Kidnapped

Ahhh…some of you might think I have been kidnapped for the past week.  Some of you might think I’ve totally lost it considering my last post.  Some of you know better and have realized that my spouse was off work ALL LAST WEEK!!  Yep, that’s my reason for not blogging! 

Crazy??

Yes, I think so.

The funny thing is, I’m not sure WHY his being home disrupted my normal routine.  Yes, I was a wee bit more tired, but in his defense, I also worked a couple of night shifts which messed up my sleeping, so he can only be blamed for one particular day that I only got 3 1/2 hours of interrupted sleep after working the night shift.  Yes, I said BLAMED!! 

He should have kept the nearly 4 year old out of our room.  He should have not hollered at the cute little Cali puppy 15 thousand-kabillion times right outside our bedroom door. 

Oh don’t worry if he reads this…this is no secret.  He is well aware of the sleep I didn’t get.  Trust me.

Don’t get me wrong, I really really REALLY understand how hard it is to keep track of 2 toddlers and a puppy….I really do….but I kept reminding him that nobody forced him to take the week off.  It was his choice, for Pete’s Sake!!

Yes, Cali can be a handful.  She’s a puppy!!  She’s in to everything, she pees every time you turn your back, she chases the Little Man until she can sink her sharp puppy teeth into any part of his body.  She digs holes….and digs some more….we fill the holes with her puppy shit and she finds another spot to dig.  We fill that hole with her puppy shit, and she digs somewhere else….on and on and ON it goes.  This is one spot she has chosen to dig that we can’t put her shit into….

The Sandbox…

….then you have Little Man who loves to terrorize poor Cali.  He drags her by her leash, he pulls her tail…he even tried to pick her up by her ears!!  Fuck!!  That was it for me!!  Whew!!  Can you imagine taking your puppy into the emergency vet and having to explain why her left ear is nearly ripped off???  Shit!  That’s some scary stuff right there.  Seriously…can you say toddler jail???  I hope he can show some remorse…

Then you have Lil Lady who is the sweetest almost-four-year-old I know.  Yes, she is.  She didn’t even cause harm to Cali when Cali ate her very last binkie!!  Yesss!!  We are binkie free and I have to thank the spouse for his not paying attention to things for this one!!  Cuz you know….if *I* was home for the week, I would have made sure the binkie was safe from the puppy teeth because I would have been too afraid of how Lil Lady would react when her last binkie was eaten. 

She’s been fine.  She has mentioned it only a couple of times, but that is it.  Should have gotten a puppy when she turned 2!!  (not FOUR)  In fact, when I told her she needed to stop growing, she said, “But I’m almost 4!!  Four is big!!  Three is NOT!”  How smart she is!!

And of course, we have the teen.  Not that the spouse had to deal much with her until 3pm when she got home from school, but apparently that was also too much teen for him to cope with.  I’m thinking he feels she has some sort of vendetta against him.  I tell him to “walk a-way….just WALK A-WAY…..”  But he likes to get the last word in.

And so does she.

So I am the one that chooses to WALK the FUCK AWAY!!  Geesh!!  There is only so much of THAT I can take.

Don’t get me wrong, the spouse really does try (yes, Honey, I think you do) but he’s just not “The Mom”.  And we all know….well, us Mom’s know that we do it best, right??  I know the spouse feels less than adequate because of how I respond to him…in fact, just yesterday he said:

“Sometimes I think you feel I can’t do anything right.”

My response??

“Sometimes I don’t think you can.”

So, the positive aspect of this?? 

We FUCKING agreed!!   Wooooo hooooooo!!!

On that note…I really need to go pay attention to the Little Man who is no longer watching Sprout TV, but taking APART the DVD player with Daddy’s tools that somehow don’t get put back where they should!!

Happy Monday!!