Amen for Stickies

Time for Post-It Note Tuesday sponsored by SupahMommy over at Adventures of a WannaBe Supahmommy!!  Come on…don’t be shy…link up!!



Around my house you never know what you are going to hear at any given moment.  Whether it’s the spouse, one of the toddlers, the tween or even myself….sometimes it’s funny, sometimes not so much.  Sometimes it’s just a bunch of gibberish….sometimes not.  Sometimes you don’t know what is being said, but the other person knows damn well what they mean.  Sometimes you just have to say your prayers and hope it’s not YOU that is being smack-talked about!!
With that being said, here’s  my ode to stickies this week!!
















       

Little Man is TWO!

Wow…I can’t even believe Little Man is TWO!!  This totally blows my mind….seriously…This little Man has come a long way.  When he was born 2 years ago I was amazed at how tiny he was.  I had no idea who he looked like…if any body.  He was perfect…..
 

I had no idea the difference between boys and girls…oh come on now, I’m not talking anatomy.  Although you might think I was- considering the  number of times I’ve been pregnant!!  Seriously, my girls were little angels, especially my first, the Tween.  Lil Lady, number 2, well, she has her moments, but I have never found her on TOP of the table like Little Man.  And I have never found her knocking over lamps just because she could like Little Man has been known to do.

This Little Man has me hopping every waking moment.  If I didn’t work outside of the home which gives me a good 5-6 hour break each day, I think I would have committed myself by now!!

His favorite saying is “blahh blobby”.  I have  no idea what this means, and neither does his sister.  Trust me, I have asked her thinking that maybe being so close in age she might have a clue.  Nope.

I was worried for a while that he wasn’t going to talk because his big sisters spoil him and talk for him.  Shoot me now, the Little Man is talking!!  When I asked him to say “TWO”, he said, “dos”.  Repeatedly.  Damn you, Dora…..

So, yesterday we had his party.  Why is it that my kids do NOT get excited about opening presents??  WTF is up with that?  When it’s time to open gifts, it’s me and the spouse that open them…..all the little guy wanted was the freakin camera!!  We could hardly take pictures because he was being so insistent!  Then I always feel bad because these little people never say THANK YOU when they are supposed to!!  Geeesh!!  Ok…so he’s two, but he says it allllll the time at home!  Even if it’s just because you changed his diaper, he will take the diaper, throw it away and holler “Thank youuuuuu!”

I’m hoping that everyone knows how thankful he was for all the gifts…even the noisy ones..yeah….well, appreciated people!!  

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The food was delicious, the cake was pretty good too…so I was told.  I did NOT have any…do you believe that bit of willpower people???  No need to pat me on the back, I’ve done it for you.

There was only one mishap with the cake….and I’m pretty sure Little Man was the culprit.  He was arranging the animals on the top and this is what he came up with….

Yep…the freakin alligator sniffing the elephant’s ass.  Now….where does this sort of thinking come from??  Is it because he’s a boy??  Has this been passed down from his father??  Was my child switched at birth??
Is this just a preview of what I have to look forward to in the future???

Anyways, the party was a success.  The children ran all over the place letting off their pent up energy.  The tweens and teens sat and played on their iPods.  The adults passed around bottles of wine laced with Xanax.  And we all had a great time!!  Here’s to another good year for the Little Man!!  Let’s hope he’s still in one piece next year!!

Lose It Bitches…Me, Not So Much

Ok….I Have. Had. It.  Yep….I need to regroup, once again, and figure out what the hell I’m trying to accomplish with my weight-loss goal.  You all may be aware of the Lose it Bitches challenge.  If not, go on over here and check it out unless you are a Skinny Bitch, then you might not be welcome….sorry for that, but those of us trying to be Skinny Bitches do not like you. 

You see, I have been fighting with the same 5 pounds for weeks….not that I only have 5 pounds to lose, but it’s the same 5 pounds that I keep losing and gaining…day after day after fucking DAY!!  Is this normal??  Can I just double up on my water pill??  Why on God’s green earth did the FDA ban Ephedra???  huh???  I could use some of that right now!! 

I’ve been exercising…yes I have!!  I bought the Just Dance game for the Wii and I love it!  I’ve been at least doing it 3 times a week.  That is GOOD for me.  The way I see it is that any increase in exercise should show some weight loss….don’t you agree?  Am I asking for a miracle here?  No, just asking for my bitch of a scale to cooperate already!!   I’ve done well with the Just Dance….just so you know.  But not well enough to join Shell over at Things I Can’t Say in her contest, sorry Shell! 

You see, my problems is that I…..well……ok, I can’t dance!!!  Ahhhhhahahahahaha!!  No, seriously….I tried….but to video tape myself??  Ummmm…I think not…..well, not until the scale cooperates!

That’s where my isssue is….I can NOT stand the way I look!  My spouse says I’m beautiful and that I have a warped sense of self.  This is probably true, but how does one fix that?  I look in the mirror and I see THIS:



In my eyes, yes….it IS that bad. 

Yesterday I was reading this post over at Can You Throw Up Your Life? It was written quite well….the gist of the post was that possibly when a person continues to fail at their weight-loss goals, it’s because they WANT to be miserable. I can so relate to this, but the part that got me was when she was talking about squeezing an ass that is size 16 or 18 (or larger) into size 14 jeans….and from that point on all I could think about was that I had to leave the house in an hour and I would have to put on JEANS!!! No SHIT!! This sucks!! I wear comfy scrubs to work….and as soon as I get home I put on my oversized flannel pants….yeah….spouse must be ohhhh so turned on at all times.

So…where do I go from here?? Do I continue to fail at this?? I seriously don’t know….

I just know that I am tired of seeing that fat lady look at me from the mirror and just *SIGH* in defeat…..I am seriously tired of her, period.

So…Lose It Bitches…I have not given up…..and I am NOT giving up….I’m just going to continue fighting those fucking pounds into submission.  I will come out on top, you can bet on it!!  It might take me until I’m 80, but I’ll be a Skinny OLD Bitch and be proud of it but look what I’ll be able to do!!

Oh hell…it’s Wednesday!

Well, I usually have alot to say on Wednesdays whether it’s for Chief at Hiding from the Kids …..

or for the gals over at Blue Monkey Butt…..

Apparently I’m in the need for a vacay….somewhere warm…somewhere far away….somewhere quiet…..

I don’t have any hilarious stories for you, but I may have a few What I Meant To Say moments…they were brief….they were not fun….but they were REAL.

For example, when I came home from the grocery store, made 3 trips into the house to carry them in, put them all away including the meat (yuk, disgusting raw meat!!), washed the dishes that were in the sink….then, and only then, did my spouse appear and ask:

“Is there anything else to bring in?”

Me:  “Are you serious??”

What I meant to say:  “Fuck you.”

Done.  Seriously, this is on on-going issue.  I suppose if he is lurking around and reading my blog, he might actually get it.  I don’t know.  It’s not like he doesn’t know how I feel about this.  Trust me…we’ve had “discussions”.  We just see differently on how we are supposed to “enter a house”.  I feel that when one of us is out getting groceries, the other one should be somewhat aware to the point that they hear the one coming home struggling with the bags, making several trips…..

Especially if the one at home is supposed to be AWARE enough to be watching the toddlers….

He feels that the one coming home needs to “announce themselves” like he does when he comes home from work.

WHAT THE HELL?  For some reason after fighting the asshats at the grocery store, nearly being run over in the parking lot, and getting flipped off for taking MY turn at the stop light….I truly don’t feel like coming in the door and saying, “Honeyyyyyy, I’m hooooooooommmmmeeeeee!”  Nope, not me.

When he is coming in the door after work he is NOT carrying 20 bags of groceries…he is carrying a coffee mug and a lunch pack.  He doesn’t NEED help getting in the door after work….at least I hope not!  He says he “seeks me out” when he comes home.  I say I am usually 10 feet from the entrance because unfortunately we do NOT live in a mansion.  What’s this “seeking out” shit??

Anyhoozle…That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.  It’s just one of those “we don’t see eye to eye” or “nose to nose”  issues.  No big deal….we all have these moments….yes?  Say yes….make me feel better!!

Link up….(yeah, those buttons at the top of this post).  I will be over to read yours because I need a few good laughs!!  And yes, I expect some laughs!!

Happy Wednesday!!

Post THIS Baby!

Time once again……Link up with Supah over at Adventures of a WannaBe SupahMommy!  Don’t be shy!!



Some of you might know that I have 3 kids, 2 of which are still in diapers.  I work a fulltime job (well, the hours have been sort of part time due to low patient load) and I also work another job as needed (at a nursing home).  I have a spouse that makes me wonder about life constantly…oh, come on…that doesn’t have to be a bad thing!! 

You also might know that I have been on this weight-loss adventure and losing the battle because of lack of time.  It just seems that each day gets shorter and shorter with everything I try to get accomplished.  Please…do not go checking in my laundry room because I always ALWAYS have a load in the wash or in the dryer.  Things just never get done in a timely manner….

But does time stop just because I need it to??  Absolutely not!!  I am forever on the go…..
So, happy Tuesday and enjoy these Post It’s, they represent my every day life……















       


































So…my Little Man turns two this weekend….I am feeling nostalgic….I am feeling that I cannot believe how time flies.  I wish I could slow things down a bit and enjoy the children more often.  I want to be able to give them a little bit more of the me that is fun….instead of the me that is always stressed and agitated…..

Bottom line….Kiss your children and your spouses….time goes by faster than we realize.  There’s no going back, so enjoy what you have when you have it!  Make sure the people you love know how much you care every day!!

Tomorrow always comes, but how many of us are gonna still be here??
Think about it!
Have a great Tuesday!                  

I’ve Been Crowned Again

Ok, I know you aren’t going to believe this and for certain you’ll be just a tad jealous of me when I tell you this, but you’ll just have to deal with me bragging about once again being called the Queen!! 

A while ago I received a blog award from Dual Mom over at We’re At Dad’s That Week.  The reason she awarded me was because I so selflessly offered to share a quarter of my child’s ADHD medication patch because one of the side effects is loss of appetite.  For that she called me “Queenshit”!!  I laughed my ass off.  I’ve been called many a things, but never Queenshit.  So, as any grateful award recipient would do, I grabbed my award and ran!! 

Last week I received a comment on my post for What I Meant to Say.  The comment was from Linda over at The Good, The Bad, The Worse.  She just totally made my day with her appreciation of my potty mouth.  Yes, I do have a potty mouth but on most days I work very hard to control it.  Other days…not so much.  This particular post had 4 words in it that must have hit a tickle spot with Linda……and now she has gone and offered up her crown to me for being the “bad word Queen”!  Oh my mother would be so proud! 



Now…if you add those two things to the fact that Lisa over at World According to Lisa has made me her Crown Sistah….well, that means I must be truly fucking important.  I must be just one step away from royalty!!  From the way the 3 year old thinks she has a princess ass and won’t sit on the potty, to the way the tween feels I need to cater to her every whim….well, they must get it honestly….from the Queenshit Royal Momma!  (that would be me)

Now, don’t get me wrong…I am not here to rub this in your face, I am only here to share my good fortune.   I was trying to come up with a way that I can share my brilliance newly obtained status and I thought long and hard of what to do to show others that they can be as royal as I am their uniqueness is just as awesome….and with Linda in mind, I’ve come up with the following blog award:



Here are the rules:

1. Grab your award and love it with all you have.  Post it on your blog if you chose.
2. Thank the giver of the award profusely by linking up to their site.
3. Clap your hands three times to get everyone’s attention and shout to the world that your blog rocks!!  (because it does!!)
4. Use the saying “Holy Fucking Monkey Balls” at least once on the day you receive your award.  You will feel like a QUEENshit also!!  (or a KINGshit for those of you that have gender issues)
5. Pass the award to sixty nine fortyfive…..9 bloggers (because 10 is too many) that  have made you laugh out loud, inhale popcorn or snort coffee out your nose with their amazing bloggie antics. 
6. Leave a comment on the recipients blogs so they know to come to your site to pick up the award. 
7. Enjoy your award, display it proudly, and never forget that without YOU, my days would be less fulfilling!!

Drumroll…………………………..the very first recipients of the Holy Fucking Monkey Balls award are…………………….

• Linda over at The Good, The Bad, The Worse because she has totally had me laying on the floor of the coffee shop in uncontrollable laughter…go…check out her blog!
• Kat over at 2010-year of Miracles because we have moments every day that cause such freaking laughter that either one or the both of us pees our pants.  Oh, and she’s my sis…
• Shell at Things I Can’t Say – She has gotten me hooked on Just Dance on the Wii…and if you want to check out some crazyass people lovelies who have posted their Just Dance encounters, go on over there to her blog….in fact, she has another contest in the makings right now!
• Tina at Awaiting Tranquility – she’s a newbie with blogging but already has the knack of making me LOL….she is also my BFF so if you don’t go visit her I might have to kick your ass do something mean to you.
• Dual Mom at We’re at Dad’s That Week – I’m telling ya, if you are not following Dual Mom, you are totally missing out.  She’s hysterical and I think she uses FUCK as much if not more than I do!  I fucking Love it!
• Lisa over at World According to Lisa – She was one of the first blogs I read….and I laughed….and I inhaled popcorn reading her shit…yeah…almost killed me!!  You need to check her out!!  Seriously!!
• Gregory J over at Day to Day….honestly…you will NOT freakin  believe what this guy writes about.  I can’t even give you an example….you need to check it out for yourself….if not, well, then you suck because his blog is da bomb!!
• Chief over at Hiding from the Kids.  Oh good heavens, I kid you not, if you go read her shit and you don’t laugh…well then I think you may need some sort of therapy to put your fucking sense of humor back in order!!  really….go see for yourself.
• Supah over at Adventures of a WannaBe SupahMommy.  Well, she NEEDs this award because her blog DOES rock…and if you really want to doubt me…check her out on TUESDAYS…You seriously will thank me for sending you there!!
• Glamazon at Glamazon Mormon Mom  Well, after all the potty-mouthing and being proud of the potty-mouthing all week, on Friday I go here and confess to Glamazon.  She cleanses my soul and gets me ready for the next week of vulgarity!  She’s my hero!

Oh shit…I just gave it to 10!!  Oh the hell with it!  I could probably go on and on and on but I will stop here as I am sure I have rambled about my amazing royalty enough.  Don’t worry, if we ever meet on the street and you forget to bow, I will seriously mess you up forgive you.