Squeeze Those Oranges!

I KNOWWW I haven’t blogged in a while.  I apologize profusely from the bottom of my heart. 

Yeah, right.

Seriously.  I haven’t had a moment to myself since starting my  new job.  That’s right, when I quit my old job that I loved, I not only gave up a job that I loved, I gave up any free time I was able to squeeze in between my home care patients.  Now….I get to work about 8 am, leave at 5 pm, pick up the little ones from the sitter which takes about a half an hour….and that does not include the drive which is only 15 min. each way…..it takes a half an hour just to get them out of the sitter’s house.  They dilly-dally getting their boots on, their coats on…then they need a sucker for the ride home, then Little Man forgets his Nintendo DS…then Lil Lady needs to give the sitter just one more hug….

Fuck THAT!!  Damn!  I’m in a hurry you freakin’ short people!!!

Always in a hurry.

My evenings are then spent trying to pick up the house…not Pick Up the HOUSE…but pick up the toys that have TAKEN OVER the house.  Then I help with homework.  Then I log on to work email to see who fell…because I MUST know this before going to work the next day.  I just MUST.  If there are no falls then I continue with the cleaning, maybe do dishes if I had time to cook, if not, I gather up the paper plates and finger foods that me or my spouse divvied up for the monsters children….

Rush Rush Rush.

About a week or so ago…yes, it’s taken me this long to write about this, but about a week or so ago, a former patient of mine called to say she’s been saving her oranges for my Lil Lady.  You see, Lil Lady absolutely LOVES the taste of freshly squeezed orange juice!  I never ever buy oranges because when I do, they go to waste.  Go figure.  But for some reason, my former patient’s oranges are perfect for squeezing….

 

 

See?  She can’t wait to get her hands on them!

I really didn’t have time to go get the oranges, but I made the time.  This lady went through the trouble of saving these oranges, and I needed to show her that it was a pain in the ass to go get them extremely appreciated.

Remember the days when you were a kid and it didn’t matter what time it was?  It didn’t matter who was waiting on you to get your ass moving…it was All. About. You.  Right? 

I miss those days. 

Watching my teenager go through it is quite frustrating though.  She takes her time getting ready for school…leaves herself 15 minutes to get ready and even though her ride shows up, she makes them wait.  And this seems ok to her.  WTF?  Seriously?? 

But I can NOT get her to understand that she needs to move her skinny ass just a bit faster, especially when someone is waiting on her!!

Then you have the little ones.  Little Man just goes with the flow for the most part, but Lil Lady…yeah, she has to ENJOY everything.  Especially the little things….

 

 

 

So, this got me to thinking.

That’s right….I need to fucking slow down!!  I need to try to enjoy the “little things”.  Like these….

 

 

Flowers from my spouse, delivered to my work place, on Valentine’s Day.

Sweet!!

I barely had time to enjoy them.  (Part of this was because they died really fast which pissed of the spouse who then called to complain because he said he felt like a complete ass….ohhh, the joys of being a proud man….)

Anydeadflower…..I was ok with this.  It was the thought that counted in my eyes.

But I got to thinking….they say…”take time to smell the roses”, right?  Well, mine died, quickly.

So…what next?? 

 Take time to squeeze the damn oranges, THAT’S WHAT!!

 

And take time to RELAX!!

 

 

Because no matter how crazy each day is, and how many things happen to put you behind….you are where you are at any given moment because THAT is where you are supposed to be. 

As I drove to work the one morning last week, in a rush of course….I saw THIS….

 

A Winter Rainbow.

Awesome!!

And I KNEW I was where I was supposed to be…even though I was running late because of the two short people and the teen.  All was ok because this, to me, was a sign.  If I was on time (fat chance)…I would have missed the rainbow, right?

I KNOW things get crazy around here, and I KNOW it’s the choices I’ve made that have made my life quite hectic….but I also KNOW….one day….I will miss all of this chaos.  I will miss the late nights, the early mornings, the rushing around….I KNOW I WILL…

…..and so will you.  So….enjoy what you have now…..because….

….You’re gonna miss this….

 

 

Live each day as if it were your last.

Take the time to smell the roses.  (Sometimes they don’t last a week as guaranteed!)

Slow down and enjoy the rainbows…

…Most of all, take the time to taste and squeeze all the fresh oranges you can!! 

 

 

Happy Sunday!!

I Confess

Link on up with Glamazon and Mamarazzi for Friday Confessional…seriously…you must….

 

 

I confess that I’m feeling like I’ve been driving a piece of shit junk vehicle for a while now.  The odd thing is, it’s a 2006 Chevy Equinox.  THAT should not be in the same category as “shit junk”, should it?

I confess that after the kazillionth time I was told my headlight was out, or that one of my brake lights were out, I laughed in the poor guys face.  Bwaaaahhhahahahahahahaha!  Fuck YOU, Mr. Officer!!    Seriously…I’m tired of THIS light or THAT light being burned out!  What the hell??

I confess that when I was having to open my car door about 7 or so inches in order for my window to go down…yeah, I was pissed at first, but then I got used to it.  And so did every drive-through window attendee I frequently visited each day. 

I confess that if there weren’t any drive thru windows, I wouldn’t get SHIT done, ever!

And I wouldn’t smoke.

And I wouldn’t be addicted to White Chocolate Mochas from Caribou Coffee.

I confess that last week when I actually got OUT of my car and WALKED into Caribou for my mocha, the first thing I heard was, “Terry!!…..”  (Yes, they know me by name…)  Randi (Yes, I know HER by name..) said, “Terry!!  You have legs!!”

You see…I’m a lazy-ass, I confess.  Ok, maybe it’s not being lazy, but it’s knowing how to get shit done quicker than evah.  You see, I can leave the house, get a mocha at the drive thru, drive on down the road for my smokes thru the gas station drive thru, and then…oh yeah….go on over to Walgreens to the pharmacy drive thru and pick up my sanity pills!!  Awesome!  If I had to go into each of these places, that would take me twice as long!!  (AND I would need MORE medication!)

So…when the spouse took my vehicle up to the store the other day and then came in and said, “Do you know that nothing works on that side of your car?”  Nothing as in not just the window, but the speaker and the mirror….

I shrugged it off.  After all, I’d been telling him about my window for over a week now.

I confess that the next day when I got in my vehicle and drove to Caribou only to find out that my window wouldn’t even go down when I opened the door the required 7 or so inches….I fucking freaked!!  What the fuck, Spouse???  YOU get in my vehicle ONE time and now the window won’t go down AT ALL??  Seriously?? 

AND to top it off, I had an hour or so ride to my work place where I am in training to be the best Restorative Nurse in the whole wide world….

Fuck!!

Couldn’t smoke because MY window didn’t go down.  I tried to smoke with the passenger side down and that just didn’t go well.  I confess I tried to blow the smoke out that way, and I tried to flick the ashes in the top of a water bottle….That was just was too confusing to me, and driving on a freeway that I normally don’t drive on…well….yeah, that sucked big time.

I confess, this week has been a nightmare…

 

McDonald’s for the kiddos….

 

Smoke break…

 

White Mocha Time!!

 

Gas Station Drive Thru….

 

ATM…needed cash!!

 

I confess…it sort of started pissing me off…big time….so I tried to PULL down the window from the inside….

  

No success….

And again from the outside…

 

 Fucking window….

 

I confess…I really REALLY am not liking my Equinox….shhhhh….don’t tell her or God knows what kinda shit she’ll pull next!!

I confess…

With each drive-thru place I went to, I made SURE they knew my spouse FIXED my window….

…and THAT was why I had to open my door.

Sorry, Mr. Sake!!

I confess, despite my Spouse’s ability to make my week a living hell “quirks”, I still love him!

Mwah!!!

PINT…Sick AGAIN

Post it Note Tuesday with That One Mom over at Only Parent Chronicles….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s a DATE!!

 

Smart Dog?

For the life of me I cannot comprehend why more people don’t participate in What The Hell Wednesday with the girls over at the Blue Monkey Butt.  Seriously….what the hell??  It’s fun.  It’s simple.  And for Pete’s Sake you know you say “WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!!??” at least 3 times a day, so link up!  Enjoy!

 

 

So…something weird has been going on. 

 

 

My dog….the sweet 7 month old Golden Retriever….believes something is in our wall….the wall in the hallway.  She can’t walk past this wall without stopping and listening.

 

 

What the hell?  Pretty freakin scary if you ask me.  

I’ve listened to the wall.  I’ve listened again.  Not sure if I hear anything or not.  Well, the one time I was listening I got the shit scared out of me because my daughter went on the other side and did a little “knock-knock”…thinking she was being funny. What the hell, kid??  Are you out of your fucking mind?  I’m no spring chicken here and besides, I’m the one that feeds your skinny ass!!

The thing that concerns me is that if it is a mouse….no big deal….it wouldn’t be staying in one place in the wall, correct?  It would move around.  But Cali always goes to the same spot…and stares….and digs….and goes absolutely bonkers.

So…is it BIGGER than a mouse?  BIGGER than a breadbox??  BIG enough that it’s fat ass got STUCK in my WALL???  Shit…

 

 

 

?

 

 

 

 

??

Or…God Forbid…

What The Hell???

(I’ve never seen a cow that fat….)

So, needless to say, I’m a little concerned, as I should be…..

 

If it turns out that Cali is right, and something IS living in my wall…

 

 

Enough said.

The Bug-Guy….well, in this case, the Fat-Ass Rodent Guy, will be here Friday.  I’ll keep you posted!!

Seriously?? ONE Pound??

I am so on a roll.  I tell you…I totally ROCK! 

Not.

I started a diet that I’ve stuck to for 2 weeks….Yes!!  2 WHOLE WEEKS!!  Until this evening….

I get up in the mornings.  I have my coffee.  I’ve been certain to eat a breakfast of some sort even including a half cup of skim milk.  Why skim milk?  Because THEY said it’s important.  Then I follow that with either veggie sausage and an egg (cooked in Pam…not butter) or cottage cheese with fruit (one of those Cottage Doubles).  I also have a fruit cup (not in syrup…maybe in light syrup but mostly sugar free.)  I can’t even believe I’ve done this for 2 WHOLE weeks!!

For lunch the first week I basically fucked up.  Yep…I brought celery and peanut butter every day thinking that the peanut butter would be my protein source.  Why protein?  Because THEY say protein is important. 

 

 

Then I realized that I was taking way too much peanut butter but by the time I realized this I was already addicted, so I needed to go cold turkey.  Skip the peanut butter and add Laughing Cow Blue Cheese flavor to have with my celery.  I also bring 2-3 rice cakes, a granola bar and a fruit cup.  Nice, huh??  I should be shedding those pounds daily, don’t you think??

 

 

Yes, I haven’t been able to give up my White Chocolate Mochas, but, mind you, I have them made with skim milk and NO WHIP so that should count for some sort of will-power, right??  (And possibly my “milk” consumption for the day)

 

 

For dinner I’ve been having cauliflower and tomatoes sauteed with garlic and olive oil….or I have mushrooms stuffed with different flavors of Laughing Cow Cheese…awesome!!  You should try them!  If you are doing the Weight Watchers points, these little delights are barely nuthin!!  A few times I had some baked chicken…

I’ve had popcorn for a snack.  I’ve been drinking water and tons of it because at  my new place of employment there seems to be an issue of very dry air, and along with my lips being so dry they are cracking and my nose being so dry it’s bleeding, I walk around feeling quite dehydrated, so I DRINK TONS OF WATER at work.  I’m wondering where it all goes since I really don’t get a chance to pee….

 

(Oh come on…that’s not ME….look at her waist!!)

 

I slipped up one evening and had McDonald’s with the family, but I didn’t eat the whole snack wrap and fries, just half. 

I also exercised for 30 minutes…once…but I’m just getting started.

 

 

I’m thinking of trying a new exercise routine next week…might be worth it….ya never know…another weight loss goal could be attained!!

 

 

So, tell me….and tell it to my face….why the FUCK have I only lost one damn pound???  Is there some conspiracy against me?  What have I done to deserve this?

I kid you not, I AM TRYING!! 

Now I am so fucking frustrated that today I decided I am on a “break”.  A poptart for breakfast, skipped lunch because I had a Mocha….then I just ate 5 Cajun chicken wings and 1 slice of spinac-artichoke pizza for dinner followed by a little tasty treat called a “s’more” made by this new little pizza joint near my house….

Yep…I ate all that junk, and now I’m pissed.

Do you ever do this?  Try try try only to get discouraged and go off the diet thinking you will start fresh on Monday?? 

Why?

Why do we do this to ourselves??

Call it human nature, call it lack of will power…or call it fucking PMS for all I care!!  It sucks!

Anyone got any suggestions on how to kick start this weight loss already????