I called everyone I knew who cared that my baby was speaking!!

  AND swearing!!

He loves to dance to the Dora The Explorer theme song, and most of the time he tries to sing it too, but usually only says the last word.  Still…this is adorable!!

The other night we were sitting there watching Ni Hao Kai-lan…the cartoon about the little Chinese girl.  People think she’s like a Chinese Dora.  The two shows are quite similar….both speaking a different language, both having animal friends that talk, both little girls wearing orange shorts…..

 

Anylanguage, we are sitting there watching Kai-lan and my spouse starts telling me how the other day when Kai-lan says “let’s count to 3 in Chi….”  He doesn’t even get to finish his story and Little Man says, “Yi, Er, San!!!” 

For those of you who haven’t done your homework, or watched Kai-lan, that’s ONE, TWO, THREE in Mandarin Chinese!! 

I said…..WTF???

I know, I know….this isn’t unusual…kids pick this stuff up so easily.    I am just not used to hearing Chinese come out of any of my children’s mouths.  Yes, English…and yes, some Spanish…but Chinese??  I’m dumbfounded!!  The only time I hear a language similar to this is when I piss off one of the doctor’s I deal with go get my nails done….I expect to hear it there.  (I seriously think they are talking about me, but they won’t admit to it.)

The other day in the store he looked at this lady and said, “I’m Manny”.  Do you know what she said?  Nothing.  She looked at him and didn’t acknowledge him.  What’s up with that you Fucking Biotch?????!!  Seriously…he was looking right at her…she could have at least said “hello” even if she didn’t quite understand what he said.  Right?  Am I right?  Yes, I am right….her ass is mine if I ever see her again.

So…Little Man is catching up with his vocabulary, and I am so proud.  I am now trying to tone down my language in the house….really, I can’t have Little Man calling people in the stores “Mother fuckers” just because he hears me call his Daddy that.  (with utmost respect, of course)

I have to be a good role model for my baby.  After all, he’s my last, and I have to make sure he knows how to be a good Man.  Therefore, when I ran across this video of Ni Hao Kai-lan, I put it in the back of my mind that when the snowy season starts coming around, Ni Hao Kai-lan will be off limits!! 

Take a look and you will see why!!

 

SNOW = xuě   ……….seriously…..go HERE and you can hear how it’s pronounced!!  Kai-lan is quite correct!!

Now…if Little Man starts walking around saying :

tā mā de       

….I just might have a problem with that…..!!

I hope you all had a wonderful Monday!!  Peace out!!

or…

yǒng ān!